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Forsaken - Available in PDF!!

2011-05-24T09:45:00.000+04:00

Hi All,

Thanks for the kind words and all roses and brickbats. Please eel free to download the Novel in PDF format and ask your friends to read it too. After all you are my only hope of getting it propagated!!

You can download the PDF from Here!

Forsaken - Chapter 28

2011-05-15T15:25:00.003+04:00

Chapter 28
Raju sat there in stunned silence. He could not believe what he was hearing. How can it be possible? But it was too real to be made up. He watched the hunched figure, sitting across the table, with a thin, grey beard and soiled clothes. If what he said was true, God was very cruel to him.

“I can’t believe it.” Finally he spoke. But he did not see any reason not to believe him.

“You wanted my side of the story. I gave it to you. Believe it or not, is there really any difference?” Ajit sported a scornful smile.

“Then what happened? You did not tell me the rest.” Raju was curious to know the whole of it.

“Then what? I washed up from a nearby tap as much as I could. I went home. Even before my reaching there, the news has reached there. The same guy who recognized me, had home number, and he called up Ammachi. It was the first time Ammachi beat me. With the broom, with whatever she could get. And she cursed me.” Ajit said in an emotion-less voice.

The most painful thing was Ajit thought, the final thing Ammachi said.

“As soon as you came out, your mother died. You came to make other’s suffer. Devil’s son. You will never get peace. Mother-killer. I never want to see your face again. Get lost.” She cursed him.

That was the last he saw Ammachi.

“Where were you all these years?” Raju asked in a low voice. He was moved by his story.
Ajit thought of the long years he spent in exile. How many cities it had been? The struggle to feed himself, the beatings he took from urchins, the streets where he slept for countless days.
Suddenly he felt another wave of pain washing through him. It had been only an hour or two since his last dose of medication, but the pain came back with a vengeance. Now the pain is not limited to his abdomen. He felt the sharp pangs under his chest. He flinched.

“Are you all right?” Raju saw him squinting as if in pain.

“Yeah, I am okay” he said through clenched teeth. He was not at alright. He suspected that his final days had begun. The beginning of the end.

“You are not going to ask about your father?” Raju questioned after a long pause.

“Kurien had lost everything in Dubai.” Since he did not answer his question, Raju ventured. “His partner cheated him and he was jailed for some time in Dubai. Then he returned home, with empty hands.”

Ajit did not feel any surprise. Nor did he feel elated. It was as if he was talking about somebody who was not related to him at all. It was all about some stranger.

“And his beloved son, Anish, he has become his headache now. He lost a lot of money in some business with his friends and now sitting idle at home” Raju was taking a perverse pleasure telling him that. He remembered how Kurien scorned this boy.

“Anita?” He did not even remember her face. She and her mother never considered him existing. He saw her only a few occasions.

“She was married off to some guy in Pala. I don’t know much about her.” Raju explained.

There was another long pause. Raju checked his watch. It’s four-fifteen now. He had to move. He motioned towards the boy who served them and asked for the bill.

As he counted the notes from his wallet he remembered he had not paid Ajit fully. He took out four five-hundreds from his wallet, thought for a moment, and then added another two.
“Here is the cab rent. I think I’ll have to go now.” Raju stood up to go.

“What will you do now? Would you inform father?” Ajit asked while hesitatingly accepted the money.

Raju did not know what to answer. He wasn’t sure what to do.

“I don’t know” finally he admitted.

“Please don’t. There is something I haven’t told you.” Ajit decided to come open with him.

Raju sat back. He was curious.

“I haven’t got a lot of time.” He started.

“What do you mean by that?” Raju questioned. The creases on his forehead were more visible now.
Ajit explained what Dr. Kulkarni told him. Raju was aghast.

“What? I can’t believe it. I mean you are very young” Raju was really wondering why Ajit was chosen for all these.

“Why I told you this is, I don’t want you to tell anybody about seeing me.” Ajit concluded.

“But I already told Susan.” Raju remembered his telephone conversation with Susan. Was it today itself? So many shocks since then, he thought.

“I hope she won’t tell anybody,” Ajit mumbled.

“No. She won’t,” he was thoughtful.

“Ok. Please forget about all these. There was nothing I could do, or you could have done. It’s my fate.” He stood up, started to lose his balance and then straightened.

“You did not take any medicines?” Raju stood up as well.

“No use. It’s all too late.” Ajit smiled at him. Strangely he was at peace.

“Aji, you never asked anything about Nisha.” Raju was contemplating whether to tell him. But this news is really shattered him, and he want to give him whatever good news he can.

Raju saw Ajit’s eyes sparkled for a second. That fleeting second, he saw that big, feminine eyes of that boy. Then it was gone.

Ajit just nodded. Raju explained about her studies in U.K. and her job there, why she was in India et al. Finally he informed him about her unwillingness to marry.

“I know about your relationship back then. I wasn’t against it, but your father’s attitude worried me. That’s why I forbade her from talking to you. I thought when you were able to support yourself, I could talk about it with your Ammachi.” Raju explained.

Ajit just smiled. He was happy to know at least one person from his past was doing well. She was an angel. She deserved only the best things in the world.

Then, without any preamble, Raju blurted out.

“Do you want to talk to her?”

Ajit’s heart skipped a beat. All the while, he was contemplating whether he should ask about her. But he refrained from it, fearing that Raju would get mad. Now Raju was asking the same question. But talk about what? About the past? About their love, which was never destined to be? Or his struggle? His initial euphoria died down. He realized that they were now in opposite poles. Moreover, it may open up old wounds.

Raju took his silence for assent.

“Right now she is in the conference. And tonight you can’t talk to her because Paappan Achayan will be coming. You tell me where to come and I’ll bring her. I’ll explain everything to her tonight. But…” Raju trailed off. He was devising a plan in his mind. If Nisha saw him in that condition, it could rekindle the old flames. But if Ajit agreed to do what he had in mind, she might just see the point they were stressing all along.

“But?” Ajit knew his heart would burst now.

“You have to tell her that you are married. Tell her you are married and have kids. You can say you married some local girl and you know….” He once again did not complete his sentence. Raju was feeling guilty to do this to the man, but he was, after all, Nisha’s father. Only her well-being mattered to him now.

Ajit let out a knowing smile. Yes, this is what it is. Everyone is selfish. He wants to use me to help her make up her mind. Hell, why not. If she gets a good life, my life would worth something.

He agreed and told him where to come. “Come to the Khar Railway station, on the west side of it, and ask any Cigarette vendor where Ajit Bhai, Taxiwallah, would be. They will know where to find me”

Raju said he would get another cab, since Ajit had drunk too much and it was not a good idea to drive now. Raju told him to give him a call if there was anything he could do, he would be glad to help. Ajit said he would. They parted ways.

Forsaken - Chapter 29

2011-05-15T15:25:00.002+04:00

Chapter 29
Ajit was lying in the cab. He came back to Khar and found his shanty no more. There was all kind of debris littering the whole area. He went straight to Babaji’s shop, collected the few belongings and deposited in the trunk of the car.

He was frightened. After leaving Raju, he could not sit properly. There was something in his stomach that was hurting him. He tried to eat something, but as soon as he took two bites, his stomach was full. Towards the evening, he had trouble breathing. He decided to go to the doctor next day.

He bought another pint from the nearby bar, and sat in the car. He sat there for many hours, aware about the growing pain. He did not take any pain killers since it was of no use. As he drank the last drops from the bottle, he felt a little numbness in his brain.

Right in front of his eyes, he saw his entire life being played out as if in a film. The struggling, yet happy childhood, the days spend with Nisha, the cruelty of his father, the treason of Reji, the pain, the humiliation, everything was being played out. He laughed with the characters when they laughed, he cried when the boy cried, he felt his heart breaking when the boy and girl parted. Then he saw a cactus, growing out from the ground, and growing through the car’s floor, upward and it grew up to his chest, as he looked on. His whole body was scratched by its thorns, and he was bleeding. He felt the thousands of thorns pulling at his flesh. Then he saw a hand, a slender hand reaching out to wipe out the blood. It was precariously close to his face when something yanked him away from it. It was so powerful. He struggled to free from its clutches, but it dragged him further down. The final thing he saw was a fifteen year old girl smiling at him from a small, torn photograph. He reached up once more, kissed it and went down with the force that was pulling him down. He went into the smothering darkness, screaming her name.

Forsaken - Chapter 27

2011-05-15T15:21:00.000+04:00

Chapter 27
Reji was smiling inwardly. He was having immense pleasure in seeing the Mecheril boy staggering to the gate. That damned lady, the boy’s grandmother, was badmouthing him everywhere, especially in the church that he was a drunkard. And a womanizer. “Look at your own grandson now,” he mused. “I promise that I’ll make him a good drunkard, like me. Then let me see how you can go around and talk about it”

He was looking for a way to tarnish the image of that kid for long. It had started since his childhood. Though he was elder to Ajit by a couple of years, there was a constant comparison with him.

“Look at that Ajit, you fool. He doesn’t have a mother, his father abandoned him, but how good he is in his behavior. And you, you have everything and that spoiled you.” His mother used to say whenever he picked up another fight at the school.

The hell they knew. Reji thought. Since his childhood, he had seen his mother and father fighting everyday. His father drank too much and started a fight for no rhyme or reason. If the tea was little cold, there would be a fight. If it was too hot, another one. It usually ended with beating up the wife. On her part, she always pestered him with silly things. He had never seen any love between them. He could never study in his house.

His only solace was his friends. Unfortunately for him, he was hooked up with a group of boys who were spoiled brats, whose parents were highly affluent and working outside India. They sent money to them and they were splashing it. By the time he realized it, he was branded an outcast since everyone knew of drinking and womanizing traits.

What they have done to me, He thought, I’ll do it to him. After all someone had to be there to carry on the legacy. He laughed to himself.

Ajit was feeling guilty. Ammachi was pleading with him.

“Monay, please don’t spoil your life. You have to continue your studies. Why you are getting into the company of that cursed boy, Reji?”

“He is not cursed. He was nice to me.” Ajit retorted.

“The hell he was. You don’t know him. He is trying to avenge the feud with our family.” She tried to make him understand.

“What am I supposed to do? I have no friends, I have nobody. Should I sit in here all day, watching my life wasted like this?” He was on the verge of tears.

“So is this the way you want to live your life?” she questioned.

Ajit did not reply. He knew he was being needlessly harsh with her. But he could not help it.
Ajit did not go out for the next week. He stayed home and renewed his promise. That he would never hurt his Ammachi and would never drink.

Three weeks later, he received his licence. He was elated. He had proved his father wrong. He had always told him that he was not good enough for anything. Now you see, he challenged his father in his mind; I have got the Driving License. Now I’ll join a good institute to study some good course and I’ll become somebody, one day.

Ajit joined a computer course in Ranny, on the insistence of Johny, who advised him not to waste his time. There were still some five to six months before the next academic year would start and by which time Ajit could complete the course. He predicted that this new technology called computer will replace all the type writers and had already become a rage. Ajit was not very open to this idea, but Johny made him agree for it.

But from the first day, he was fascinated by it. The most attractive thing was, he could give commands, as his teacher explained, and the computer would obey. A rack-full of files could be placed into a small diskette. It was called floppy. He was hooked to it from the first day. And the games. A shooting game where he could shoot down all the rockets that were flying on the screen got him addicted. It was the early days of computer and a program called DOS has changed the way computers operated, his teacher had said.

It was the second week of his class, and he has become an expert in DOS. The teacher praised him for his quick learning, and told him if he continued that way, in the near future, he could join for another course, where he could develop his own games. The thought fascinated him. The course, known as programming, was very popular in the world around and he could get job immediately, the teacher suggested.

It was a Saturday. There was no class today, but the instructor allowed him to come and practice. Ajit was particularly moody since he tried to call up Nisha in the morning without any success. Susan picked up the phone.

“Hello.”

“Aunty, this is Aji,” He tried in a pleasant voice.

“Yes Aji, what is it?” She was not at all friendly.

“Aunty what did I do to you all, to behave like this?” his voice quivered.

“Aji, I have told you many times and I am telling you this. Raju Achayan is really angry with your father. He doesn’t want us to talk to you folks. He is mad about your father threatening him and doing all that at his house.” She said in a soft voice, referring to the mayhem Kurien created when he was there. In fact she was feeling guilty to talk like this to the boy, for no fault of his.
“Aunty, can I talk to Nisha, Just for a minute. Please.” he was begging.

“Nisha is not here, Monay. She wouldn’t do anything that displeases her father. His word is the last for her.”

Ajit hung up the phone in utter dismay. He has tried to call her few times in the past month, but had not succeeded a single time. He was aching to listen to her soft voice, to hear her calling him Aji. Disappointed he set out to the computer institute. As he was leaving the house, Ammachi called out from behind.

“When you will return, Monay?”

“By evening Ammachi,” he replied.

“Go carefully Monay, Last night I had a dream that you met with an accident. So please be careful when you cross the road. There are too many vehicles on the road these days” She said in a concerned voice.

“Ammachi, I am not a kid now. I know it.” He said in a mocking voice and left the house.
He walked not more than hundred meters, when a vehicle stopped near to him. It was the white Maruti Omni and the familiar face of Reji smiled at him from the driving seat. Surprisingly there was nobody with him.

“Hey you have been missing for so long from the vicinity. Where were you?” he queried.
“I was a little busy with my computer course.” he said proudly.

“Come. I’ll drop you there.” he motioned with his head to get in as he unlocked the front door.
Ajit hesitated. Then seeing no harm in riding with him, he got in.

“Where are your friends today?” Checking the backseat to make sure he is alone, he asked him.
“Well, I am getting rid of them. They are bad influence” He whispered as if they are co-conspirators and he feared someone would overhear him.

“Oh.”

“Even I want to join for this computer course. How is it? Easy?” Reji questioned as he overtook a car.

“It’s easy and fun.” Ajit said with touch of pride. Somebody has asked for his advice.

For a minute they rode in silence. Then Reji asked.

“What about the party I offered? Shall we go for it today?”

“No. I can’t come with you today.”

“But why? Today is Saturday. So if you go to the class, or not, no one will notice.”

Ajit said he could not drink. He promised Ammachi.

“Ok. I’ll tell you what. Even I am planning to quit this habit. But for one more time. The last time I am asking you. After this even I will stop drinking.” He made it sound like a farewell.
Ajit was adamant. They had reached the institute. He thanked him for the lift and was about to get down.

“I thought you are my friend. I dropped all my friends and you are the only one left. Please Ajit, give me a chance to treat you. After today, I will never ask,” he was pleading.
Ajit found his pleading strange. Usually he was surrounded by his cronies and never fell short of company. Maybe he was telling the truth. He must have left all of them and was trying to become a good man. Anyway he had promised it would be the last time. Moreover, he was in a melancholic mood at not being able to talk to Nisha and did not feel like working on the computer.

“Ok. I’ll come. But it’s the last. Okay?” Ajit looked at him questioningly.

“Yes of course.” Reji was visibly relaxed.

They bought the liquor from the bar and took it to the Van. Instead of opening the bottle, as was the custom, he put it on the seat and started the vehicle.

“Where are we going?” Ajit queried.

“I know of a good place. There they serve very good Kappa (tapioca) and beef. A party means not only drinking, is it?” He winked at him.

It was a couple of kilometers from town. As they passed, the landscape changed. There were many huts, mostly made out of mud walls and thatched roofs. The huts were situated very close to each other.

“This is the tribal colony” Reji explained.

“Why we are going here?” Ajit was perplexed. He saw these kind of huts, but it was first time he saw so many of them as close to each other.

“On the other end of this colony, there is one Aunty I know of. She makes that Kappa and beef and she allows us to drink there,” he explained.

They parked the van at the road side and got out. Passersby’s gave them a curious glance.
“Come, let’s go,” Reji urged.

Ajit mind was in turmoil. He did not like the setup or the way people looked at them. They were standing in front of a house, which was partially covered from the view by the foliage that grew on the yard. The house was made up of raw-brick and a tiled roof. There was something sinister about the whole situation.

“Come on man. Have you developed cold feet?” Reji was impatient.

Ajit got down. He was having a premonition that something was wrong. He could not put his finger on it though. An old man walking by and seeing them, spat on to the road contemptuously.

Ajit climbed down from the van, locked the door and walked towards the house.

Reji knocked on the locked door. He did it twice before the door opened. A lady opened the door. Seeing Reji, her face suddenly went dark. She looked around, urged them to move inside.

“I told you not to come in the day time,” she told Reji.

“My friend wanted to come now,” he pointed to Ajit, winking at her.

Ajit was looking at the lady. She was in her late thirties, or early forties. When she smiled, the teeth were visible. The y were placed randomly and having lots of space in between. She wore a lungi, a sheet of cloth worn around the waist and reached till her ankles, and a blouse. Her mid-riff was bare. Mass of lump hung from there.

She looked at him and gave that grotesque stretching of lips, of which she considered as a cute smile.

“Oh such urgency.” Then turning to Reji, “The neighborhood is not very good. That’s why I told you not to come during the day.”

‘It’s okay. Get something to eat.“ He spoke as he opened the full bottle of whiskey.

She brought some pickle and fried dry-fish, which obviously was a left over from last night. She placed a jug besides them and went back to get the glasses.

As she left, Ajit whispered to Reji.

“I am not feeling well. Let’s go.”

“What’s the issue, kiddo? Let’s have a couple of drinks and we are on our way. I guess she hasn’t prepared the Kappa and beef. It’s available in the evening only.”

“What is he saying, Reji?” She came into view with three glasses in hand.

“He is a little afraid.” He explained as he took the glass from her and started pouring the drink into them.

“Don’t worry. When you leave this place, you will be a pro. I will see to it,” she giggled.
Reji gave him a glass. He took it with trembling hands. He just wanted to finish the drink fast and get out from this place. He knew what it was.

Reji stood up after finishing his drink. He took the keys from the table.

“Aunty, I’ll be back in a minute. You give him what he requires,” he said with a wink.

“Where are you going? I am coming with you.” He was frightened to see the lady finishing her glass in one gulp like a veteran. He did not want to be left alone with this monster.

“Hey, boy, I am going to get some cigarettes. It’s just around the corner. You two just pour another drink. I’ll be back by then.” With that he left the room. The lady stood up, walked to the door and closed it.

Ajit was really frightened now. He tried to hide his nervousness by pouring another drink. But right now he did not feel like drinking it. He prayed that Reji would return soon.

The lady stood opposite to him. Seeing his nervousness, she teased him.

“Why you are trembling, Monay? I am not going to eat you,” she giggled.

“I am not trembling.” Ajit said defiantly.

“How much cash have you got?” Ajit was totally taken aback by this question.

“Cash? I don’t have anything. It’s Reji’s treat.” He said pointing towards the bottle, which was half empty now.

She laughed. A wicked, dirty laugh, Ajit thought. He started to fidget.

“Ok. I don’t mind who is paying. I should get my money.” With that she sat down heavily and mixed another drink for herself.

Ajit knew what she was referring to. He felt like retching. The mere thought of it made him sick. As he watched, the lady downed the drink as she did before. One gulp. Then once again she stood up and took his hand in hers.

“Come on then? What are you waiting for? Your friend to help you?” She giggled once again.
Ajit recoiled. He stood up to run. He shook her hand off from his and made a dash towards the door. His timing was little late. He heard a commotion outside the door. It was like so many people talking at once. He could hear someone talking loudly.

“We cannot allow this. We are staying here with our families.”

Then someone else seconded that;

“Yes. Our kids are growing up seeing this wickedness. We should teach them a lesson.”

And yet another person;

“That too in broad day light? What is this world coming to?”

Ajit froze in his tracks. He knew what it meant. The local residents were coming to catch the whore.

He did not know what to do. He ran towards the kitchen, hoping that there would be a door, through which he can escape. He found the door, and tried to unlatch it.

“No use. There is no way over there.” He heard the lady from behind.

He turned to see she was standing right there in the room. She too was little surprised from the sudden change of events, and from experience she concluded that the business here is over. She had to find another green pasture. There were loud knocks on the door.

Ajit frantically searched for a place to hide. He saw a bed in the room towards his left. He thought of hiding under it, but he realized it would be too dangerous. That will convince the crowd that he was in it. The banging has become louder and the door swayed on its hinges.
“Please do something. Please. If I am caught here, my life would be finished” He pleaded her in a hushed voice.

“What can I do? There is no way.”

The banging was ever louder. He thought the door would give way any moment. He swallowed hard and walked towards the door and opened it.

The first blow connected with his nose. Instantly he saw flashes. There was a current of blows. Most of them were aimed at his face. He saw one fist coming straight at his right eye, as you see in close-up photography. Then the eye went out.

He did not know what was happening to him. He heard someone calling out to the others.

“See, they were drinking liquor.”

“A stimulant, huh” There was laughter. He turned towards the origin of the sound. He wanted to tell him that he was tricked. He wanted to tell him that he did not come for it.

“Look at that bastard. If he is like this at this young age, what would it be when he will be a man? Scum of the earth.”

Someone spat at him. He felt the sticky fluid land on his face and slowly making its way down. He wanted to die. He was finished.

That’s when someone suggested.

“Let’s call the police. Let these scumbags rest in the lock-up tonight.”

Ajit’s throat went dry. He looked at the man, who has grabbed his hair in his fist, as if to prevent him from running away. A pleading look. His heart screamed to let go.

He tried to talk. But only a croak came out. He saw blood dripping on to his shirt.

“No. No. If the police come, then we would have to go to the court and you know all that stuff.” And turning to him, with a vicious, contemptuous look on his face, he suggested.

“If you ever come back to this area, we will break your legs.” And to the lady “You should vacate the house right now. If we see you anywhere within ten kilometers of this area, you are dead. You understood?”

The grasp on his hair loosened. As he got up to his feat, he saw many people looking on from the road disgustingly. He hoped no one would recognize him.

“Hey, you. Stop there.” Some one from the crowd shouted at him. Ajit obliged.

“I know you. You belong to Mecheril Family, right?” he came up to him, studied his face as if to make sure.

Ajit’s heart stopped beating. If someone recognized him, it would all be finished. Without looking at the man, he replied.

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you. I know I have seen you in Johny’s house. I worked in his estate for a year” The man turned towards the crowd.

“I know this fellow. He hails from a good family, and his uncle, Johny is a friend of mine. And I know his father as well.”

Ajit was sure about one thing. The news will reach his village like a wildfire. It’s all over. What would I do? How could I look at Ammachi? When his father learns of it what would it be like? His mind churned. He walked with his head down. His cursed life should end. Yes, I can’t live any longer now. It is the end.

He thought about Nisha. He was damn sure, when she or Raju uncle came to know about this incident, they would be horrified. They will never look at me. Why, oh why did you do it Reji? What did I do to deserve such a fate?

Forsaken - Chapter 26

2011-05-15T15:03:00.000+04:00

Chapter 26
The bar was totally empty. The afternoon rush was just over and the waiters were cleaning the floor when they walked in. It was dark inside and strewn with used paper napkins. There was a pungent aroma inside the bar. The aroma of stale smoke and liquor.

They sat down on a corner table, which was just cleaned by the waiters. As they did so, a boy, no more than eighteen and was wearing a black t-shirt and dirty trousers, came over. He stood there expectantly.

“I want a quarter of whiskey.” Ajit ordered. He chose a cheap local made one. He then looked expectantly at Raju.

“I’ll have a coke.” Raju declined the offer.

The waiter came back with the orders and put it in front of them. Ajit opened the bottle, poured almost all the content of the quarter whiskey, added little water and drank in one gulp. Then he took a piece of cucumber from the plate that the boy just placed there.

All the while Raju was just observing him. His initial contempt has subsided and sympathy took its place. Sure, he had gone through hell. He thought. He got the punishment. There is no point in hurting him anymore. But the accusation that he was the reason was too much for him.
“Do you remember the day when my father came to your house and burned my cricket kit?” Ajit started without any preamble.

“Yes. How can I forget?” Raju answered. It was still clear in his mind. Kurien came bursting inside searching for the boy. Raju pleaded with him to let the boy finish the tournament at least. His remarks were terse.

“Do you plan to adopt him, Raju? I am his father. You have no right to interfere. I want him to study.”

They had an argument. Kurien threatened him with physical violence if he interfered and Raju had no doubt that he meant it. So he was a mute spectator to the horrifying, savage act.
“Once back at home, he beat me with his belt.” Ajit was pouring whatever was left in the bottle.
It was as if Kurien was determined to break every bone in the boy’s body. He let out his anger and hatred on him. After beating and kicking him in the stomach, he took his leather belt, and swung it. It coiled around Ajit’s upper torso and as it uncoiled, it went with the skin. It was all in the closed room. He could hear the pounding on the door. It was Ammachi.

“Eda leave him. Please don’t kill him. I sent him. You beat me, but please, oh please, let the boy out.”

Ajit took the punishment without shedding a tear. It was like his body was insulated against any pain. He did not feel any pain. Finally and fortunately Kurien had had enough. He opened the door. Ammachi came running. As she saw his shirt-less upper torso, she let out a gasp.

Later she put some Ayurvedic oil onto the wounds. Ajit did not speak at all. His stare was blank. He was not aware about the things he was being subjected to.

That night Ammachi decided to confront Kurien. She went to Kurien, who was sitting in the living room, reading a Malayalam news paper.

“God will never forgive you for what you did to the boy” She cursed him.

Kurien sprang up from the seat. He grabbed a wooden chair that was closer to him and smashed it.
There was a thunderous noise as the chair made contact with the floor. Splinters flew across the room.

“De Thalle (vulgar term for lady), if you don’t behave properly, I will kill both of you,” he thundered.

“But why you hate him so much? What did he do?” She asked as she stood back, away from his reach as if she feared he would strangulate her.

“It is my broadmindedness that I am feeding him. The bastard. And you, despite knowing that I was coming, you let that creep continue there?” he said through clenched teeth.

“If you are his father, then you had to feed him and look after him.” She retorted.

“If I am the father. He is not mine” he spoke with hatred filled in his voice.

Ammachi was taken aback. She knew that he doubted his former wife and they quarreled about it, but she had never thought that his suspicion was this deep.

“If that is the case, you never touch him anymore. Otherwise I’ll call in all our relatives and neighbors.” She warned him.

“If I can feed him, I have the right to punish him” He was boiling in anger.

“No. You don’t give a penny to that boy, you dog. I have half of your father’s property in my name. He will live by that. If you touch him once more, I am going to call the police.”
With that she turned back.

Ajit never returned to college. He could not face Prof. Sathyapalan. After all he had let him down. And his friends must be aware about what happened there, he believed.

Ajit was full of hatred. He hated his father and prayed for his death. After a week or so, Nisha called up once.

“Aji, how can you stand this?” was her first query. From her voice it was apparent that she was going through some stress.

He did not answer. He was humiliated right in front of her. Yet nobody raised a voice. He was angry.

Then Nisha told him about Kurien’s threat and he understood.

The next thing that she said, though, completely put him off.

“Aji, I am calling you since Amma and Acha are not at home. I was warned by Acha not to call you or have any relationship with you.” She said in a voice that expressed her anxiety.

“Why?” Ajit was taken aback. He could not think of losing her.

“Acha said that he would never speak to your father, for what he said. I think Acha knows of our love. He said if Kurien uncle come to know about us, he would wreak havoc. Nowadays Acha locks the phone,” she said in one breath.

Ajit hated his father even more.

“Now what do you think?” He was resigned to his fate.

“I will never forget you. You are the only man in my life.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know Aji. I can’t defy Acha. I can’t forget you.”

“Nisha, please. I can’t live without you.”

“Do you think I can? But circumstances are like that. At least for sometime we have to go without seeing or speaking to each other.”

So, that’s it. It was that easy.

“So you are going to avoid me, huh?” Ajit asked with a scorn in his voice.

“I am not avoiding you. You are there in my heart. I’ll come with you when you find a good job and can stand on your own leg. Then, you call me, I’ll come with you without thinking twice. Okay? I have to go Aji, I am calling from a nearby telephone booth and Acha may return anytime now. Bye” She did not even wait for him to say bye.

Was that goodbye? Ajit wondered. Wasn’t it a few days only, when she said he was her life?
“It’s my fate. Everyone that I love has to depart from my life. First it was mother, whom he did not even have slightest memory of. Then his father. It was another thing that he ever loved him. Now Nisha.”

“I am forsaken”’ he thought. “Now I have nobody”

It was that then he started drinking. It had started on Christmas day. He was sitting at the bus stop, absent mindedly watching the people who were waiting for the bus. They all had places to go. He did not even like to go to Johny Uncle’s place. A group of local boys, with whom he was never acquainted because of their reputation of being outcasts and their drinking habits, were having a good time. It was apparent that they had a celebration. They were standing around a Maruti Omni van, which belonged to Reji, who was the leader of the group.

Reji spotted him and waved to him. He hailed from a good family, Kalathil, but because of his nefarious activities, he was looked down by the good boys like Ajit. Kalathil family has a long running feud with Mecheril and in the church they always in opposition to each other. Every decision supported by Mecheril family was routinely opposed by Kalathil family.

As Reji said something pointing to him, the group erupted in laughter. Ajit started to fume. He stood up, walked up to the group.

“What the hell was so funny?” He came close to Reji, pushed him on his chest. He was spoiling for a fight. He wanted to vent his anger somewhere.

The group stopped laughing. They closed in on him menacingly.

“Hey guys. Cool it. It’s between me and him” Reji called out.

“So you wanted to fight me, huh? Want to challenge Reji Kalathil?” He asked as they both looked each other in the eye.

Ajit glared at him, not saying anything.

“Hey man. It’s Christmas. Let’s not fight. If you want to prove something, challenge me in drinking. Can you do that?” The group once again erupted in laughter amidst, loud “Aye Aye.”

Ajit flinched. He never drank liquor.

“Oh. Look at him. He is the Mamma’s boy man. He can not do that.” One of the boys teased, raising a half-empty liquor bottle and waving it on his face.

Ajit did not know what drove him. He grabbed the bottle in his fist, opened it and poured a mouthful.

He gasped. It was burning. He could sense the liquid flowing down in his body. It was like molten wax flowing down his throat. He threw up.

“Hey, easy. First time it feels a little harsh. But it will be okay.” Reji said, winking to the others.

In a few minutes, Ajit was floating. He felt like he did not weigh at all. He got a third-person view of his own body. It was as if his eyes were hovering over him, watching him. It felt wonderful.

He had one more at the insistence of Reji. This time it was mixed with water and he drank it slowly. The taste was bitter, but he swallowed it. Within ten minutes, he was walking into the house, staggering. He straight away went to his room. He just wanted to lie down.

As he lied down, he felt something rushing in to his brain. It was like his body is being lifted from the bed, slowly and gradually. He felt the rush of blood into his brain. With a loud, awkward sound, he threw up on his bed.

The next day he woke, feeling famished. He remembered what he has done. His head sank in shame. Ammachi encountered him at the kitchen. She was furious and chastised him. She warned him that if he ever did that once again, he was out of the house.

Ajit was feeling exhausted. His head was pounding. He was thinking about the wonderful feeling he had yesterday after downing the drink. He slept well and for a change, there were no frightening dreams. It was as if all his worries had been washed away by the liquid. But he did not want to disappoint Ammachi and he promised himself that he will never drink.

Two days later, he had to appear for his driving license test. He had turned eighteen and was now eligible for it. So he got up early morning, and after breakfast he was ready to go.

“Where are you going, Mone?” Ammachi has forgiven him, but kept an eye on him. She did not want him to go astray.

“I told you Ammachi, I got a driving test today at Pathanamthitta R.T.O office.” The R.T.O (Regional Transport Officer) was the licensing authority.

“Ok. Take the car then,” she suggested.

“I would never, ever touch that man’s car,” he spat.

“Then how are you going to take the test without a vehicle?” She knew that much. For a license test, one needs to bring his own vehicle.

“I have spoken to a Driving school owner. If I pay him a five-hundred, he would let me take his vehicle.” He had arranged it over the phone, since he knew the man personally.

She gave him the money.

When he reached the driving school premises, bad news waited him. Last night one of the students rammed the car into a wall. It is in the workshop and would not be out until the next day.

Ajit cursed his luck. If he missed this chance, he had to wait for another month. Not that he has some urgency. But he was longing for it for many years. Since his education stopped abruptly, he did not know what to do. Even if he had to go for some technical studies, like I.T.I or diploma course he had to wait until the next academic year.

He was about to turn back home when a van stopped near to him. Reji poked his head out of the window and called out.

“Ajit, what are you doing here?”

“Nothing. Going home.” He was not feeling the same anguish towards him as he did before Christmas. Why should I? He reasoned. He hasn’t done any harm to me.

“No. Why are you in this driving school? I mean you know driving.” He knew Ajit drove the car since his early teenage years.

Ajit explained about the driving test and how he could not attend it.

“What are friends for, boy? Once we shared a drink, you have become one of us. Come, hop in. I’ll take you there” Reji offered.

Ajit thought about it for a minute. What the hell, I will just go with him, and once done I’ll pay him the five hundred as petrol cost and return home.

So he jumped into the van. He found two more boys sitting in the van.

“I hope I am not bothering you.” He said to everyone.

“Not at all. It would be our pleasure to help you. I mean, I know how much you have suffered”
Ajit’s plight was a well-known secret in his village.

During the journey, Ajit was a mute spectator to the boisterous behavior of the group. They passed lewd comments at girls, frightened the cyclists by swerving towards them and all the while laughing hysterically. Ajit was hoping that he is not making a mistake by travelling with them. Oh, this is another village, where no one knew who I am, he reasoned.

The test was successful since Ajit was an experienced driver. He took the “H” test, where he had to drive the vehicle forward, then in reverse, turning to left, and straighten then forward once again, completing the “H” shape. He did it with ease and was told that his license would be ready in two weeks.

As they were heading back, Ajit offered to pay Reji the amount he was supposed to pay the driving school guy. Reji sported a hurt look.

“Hey, are you putting a price tag on my goodwill?” he asked.

Ajit tried to explain. But he was cut short by one of the guys.

“If you insist paying, why don’t you buy some whiskey, so that we all can enjoy?”

There were murmurs of assent.

He thought of the promise he made. Then he told them that he would pay for it, but he won’t drink. They objected to this, but agreed later.

They parked on an empty road side, and Reji opened the dash and took out a glass. They started drinking from the same glass, one drank the liquid in a single gulp and passed it on to the next one who repeated the routine.

After a few pegs, Reji offered.

“Ajit, why don’t you just try one? See, it won’t be like last time. That was your first, huh?”
Ajit declined the offer. But the temptation was strong. He saw the golden brown liquid being poured into the glass, adding the water to make it a smooth looking liquid, and downed with one neat gulp. He felt the urge to take a drink.

“Ok. I will take one, just for your company,” he asked them, a little shy.

“There you are. See only men drink. Okay? You are a man now” Reji exclaimed.

Ajit took the glass in his hand. Just by holding it, he felt powerful. He was a man. A grown-up, strong, masculine man. He raised the glass to his lips, and drank half of it. It was smooth. He did not feel the bitterness at all this time.

Another round followed. By the time the glass reached Ajit, he was feeling a little light. A slight numbness. It felt wonderful.

He let them pour another one for him. And another one.

By the time they reached his house, he was full drunk. As he was climbing down from the Van, a few meters down from his gate, Reji reminded him.

“Once you get the license, I will give you a party. Okay? It’s on me. You give me call when you get the license.”

Forsaken - Chapter 25

2011-05-15T14:58:00.000+04:00

Chapter 25
Ajit heard a loud tap on the door. He wanted to sleep a little more. But the tap was ever louder and he heard someone calling his name. He opened his eyes with great effort. First he could not see anything. He squinted to make out the surroundings. Then everything came back to him. He was sitting in the car, waiting for Raju.

He saw the bulky frame of Raju tapping on the door. He did not have any idea how long it had been. He straightened. Suddenly he felt an excruciating pain in his abdomen. It was like somebody had pricked him with thousands of needles. He gasped in pain. He bit his lower lip and reached for the front door handle to open it.

Raju got in. As he sat the springs of the seat protested. It creaked under his weight. He has put on a lot of weight, Ajit thought. The long scar above his left eye, the souvenir of that train accident was still prominent, with its criss-cross stitch marks. Ajit turned the ignition. While it was revving up, he picked a soiled plastic bottle from underneath the dashboard, took two tablets from his pocket and swallowed it.

“What are they for?” Raju asked.

“Nothing. I am little tired and these are vitamin tablets.” Ajit replied. He did not see any reason why he should tell him.

“So where can we go?” Raju asked him.

“You said you wanted to go to Worli” Ajit looked at him quizzically.

“That will be after we had our little chat” Raju said in a terse voice.

Ajit nodded. He did not know why he wanted to talk. Why he can’t let him go? What is the use when both of them know it’s completely a waste of time?

Raju waited for some time for Ajit to say something. He just sat there, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. Finally Raju decided to break the silence.

“Can we go to this beach? A beach is a good place to do some reminiscence. As we see it in the films” Raju tried to lighten up the mood pointing to the shore that was some five hundred meters away.

Without answering Ajit put the vehicle in motion. He drove along the cost line and stopped at the Bandra Bandstand, a popular hangout for couples. There was a shelter at the bus stop close to the parked car. They got out and walked towards it. It was empty.

Raju sat down on the cement bench and motioned for him to sit. He sat at the edge of the bench.
“So Aji, how are you?” Raju started the conversation.

“What do you want to know?” Ajit wore a defiant look. He could not make himself do the small talk.

“Straight to the point, huh? I thought you would ask how Susan was doing.” Raju said with a smirk.

Ajit did not respond.

“Okay. At least you would want to know what happened to Ammachi?” Raju teased him.

For a moment Ajit thought of her. The soft, loving face, her white hair, and the perennial smell of Ayurvedic Kuzhambu. He expectantly looked at Raju, urging him to continue.

“She died the next year of your running away.” Raju said in a soft voice. He knew how close Ajit was to his grandmother. He expected a sob, at least a shock from him. Instead he sat there, like a statue. The only difference was the fluttering of hairs in the breeze that was coming from the sea. The breeze tasted like salt.

“And Johny, he passed away last year. Heart Attack.” Raju continued as there was no response from Ajit.

Now he saw the man shaking. He was biting his lower lip, as if to stifle a cry. When he turned to Raju, there was tears welled up in his eyes.

“How did Ammachi…..” He could not finish the sentence.

“After your running away, she was quite ill. Right before her death, a week before, she called me.” Raju said with a sad look in his eye.

“What did she say?” He wiped the tears.

“She wanted to see me. She said it is urgent. I went there with Susan and Nisha”

***********************

Raju could not believe his eyes. He remembered Aley Ammamma as a jovial, plump yet affable person. What he saw was the antithesis. She was frail, the eyes were puffy and there were bags under it. She was lying on the bed when they came.

They sat besides her bed. There was a strong smell of disinfectant in that room. On a small table near the bed, sat a dozen or so small bottles, with colored liquids in it.

Raju took her frail hand in his. It was cold.

“How are you, Aley Ammame?” he asked her.

She tried to sit down. He put his hands under her and helped her to get up. Susan propped up the pillows and she leaned on to it. Then she motioned Nisha to come close.

As she took her hand, she started sobbing. Nobody spoke for a long time. Once the sobs subdued, she started talking.

“Raju, you are like my son. I want you to do something for me.” She was speaking in a tired voice.

“What is it Ammamme?” Raju was ready to do anything to make her at ease.

She scanned all the three faces. When she talked, her voice was very calm. She fixed her gaze on Raju.

“I want you to know that half of the property here is in my name. I want you to transfer it to my boy’s name”

“Kurien? Why should I…” He could not think of why she wanted him to do it.

“No. Not Kurien. Ajit” As she spoke his name, her lips quivered.

Raju just nodded.

“Why I am doing this is, otherwise Kurien won’t give him a penny. Because,” She looked around to check anyone else listening “he thinks he is not his son”

Then Raju understood why Kurien was so cruel to him. So that was the issue. He heard about people suspecting their wives and doubting parentage, but he had never thought Kurien would do that.

“And my poor boy, even I forsook him. Had I been a little caring, he would not have run away. Now where is he?” She started to cry once again.

“Ammamme. There are so many incidents like this. Once they realized their mistake, they will come back. I know so many people who ran away from home and once money is over, have returned home” Raju tried to console her.

“You don’t know him, Raju. He is not that type. I don’t know if I can see him before I die”

Raju did not know what to say. He could not stand the situation. Since his parents died early, it was in her he found solace. He stood up to go. Then she pleaded once more.

“Raju, you will do it. Won’t you?”

“Ammamme, nothing will happen to you now. I’ll go now and come back after a week with the registrar. At that time we could do all the things. Okay?”

She meekly nodded. Once again she took Nisha’s hand in hers and caressed it.

“Study well Moley. Okay?”

From there they went to Johny’s house. After the pleasantries both the men moved under the big mango tree.

“I have been to Aley Ammamma’s house. She is in a very bad condition.” Raju started.

“Yeah. I know. I was there last week. She would not go to hospital” Johny said in an obvious melancholic mood.

“Why, I mean, it is more than one year now. Isn’t it?” Raju asked.

“From the time the boy is missing, she stopped taking her medicines. She could not sleep either. She stayed here for one month after that incident, I saw her plight. She was heartbroken.” Johny was thinking about the happy times.

“But why did he do it?” Raju asked. Johny thought for a moment. He was ashamed to tell the truth. But Raju must know. After all he is Nisha’s father and even for a short while, Johny thought of Ajit marrying Nisha.

“Raju, that scoundrel has done the nastiest thing in the world. He was caught from a prostitute’s house by the locals. They beat him and paraded him. That night he ran away.”

Raju was stunned. He could not imagine Ajit stooping to such low levels. He felt a thousand insects crawling over him. He only knew that the boy has run away and attributed it to Kurien’s attitude towards him.

“I can’t believe it! Ajit? How? I mean, he was not that type.” Raju was trying to find a correct word to express his anguish, same time trying to make his mind believe what was just been conveyed to him.

“Even I could not believe it. But it was true. The whole village came to know. The Mecheril family name has been tarnished” Johny spat.

“Did he talk to you after that incident? I mean you two were very close.” Raju hoped there must be some mistake.

“Nope. I came to know the next day, by then he was missing.”

Raju left the place with a heavy heart. While they were driving back, Raju narrated everything to Susan. He saw Nisha cringe when she heard about the reason of his running away. Her lips quivered and a drop ran down her cheek. Then she looked away, to the landscapes that were running backward.

**************************

As he was speaking about the visit to Ajit’s house, the anguish came back to Raju. He, to this date, had difficulty in believing the real reason behind Ajit’s running away. He looked at Ajit with contempt. Nasty son-of-a-bitch, he did not know how many lives he has spoiled. And here he is, driving a cab, in his torn, dirty uniform, living on the street. How could someone be so irresponsible? How he could cheat someone like Nisha?

Ajit was sitting in the same position. He was totally devastated. How many people suffered? Will he ever get peace? He shuddered.

“But I could never make it back to your house as I promised to her. Couple of days after my visit she died.” Raju concluded.

He saw a tear drop from his eyes. Well, cry you idiot. You deserve it.

Some time passed in silence. Then Ajit asked him.

“Johny uncle hated me. Did he not?”

“Who did not?” Raju retorted.

“Why did you do it? Were you so horny?” Raju let his contempt show in his voice.

Ajit cringed. He could not answer. He would never believe it.

“I think I have to go.” Ajit stood up as he spoke.

“You are not going anywhere without giving me an answer. All these years, how many times I wished that I could meet you. You spoiled Nisha’s life.” Raju was all worked up.

“No. I did not. You did” Ajit burst out. He has had enough. All his life, he was taking blame for things that he did not do.

“What? I did?” Raju let out a smirk.

“Yes. It was you who forbade Nisha from talking to me” Ajit looked at him accusingly.

“Yes, after that incident with your father at my house, I did not see that it was appropriate. I was mad at your father.” Raju conceded.

“Did you ever think how much it hurt me? How much it hurt Nisha?” He asked with all the pain in his voice.

“You mean to say, because of that you went to that prostitute?” Raju let a hollow laugh out.
Ajit thought for a minute. He knew he had come to a point of no return. If he did not tell him the truth, there would never be another chance. It’s of no use, he told himself, but at least I could die knowing that one person knew the truth. But not here. His hands were trembling. He needed drink very badly.

“Raju uncle,” he started in a strained voice, “I will tell you the truth. But I need a drink. There is a small bar around the corner. If you would like to hear my side of the story, come with me.” He started walking towards the car. He heard Raju mumbling something and walking right behind him.

Forsaken - Chapter 24

2011-05-15T14:55:00.000+04:00

Chapter 24
As he walked into the living room, dreadful of what is coming, he saw an unexpected sight. His father was sitting on the couch. Raju was sitting opposite to him. There was tension in the air.

No one spoke as he entered the room.

“Ah, Mr. Kapil Dev has come” Kurien scorned as he came to view.

Nobody spoke. He saw Susan Aunty was standing at the door to the kitchen, Nisha right behind her. Their eyes met for a brief second. He could not decipher the look. Was it angry or pity? Or just plain fear?

He stood there, frozen in his tracks. He did not know what to do.

“Where were you?” Kurien asked in a harsh voice.

Ajit tried to answer, but nothing came out.

“Can’t you hear me? You bastard!” Kurien snapped.

Ajit jerked. His legs weakened. He looked pleadingly at Raju who just averted his gaze.

“I went to play cricket.” Ajit stuttered.

“I did warn you not to waste time on things that is of no use, did I not?” Kurien stood up.

“But I was playing for my college. My professor is here.” Somehow he managed.

Ajit did not know what happened. He saw Kurien standing up and before he could finish his sentence, there was a sound. His left ear suddenly went quit. He got a taste of blood in his mouth. It was then he realized that his father has hit him across his face.

He heard someone gasping. And a sob. His head was spinning. There was only a buzz in his head. He heard voices, but that was from a long distance. Something was yanked off his shoulder. He realized it was his kit. He heard Raju shouting from far, far away.

“Kurien, this is my house. You are not going to do it here.”

“Shut the hell up. Who you are? His father?” He heard his father’s raspy voice yelling at Raju.
He saw a figure moving in front of him. He stood there paralyzed. He got hold of a chair nearby to steady himself. He wet his lips with his tongue and he felt the taste of blood. Something was running down his chin, some thick fluid. He wiped it with his hand.

Somebody held his hand. From the touch he sensed it was Nisha. He thought he was going to buckle.

He could see the face of Nisha, but it was faded. It was faded at the edges and gave him a feeling that the contours of her face was changing every second. As if smoke changing shape in a breeze. He shook his head to clear the vision. She stretched her hands to wipe the blood from his chin. That was the last visual he had about Nisha. He was yanked away from her, by his father and being thrown into the back seat. As he was being dragged into the car, he saw his kit burning in the porch.

As Kurien started the car, Ajit heard the voice of Raju Uncle pleading with him.

“Kurien, Please. He has a brilliant future in cricket. Don’t spoil it”

“Raju, stay out of this. I am sending him to college to study. Not to waste my money like this.
The little bastard is having a good time when I am sweating it out in the desert,” he spat.

“You will repent for this Kurien. You will repent.” He heard Raju’s voice.

“Okay. I won’t come to your door asking for help.” Kurien spoke with disgust.

“I once thought you are my friend. Never again. You are sick man. You are sick” Raju said with contempt.

Kurien started the car and drove away. In the back seat Ajit turned to see a disheveled Raju looking on unbelievingly.

Forsaken - Chapter 23

2011-05-15T14:53:00.000+04:00

Chapter 23
Nisha was sitting upright on the bed, wrapped in the bed sheets. She just sat there, thinking of what had happened just moments before. At first she thought she would die. The most valuable thing a girl had was spoiled. Her body had been violated. It made no difference that the perpetrator was the man she loved. Before marriage, it was never supposed to happen. It was a sin.

She knew she had only herself to blame. She was allowing him to get close physically. She gave him the freedom. She should have gone to her mother when she came back from school. And while it was happening, why did not she scream? That would have made him come back to his senses. She has to admit that she did enjoy it. Her resistance was feeble. It was like a shadow-fight where both of them knew of the outcome. Now another thought frightened her. What if something happened? What if she got pregnant? On this thought she broke down and started crying.

Ajit was sitting on the couch in the living room, his head cradled in his hands. He knew he has committed a grave crime. He could not look at Nisha. May be this was the last time he would ever see her. She was going to tell her mom and the consequences frightened him. What would happen now? What should he do?

“Why, oh why did I do it?” he cursed himself for spoiling everything; he cursed Vinod for provoking him with dirty thoughts. He cursed his life.

He did not have the courage to face Nisha. He knew he had taken advantage of her situation. The pure, angelic love had been spoiled. It has become dirty and earthly. Had I not gone into her room, had I not massaged her, had I not listened to Vinod, this would not have happened.

He was taken aback when he heard loud sobs from her room. Now a new fear enveloped him. What if Nisha commit suicide? He has heard about such incidence. He jumped up from the seat and ran towards the room. He saw her in sitting position, head resting on her knees and her body shaking. He slowly walked towards her and touched her on the shoulder.

Nisha recoiled. She raised her head. Her eyes were bloodshot. Streams of tears ran down her cheeks. Her beautiful hair was in total disarray. She looked pathetic.

“Nisha I am sorry.” Ajit blurted out.

Her body shook vigorously as another wave of grief hit her. Ajit stood there not knowing what to do.

The sobbing subdued a little.

“Nisha, I don’t know what to say except I am sorry” Ajit once again tried. He was gripped by the fear that Susan would turn up any moment.

“It was my fault.” Nisha finally spoke. When she did, there was certain calmness in her voice.

“No. It was entirely my fault. I took advantage of the situation. Please forgive me” Ajit was on the verge of crying.

“Anyway whatever happened happened. I lost something that is irreversible.” She was calm now.

Ajit stood there, his hand still resting on her shoulder.

“if Amma or Acha come to know what happened, everything is finished. But I tell you one thing.
If something goes wrong, I’ll end my life.” There was an eerie calmness that troubled him.

“Please don’t say that. I will die with you.” He was solemn.

“Aji, I loved you with my heart. Please don’t ever leave me,” she pleaded.

“Leaving you? I would give my life for you. Please forgive me” Ajit was relieved a bit.

That instant the phone rang. Ajit looked at her expectantly. Since she wasn’t moving, he went out to attend the call.

It was Susan and she had bad news.

He came back to break the news to her. Contrary to his expectation, she did not start another round of crying. She stood up, the bed sheet still wrapped around her and walked into the bathroom.

Within five minutes they were on their way to hospital. They rode silently. Remarkably for Nisha, she recovered well from the shock. She was thinking fast.

“Aji, If Amma or Acha asks why I look like this, tell them I had a bad headache and came back from school early. Okay?” She asked him from behind.

He just nodded.

“One more thing, now I can not think of a man except you. If you ever try to leave me, I will end my life. This is not just a threat. I will do it” From her tone, he knew she was determined.
“Nisha, I am promising you. I will never, ever even think about leaving you.” He promised.
Once in the hospital, Susan asked the question Nisha was expecting. She gave the exact version she told Ajit. The matter was settled there since Susan was more concerned about Raju’s health. They agreed that Ajit should go back since he had a match next day. But he was adamant, that he would not go back. Raju and Susan took it for his love towards Raju, but Ajit was scared about Nisha revealing the facts to her mother. Susan tried her best to persuade Ajit, but he stood his ground. So it was decided that they all stay in the hospital room. Nisha has the presence of mind to bring some bed sheets and a change of dress for her mother with her so they spread the sheets on the floor and slept there.

Ajit got up early, went to the house. Susan gave him elaborate descriptions about the directions with landmarks. He reached home, showered and went to the ground.

The match was a tight one. The opponents gave a tough fight. It all came down to the last ball of the match and with a little luck Ajit’s team won the match. There were delirious celebrations on the ground and off it too. Ajit took part in the post-match meeting and left.

As he approached the house, he saw a frightening sight. His father’s Maruti 800 parked near the gate. A foreboding feeling descended upon him. Nisha had informed her parents and Ammachi must have come to take him. With trembling hands he rode into the gate and to the impending disaster that is waiting for him at the house.

Forsaken - Chapter 22

2011-05-15T14:51:00.000+04:00

Chapter 22
Susan was about to leave for home when it started to drizzle. There was not a single cloud ten minutes earlier. All of a sudden the climate changed with gusty winds blowing across. The plastic carry bags that were littering the sidewalks flew around and the dust swirled up. That’s when the phone rang.

“Hello.” Susan answered the call.

“Susan, it’s me.” She heard her husband’s voice at the other end.

“Where are you? Have you reached the station?” She was relieved. Once he was there, she did not have to come to the shop very often.

“I am calling from Dr. Krishnan’s hospital,” he said.

“Hospital? Why? Are you all right?” She was alarmed.

“Hey, don’t get upset. I am all right.” He tried in a soothing voice.

She waited for him to go on.

“Susan, as I was getting out of the train, I fell down on to the platform,” he explained.

For a minute Susan’s throat went dry. Fell from the train? Her hand shivered. She took a firm grip on the phone otherwise, she feared, it would slip from her hand.

“Susan?” He was worried how she would take the news. Now there is no response.

“I am coming over. Is there anything serious?” She found herself shaking and on the verge of crying. The staff were watching her.

“Hey, nothing serious. I just lost some paint,” he tried to joke.

“I’ll be there in a moment. Okay?” She hung up the phone.

She frantically searched for a rickshaw. When needed, none of them were around. She cursed under her breath. Finally she managed to get one. As soon as she got into it, it started to pour.

Dr. Krishnan’s Clinic was some fifteen minutes drive from the shop. As they reached the hospital, she paid the driver, and not waiting for the change, ran into the hospital. She did not know where to go.

“Do you know where is Mr. Jacob Thottumkal admitted?” She asked a young man who was manning the front reception.

He looked up from behind the glass partition. Then he checked the list and gave her the room number.

Susan was running. She took two stairs at a time. As she reached the second floor, she was panting. She found room number thirty-eight, and opened the door.
Raju was lying on a bed, his hands were bandaged. And there was a heavy bandage right above his left eyebrow.

She sat besides him and took his hand into hers. She started sobbing.

“Don’t. I am all right Susan.” Raju tried to console her.

“How many times did I tell you to be careful when boarding and getting down from a train?” She managed through sobs.

“I am sorry. But there is nothing serious. No fracture, nothing. It’s just a bruise on the hand. I fell on to my left side.”

“What is it on your face?” She wiped her eyes.

“I just hit a trolley on the platform. It is a deep cut. That’s it.” He ran his right hand over it.

“Oh my God. How deep? I mean is it really serious?” She started sobbing again.

“No. No. It’s just four stitches,” he said casually.

“Four stitches? My God!” She exclaimed.

“See Susan, this hospital is really good. I insisted on coming here just to be sure. They have done a scanning and there is nothing wrong. Just to make sure they put me on observation.
Otherwise I could have gone home.” He said in a soothing voice. He understood her anxiety. A blow to the head could be lethal. In fact it was really a miracle he survived the fall without any major damage. He was jumping out from the running train to exit before the station got crowded.

Suddenly Susan remembered.

“Nisha must have come back. I should call her. Ajit can bring her here”

“Call from the nurse’s station. I called you from there.”

She gave the number to one of the nurses. Ajit answered the call after some time.

“Hello”

“Aji, Monay, this is Susan Aunty.” She spoke into the mouthpiece.

“Yes Aunty?”

“Monay Raju Uncle had an accident. Nothing serious. You take Nisha and come over immediately”

“Where Aunty?” he queried.

“Dr. Krishnan’s Clinic. Nisha knows it” She gave the address and land marks, just to be sure.

“Ok Aunty. I’ll come over at once.” He disconnected the line.

Forsaken - Chapter 21

2011-05-15T14:48:00.000+04:00

Chapter 21
He woke up to the shrill jangling of Nisha’s alarm clock. It was five thirty. He felt like sleeping a little more, but the thought of practice woke him up. As he came into the living room, he saw light in the kitchen. He walked over there to find Susan in the kitchen.

“Ah, Monay, I was thinking about waking you up” she said as she poured him a cup of black, steaming coffee.

“Nisha is still asleep?” he asked her as he took the sip.

“She is a lazy girl. Never gets up before six.” Susan replied.

“But I have to go to the ground before six thirty.” he said with a little anxiety.

“No problem. You go and wake her up” Susan replied as she turned the dosa that she was preparing, upside down.

He went to the room to find Nisha sleeping on her side. One hand was folded under her head, and the other rested on the pillow which was laid to her side. He watched her sleeping. In her sleep, she looked like an angel, he thought. The rising and falling of her chest was rhythmic.
He shook her by the shoulder and called out her name. After a couple of attempts, she protested.

“What is this? Let me sleep, Amma”

“It’s not Amma. It’s me. Look” Ajit said in a low voice.

She opened her eyes, looked at him. Then giving him a smile, she sat upright.

“Isn’t it a bit too early, Aji?” she complained as she yawned.

“No. I had to leave by six ten,” he replied.

Reluctantly she climbed down from the cot and marched into the bathroom.

Ajit ate a couple of dosas on Susan’s insistence. He was not used to having breakfast this early. But Susan said the hotels were not that good and it was not a good idea to eat outside when you had something important lined up.

Susan gave the key of Raju’s bike, the Yamaha RX100. Susan told him to ride carefully and drop Nisha at her tuition class. He agreed and started the bike.

He learned riding bikes in college. Few of his friends had bikes, Yezdis, Bullets and RX100s. Now he was showing off his skills in riding. He opened the throttle to the maximum and the bike started to pick up speed.

“Aji, go slow. I am scared.” Nisha called out from behind.

He took both the hands from the handle. Nisha was terrified.

“Aji, if you don’t stop this nonsense, I’ll scream,” she warned him.

“Hey don’t worry. I know riding very well.” He put the hands back on and once again the bike started to gain speed.

“Aji, monay, Please. Slow down,” she pleaded.

Ajit pretend he did not hear it. The streets were empty except for a few people jogging on the sidewalk. He approached a junction and not knowing where to go, he slowed down for Nisha to guide him.

“Which way, Nisha?” he called out.

“Turn left” she said in a stony voice.

He took the left and after a few more turns Nisha asked him to the stop the bike.

She got down. Her face was clouded.

“Why, what happened?” He enquired.

“You go straight, take the second right and go straight. You can’t miss the college. It is on your left side.” She started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” he questioned.

“I can walk from here to my tuition center,” she replied.

“Come on. I’ll drop you there” He was confused.

“Not required. If I travel with you this way, we may not reach there alive,” she retorted.
So that was the issue.

“Ok. I’ll go slow,” he conceded.

“You carry on. I am not coming with you. You don’t pay any attention to my words” She was still shivering from the experience. She walked off to his left, without saying anything more, leaving a bemused Ajit behind.

He toyed with the idea of going after her and then thought the better of it.

He reached the ground when they already started warming up. Prof. Sathyapalan was there giving instructions to the boys. He joined in and started practicing earnestly. Vinod, his close friend in the team, came up to him.

“How was yesterday?” he asked in a mischievous tone. He knew about Nisha. Ajit has told him during the journey.

“Nothing man. I slept early.” Ajit replied.

“She is a beauty. You are lucky.”

Ajit just smiled.

“Ajit, the seniors are plotting something,” Vinod said in a cautionary voice.

“What?” Ajit was worried. He knew the undercurrents within the team related to the captaincy issue.

“I heard them speaking about losing the match. Don’t play well is what Suresh said to his cronies” Suresh was the captain last year. He was removed from it after a string of defeats against lesser known college teams.

“Damn it! How can they do it in such an important tournament?” Ajit cursed under his breath.
Vinod glanced towards the professor who was throwing balls to a group of boys as fielding practice.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to tell Sir?” he asked Ajit.

“No. Wait. Let’s see. Anyway, I’ll ask Sir about the playing eleven. Then I may tell him.” Ajit said while busy calculating the different manipulations.

The match started at eight thirty. Ajit lost the toss and was put into bat. Despite the information Vinod gave him, the match was going smoothly. They have scored a healthy forty-two runs from ten overs with just two wickets down. Suresh was batting at one end and the new batsman was one of his friends.

That was when all things started going wrong. They pushed at the simplest of deliveries, played right into the hands of the fielders. The ploy was clear. Score at a snail’s pace.

Prof. Sathyapalan was clearly agitated. He waved from the sideline to attract their attention, but they did not even look towards him. They were busy shadow-batting, or removing some pebbles from the pitch.

By the fifteenth over, the score read a paltry forty-seven. Five runs from five overs. Ajit knew he has to do something. He walked over to the professor, who was clearly in a foul mood.

He explained what Vinod told him in the morning. The professor’s face went dark.

“Why did not you tell me this in the morning?” he screamed at him.

“Sir, I thought they won’t do it since this is an important match” He was taken aback.

He mumbled something which was clearly some profanity. Both knew they are helpless in this situation. Unless one of the players got out.

After a few minutes, Professor called up Ajit.

“If any one of them gets out, you are next. Okay? Go, hit as many runs as possible,” he exhorted.

“Yes sir” Ajit was already padded up.

It was not until the seventeenth over, that Suresh’s wicket went down. He scooped a full length delivery to the waiting hands of the cover fielder. But the damage was already done. With fifty-eight runs on the board, it was a lost match.

Ajit went in to bat. He was on the striker’s end since the other guy did not try to run while the ball was up in the air. Three balls left in that over.

The bowler was a tall fellow. As he was watching from the sidelines, Ajit saw that the bowler got a good bounce from the pitch. As the new batsman, he would probably try to bounce me out, Ajit guessed. He took guard on the leg stumps.

Ajit looked around to see the field formation. The offside has four men in catching positions. Keeper was standing back. No short-cover or gully. Good.

As expected, it was a bouncer on the off. Ajit judged the bounce and left it alone. The bowler came up to him in his follow through and sneered at him.

The next ball Ajit scored one run. The non-striker, Suresh’s crony, was reluctant to run. But if he did not run, either he would be run-out or Ajit would. Getting Ajit run-out may achieve the goal they planned, but it will be too obvious that had they played to loose. That could result in their removal from the squad. So he ran for one run.

Ajit was determined not to run single off the last delivery. That would give the other guy strike. He sure was going to waste the next over. So he stood his ground, when the other man pushed the ball into the gap and called for a run.

As the fielders were changing positions, Ajit saw Nisha. She was walking into the pavilion. She sat at the front row and as he watched her, she waved at him. Since it was an important match, the school gave off during the match.

Ajit felt a rush of adrenalin. This is the moment. He has to show her his prowess in this. He looked at her once more, gave a smile and got ready to bat.

The first two balls he drove to the boundary. There was sporadic applause. The next ball he hoisted over the mid-wicket for a huge, towering six. The ball landed in the pavilion.
He saw Professor and Nisha both were standing and cheering. He felt like king.

The next ball he drove the ball to the gap and took off. Only through half-way, he saw his partner turning back.

Damn it! He is going to get me out. He thought frantically. There is no time to run back.
He shouted to the guy.

“Run Gopi, Run.”

A scornful smile spread across his face as he stood there on his crease. Ajit already reached the non-striker end. What happened next was unbelievable. The fielder, who collected the ball, saw Ajit running and threw the ball to the keeper. It missed him by a mile. No back-up was there. The ball rolled to the boundary for a four.

Ajit heaved a sigh of relief. He got one life. It was a clear run-out had the ball struck the stumps, or the keeper collected it. Gopi still stood there, the smile replaced by a frown. Ajit walked up to him.

“What the hell were you doing?” he spat.

“You don’t teach me when to run, okay? I am your senior,” he retorted.

“Hell with you. Sathyapalan Sir already knows about your plans. The one you concocted with your wily friend, Suresh.” Ajit hissed at him.

An expression of alarm crossed Gopi’s face. Then he shrugged it off.

Last ball Ajit scored one run to retain his strike. This time, thinking about the consequences, Gopi complied and ran.

At the end of their innings the total read eighty-four runs.

During the break Prof. Sathyapalan gave Suresh a dressing down. He warned him that if he tried any tricks in the field, he could be sure of sitting on the bench for the remainder of the tournament. Or for any matches that was going to come after it.

Ajit placed his field in an attacking manner. The bowlers responded to it and bowled in a tight line. Ajit opened the bowling and bowled two overs in tandem with Vinod. Once they completed their first spell, it was fourteen runs without a wicket.

Ajit sensed the match slipping away. He was aware about the opposition’s tactic. Play it safe in the first half and blast through the second. He knew that if they loose this match, they would be returning home, the same evening. No more seeing Nisha.

He rotated his bowlers, placed fielders in catching positions but no wickets. After the halfway mark, N.S.S College was sitting pretty with fifty-two runs without a wicket.

Eleventh over. Ajit took the ball. While he was marking the run-up, he thought of the long wait to see Nisha. After this, there may not be another chance for long. I want to win this, he said to himself. It was apparent that the batsmen are not going to play areal shots. He re-arranged the field packing the offside. He placed Vinod in the first-slip. They had a talk during the break of previous over. Ajit had a plan.

Ajit started his run up. As he was closing in to the crease, he saw the batsman moving towards his leg to make room. In the delivery stride, Ajit changed his pace and bowled a slow delivery that swung in. The batsman heaved, missed the line completely, edging the ball in the process. The ball ballooned in the air.

For a second, Ajit’s heart stopped beating. He saw the ball going up. He thought it is being hit for a six. Then he saw it right above him. It was coming down. Somebody screamed “Catch it.”
The ball safely landed in his outstretched open palm. One wicket down.

The team crowded around him, high-fiving each other as they see it on television.

The next batsman was a short guy, and Ajit decided to give him a yorker. He steamed in with all the power he could muster and banged in a full length delivery. His intended yorker turned out to be a full length one. It landed right in front of the batsman.

The batsman tried to drive the ball. It took the outside edge and travelled to the first slip. Vinod gleefully accepted the offering. Two wickets down. There was even bigger celebration this time.
The rest of the over was completed without a single run scored. They were back in the match!
Wickets started to fall and by the eighteenth over they folded up with seventy-two runs. Ajit was elated. Not only had he saved his team, but his stay has been extended by two days. He saw Nisha standing the gallery, clapping. The coach came over and hugged him.

During dinner, Nisha was talkative and explained her mother how Ajit single-handedly won the match for his team. He tried to be humble, saying it was others who took most of the wickets.

“When is the next match, Aji?” Susan asked.

“Day after tomorrow,” he replied.

“I think Raju Achayan will return by tomorrow evening. If it is possible we will come to watch,” she said.

Ajit went to the practice early next morning, and returned home by ten ‘o clock. Susan was ready to go to the shop and explained him where things were. She had prepared break fast and lunch.

Ajit wandered around the house feeling lonely. Then he thought of calling Ammachi.

“Hello, Ammachi,” he said in a cheerful voice.

“Monay, is it you?” she was anxious.

He explained how he won the match and how good Nisha’s mom was towards him. Ammachi asked him to finish the tournament and return as soon as possible. He sensed a tension in her voice.

“Is everything all right Ammachi?” He was concerned.

“It’s okay. Nothing to worry. But come back soon.” Then she hung up.

Ajit put the phone back into its cradle. He was thoughtful. He was sure there was an edge to Ammachi’s voice. Was she ill? Or was there some kind of problem? He was worried. He thought of calling back, but decided against it. If there was something he needed to know, she would have told him. He brushed away the thoughts and turned his mind to Nisha.

During the journey to Trivandrum he told Vinod about Nisha. He was his best friend and confidant. He told him about the night at Johny uncle’s house. He told him about their childhood days. After all Vinod was the more experienced one in this matter. He had many girlfriends.

“So now you are going to stay at her house?” was his first question.

“Yes,” he said sheepishly.

“Have you touched her?” He was sporting a devilish smile.

Ajit’s face reddened. He knew what his friend meant by “touch.”

“Come on. I can’t do that. I can’t think of her that way” he protested.

Vinod let out a delirious laugh, As if he heard the best joke of the year.

“You fool. Are you going to marry her?” he asked.

“Of course I am” Ajit retorted.

“Are you going to do it then?”

Ajit did not respond. He did not like someone say those things about Nisha.

“Ok Kiddo, you have to understand it. If you love her, she is all yours. Be intimate. Touch her, fondle her and if possible…” his voice trailed off in a suggestive manner.

Ajit tried to think of it. He and Nisha. Somehow the thought was disgusting. But at the same time it was arousing. He liked to believe that his love was very pure. Very divine. Somehow sex did not really fit into the scheme of things.

Ajit left the subject at that. Now being alone, he thought about Nisha. He knew his feelings had taken a new dimension after that talk with Vinod. Even when he came to the house and they embraced, he was aroused.

He ate the lunch Susan Aunty prepared. He did not feel like eating since he was not used to eating alone. He tried to watch television, a small black and white set and got bored very soon. Doordarshan-Hindi was the only channel available and they did not have anything interesting.

It was three ‘o clock when the he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door to find Nisha standing there.

“Hey, How come you are back so early?” He was surprised to see her. Usually she would return home before four o’clock.

“I wasn’t feeling well. I have a head ache,” she sounded tired.

“Oh.” He let her in.

She went directly to her parent’s room and lay down on the cot. Ajit followed her.

“Shall I apply some balm on your forehead?” He asked in a concerned voice. He touched her
forehead and it was warm. Then he remembered the talk at the church when she was having her period.

“Hey, you have temperature. I think you have fever, or is it the other thing?” He was sporting an impish grin.

Nisha’s lips parted in a smile as she tried to spank him. He evaded it.

“No. It’s okay. Give the Vicks bottle. It’s in the side table, second drawer”

He took the small bottle from it and scooped some balm on to his finger. Then he gently applied it on her forehead and front neck. Her skin was smooth. He kept massaging her on the forehead.

“Feeling better?” he asked after a few minutes passed in silence.

“Um” she replied without opening her eyes.

“If you are not feeling good, Shall I call Aunty?”

“No. You just sit here with me. Just keep doing the massage,” she said in a soft voice.

She dozed off. The gentle caress of his hands had a soothing effect. She was not feeling too well since morning. She thought of skipping the afternoon session of school, but dragged herself on. By two ‘o clock the pounding was unbearable. So she informed the teacher and came straight to home.

Normally she would have gone to the hardware shop since her mom would be there. But then the thought of Ajit at home drove her there. She was little apprehensive about what her mother would think, but being together since childhood, her parents had never suspected them. In their eyes they were still kids.

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but whenever he touched her, she was experiencing a strange feeling. Her heart jumped with joy. Her whole body erupted in a shock wave. She just wanted to experience that feeling. She never thought that he would act indecently.

So when she sensed that somebody was lying besides her, she thought it was her mom. She had no idea how long she had slept, or slept at all. She put her hands around her mom, and snuggled closer. That was when she realized it was not her mom. The softness was not there.

She sprang open her eyes to see Ajit. His face was very close to hers. His breath came in rapid hisses and was hitting her on the face. His hands were under her blouse and were caressing her back.

Nisha recoiled. Her whole body went rigid. Then the reality hit her hard.

She tried to push him away. But he was too strong for her. He kissed her while embraced her in a vice-like grip. She could not fight him.

“Aji, please let go off.” She tried hard to get away from him.

“Nisha, we love each other. Then why?” His touch was very hot. His face was like a pan radiating heat.

“This is wrong. I love you but this is wrong.” She got one of her hands free and tried to push him away.

The fight did not last long. She knew she was succumbing to the lust. He planted an affectionate, long kiss on her lips. She felt her whole body weaken.

“Aji, please don’t do this.” She pleaded in a weak voice.

He wasn’t listening to anything. For him, she was all his. There was nothing wrong in what he is doing. Nisha’s pleas fell on deaf ears. He was blinded by lust.

Outside it started to pour down.

Forsaken - Chapter 20

2011-05-15T14:43:00.000+04:00

Chapter 20
Ajit scanned the crowd at Trivandrum Central railway station. During the journey, he told Prof. Sathyapalan regarding his intentions about staying at Raju Uncle’s home. Initially the Professor did not agree, but after a lot of pleading and a promise that he would be present at the ground before 6:30 AM everyday for practice, he conceded. Now since they were there, his heart started to beat furiously. He was thinking about this reunion with her, for long now.

“Ok boys. Let’s move.” Professor called out to the group.

Ajit’s heart began to sink. Maybe she wouldn’t come after all. May be she was ill. Or Raju must have had second thoughts and prevented her from coming over here to pick him up.

He thought about calling her up from a near by telephone booth, but decided otherwise. She must have left the house already. I can’t hold up the group anymore, he thought with a heavy heart. He heaved up his cricket kit on to the shoulder and started walking with the group.

That’s when he saw her. As usual she was wearing a long frilled skirt and a matching blouse. His heart jumped.

“Nisha,” he called out with all his excitement. She was coming in from the main exit and was searching the crowd. She was panting like as though she had been running.

They came face to face. It took a lot of effort not to embrace her. He touched her hand.

“Sir, this is Raju Uncle’s daughter Nisha. Nisha this is our coach Prof. Sathyapalan.” He made introductions.

He was aware of the group ogling at her. He felt like punching them. He wanted to get away from here.

“Okay, Sir. I’ll go with her now,” he stated to Professor.

“Okay, but remember, six thirty in the morning, college ground,” the Professor reminded him.

“Sure Sir.” He left the group, Nisha in tow.

They got an auto rickshaw from outside the station. He put his heavy kit into the seat and let Nisha get in.

“How are you?” finally he asked.

Nisha was sitting very close to him since most of the space was taken up by the cricket kit. He could smell her perfume. Her shampooed hair flapped around her face and some strands hit his face.

“I am okay? You?” she asked in that soft, nasal tone.

He took her hand in his, gave it a squeeze. She withdrew her hand immediately and pointed towards the rickshaw driver with her face.

Both sat there, looking at each other.

“You look thinner” Nisha broke the silence.

“You are not fatter either,” he retorted.

“You don’t know how much I wanted to see you,” she said in a hushed tone.

“You are telling me? I could not sleep or concentrate in anything. I was thinking about you all the while” His voice was filled with love.

She tossed off her inhibitions out of the window and sat little closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Automatically his hands enveloped her. They did not talk much. It was like telepathy. Both knew what the other was thinking. They were letting their hearts feel the proximity of each other.

As they were approaching her house, she moved away and gave the driver instructions at junctions. She asked him to stop the vehicle in front of a black painted gate. They got out and paid the driver. She opened the door with a key.

“Where is Susan Aunty?” he asked her.

“She is at the shop. Since Acha is not in town, she looks after the shop,” she answered as she opened the door.

The house was a small one, consisting of two bed rooms, and a living room and a kitchen. A small compound was adorned by a plethora of plants and Raju’s Ambassador and his beloved bike, the Yamaha RX100 were resting in the porch.

“Not coming in?” she teased him.

He walked in. The next moment they were locked in a fierce embrace. All the pent-up emotion had burst.

They stood like that way for some time. Then freeing one arm, he raised her face and kissed her for what was like an eternity.

Some moments passed and they became aware about the surrounding. She withdrew from him. Her face was flushed deep. She did not dare look him in the eye.

“Amma will come any moment,” she cautioned him as she moved away from him.

She showed him her room, which was readied for him. She said she would sleep in Amma’s room since Raju was away.

As they were sitting in the sit-out and chatting Susan came. She was genuinely happy to see the boy and inquired about the health of Ammachi and about his tournament.

“Do well Monay.” she wished him sincerely.

After dinner, he went in to the room. Lying there on Nisha’s bed, he felt a faint waft of her perfume in the room.

For the life of me, I want you Nisha. I will never leave you. He promised himself as he closed his eyes.

Forsaken - Chapter 19

2011-05-15T14:41:00.000+04:00

Chapter 19
Ajit found the days very long. He lost interest in everything. He waited for 7:30 PM everyday, the usual time he could call Nisha. They had agreed upon the timing since that is the time, Susan would be busy in the kitchen. Raju usually would be home by 8:00 PM. Ajit had lost his appetite and Ammachi noticed it.

“Why you are not eating anything Aji? Are you all right?” She asked seeing the boy nibbling at his dinner.

“Nothing Ammachi. I am eating.” Then he would force himself to eat something.

The only consolation was the evening cricket practice. They were practicing hard for the upcoming inter-collegiate cricket tournament and Prof. Sathyapalan, the coach, was stressing the importance of it. St. Thomas College never won the trophy. This time he was determined that he and his boys will rewrite history.

Ajit was the captain. There were some players in the team who could not digest it. Normally the captaincy was reserved for the degree students. But Ajit was an extremely talented boy and Prof. Sathyapalan recognized it. He was sure that Ajit would come back to the college for his higher studies and he had a bright future in cricket.

After the practice, Ajit was changing into regular cloth, when Prof. Sathyapalan came up to him.

“Ajit, you are not concentrating on the game,” he complained.

“No Sir. I am trying my level best,” he said with a flaccid expression.

“I have been watching you over the past few days. You seem lost. What is the matter?” He was determined to address the problem, if there was any, since his hopes of winning the tournament largely depended on this boy.

“Nothing, Sir. It’s just that I could not concentrate. I don’t know why.” He lied. He knew only too well what was bothering him. He wanted to be with Nisha.

“See, our fortunes largely depends on you. You have to understand that” the Professor said in a calm voice.

Ajit kept quiet.

“I made you captain on my own initiative. Don’t let me down” the Professor continued.

“I’ll do my best sir.” Ajit mumbled. He was feeling guilty. He knew about the split in the team since the seniors did not like his being captain. But since the Professor was adamant, they could not do much about it without risking their place in the team.

The Professor talked about the virtues of being mentally tough, to excel in whatever one does and facing the adversity. Ajit half-heartedly listened to his pep-talk. He promised he would concentrate on the game.

As they were leaving the changing room, the Professor announced the news to him.

“Our tournament schedule has arrived. It starts next month.”

“Oh. “ Ajit was less enthusiastic now.

“We play N.S.S College, Changanachery in the Quarter finals.” He referred to a card from his pocket and declared.

N.S.S was last year’s runner up.

“It will be tough match, I guess,” Ajit said meekly.

“Tough they are, but not unbeatable” the Professor exclaimed.

“Where is the match, Sir? Their college ground?” Ajit asked without much interest. It was all the same.

“Trivandrum,” the Professor said.

Ajit’s hear t skipped a beat. He thought he did not hear it properly.

“Where?” He wanted to make sure.

“Trivandrum. St. Baselios College ground. ” the Professor answered.

St. Baselios was Nisha’s school adjoined by the St. Baselios College!

Ajit could not believe his ears. This was God’s blessing indeed. He could go to Trivandrum. He could see Nisha. He was elated.

They exchanged goodnights and parted ways, once the Professor dropped him at the bus stop.
Ajit could not suppress the smile. He was looking for a way to visit Nisha and this was the perfect opportunity. He could not wait for the tournament to begin.

He conveyed the news to Nisha and she too was euphoric.

“Hey, it’s my school ground,” she exclaimed when he said the college’s name.

“How many days you will be here?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“It depends on whether we win the first match.” Ajit answered.

“You will of course.” She was sure.

“One week, if we win the Quarter and Semi,” he replied.

“Then you can stay here, with us?” She questioned.

“I don’t know. I may have to stay where the team is staying. Normally it is the college hostel, who is hosting the tournament” He was hoping he could stay at Nisha’s house.

“We will see. When is it?” She wanted to confirm the news.

“Two weeks. Beginning from next month.”

They spoke for a couple of minutes more and hung up.

Ajit was practicing really hard from the next day onwards. He wanted to win the tournament, while Nisha watched him playing.

When Ajit presented the case to Ammachi, she was little apprehensive.

“I don’t know. Your father may not allow it”

“Ammachi, this is once in a lifetime opportunity. If we win, I could get into the State team,” he pleaded.

Seeing the boy’s enthusiasm, she consented.

“Ok. I am not going to tell your father.” She said.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. The next problem solved by itself.

“You said it is in Trivandrum, right?” she queried.

“Yes Ammachi.”

“That’s where our Raju’s house is, isn’t it?” She did not know where exactly they were.

“Yeah. They are just outside the city. Half an hours distance from the ground,” he replied.

“Ok. I’ll call Raju and tell him. May be you can stay with them.” She was making sure her grandson was comfortable. That’s all she could do for him.

Ajit did not know what to say. It was all too easy to be real. He pinched himself to make sure he was not dreaming.

When Ammachi told Raju about the tournament, he was more than happy to accommodate the boy.

“Aley Ammamme,” he addressed her this way “I may not be here that time. I have to go to Bangalore for some business. But Susan will be here. I should be back within a week or so” Raju told her.

Ammachi’s concern was who will pick Ajit since he is new to the city. Raju informed that Nisha was familiar with the city and she would pick him up.

Forsaken - Chapter 18

2011-05-15T14:39:00.000+04:00

Chapter 18
During dinner Johny and Raju were as jovial as they were yesterday. It was apparent that they had downed some drinks, not enough to cause thickness in speech, but still good enough to lift their spirits above normal. Every few seconds, Ajit locked his eyes with Nisha and they smiled at each other furtively. They felt like conspirators, plotting some mischievous act, which no one was aware about.

After the dinner, he stood there in the balcony, hoping Nisha would come like yesterday.
Yesterday was a long time back, he thought. So many things had happened between then and now. Yesterday, Nisha was just another guest. But today, that guest had become his life. He craved for her presence, her smell. He could not think of her in the way his friends would have suggested. In their opinion, a girlfriend was to be fondled, kissed and if possible to have sex with. He felt for Nisha in an entirely different manner. He worshipped her. He could not even think about having sex with her, or touching her suggestively.

“It is divine love,” he mused. “She is mine. I want her with all her purity, with all her divinity.”

His mind was so pre-occupied with these thoughts that he did not realize when they came upstairs. He realized it only when he heard the door creaking. He turned back to see Susan Aunty opening the door of their room.

“Tomorrow we have to get up early Monay,” she explained when she saw him watching her.

“Oh.” He was disappointed. It meant no more talking to Nisha.

As Susan was making the bed, Nisha came up. She stood at the door for a moment, glancing at him. Then she wished him good night and went in to the room.

“Where is Raju Uncle?” he called after her.

“He is going to sleep in the Pandal.” It was Susan who replied.

After standing there for a few more minutes, Ajit turned in.

Ajit was all ready by eight thirty. He wore a neatly pressed stripped cotton shirt, black stripes on the white background, with a Kasavu mundu .He hurried through the motions since they all had to go to the church by 9:30 AM. When he came down, there were many guests sitting in the pandal, chatting and sipping on hot, steaming coffee. A photographer was running around with his camera, filming the guests. Another guy, who carried a camcorder with a mounted arc light on top of it, was standing at one corner, with a superior air. It was the early days of camcorders and he was the only person who owned one in Ayroor. No other photo studio had one.

Johny was busy running around, shouting orders to the people, smiling and wishing the guests, making all final arrangements. When he saw Ajit, he grabbed the boy’s hand and asked him whether he had had breakfast. When Ajit nodded in negative, he pulled him to the nearest table and shouted at the men who were standing near a table, to serve him. All of a sudden, a pale green banana leaf appeared in front of him followed by idlies and sambar. He urged him to finish quickly and moved to the other side to ask the same question to another guest.

By 9 AM they all assembled in the hall. It was the prayer session followed by Dakshina. Dakshina is the thanks giving to her elders, teachers etc by offering a one rupee coin and a betel nut in a betel leaf and touching their feet.

The parish vicar started the proceedings by a song, followed by a prayer. It was finished quickly and the dakshina began.

It was when Ajit saw Nisha. She was just coming into the hall now, wearing a stunning, golden-yellow long skirt and matching blouse. Ajit drew a sharp intake of breath. The long wavy hair was combed backward and parted in the middle. She tied the hair right below her neck, and the rest was left loose. It flew around in the wind. Some strands fell on her forehead, which she put back into place by her fingers.

Ajit had never seen anyone so beautiful. She was radiating a glow around her. The picture of beauty and serenity. She was wearing a thin gold chain that was just discernible. It matched perfectly with her complexion and for Ajit, she looked more graceful that the bride.

She saw him, gave a smile and his heart jumped with joy. I am lucky, he said to himself. Here is my girl, gorgeous and loving and sporting a to-die-for smile with that sweet dimples.

There was a scrambling as people began moving out to the waiting cars that would take them to the church. The church was a few kilometers away from the house. There were a row of cars - seven Ambassadors, six hired by Johny, one of Raju’s and Ajit’s Maruti.

Ajit gestured for Nisha to travel with him. She stood behind her mother and was being pushed by the moving people. That’s when Susan saw him.

“Monay, you take Ammachi in your car. Okay?” She has to raise her voice considerably to be heard in the din.

He nodded. He summoned enough courage to ask her.

“Aunty, Let Nisha come with me.”

“Is there enough space in your car?” She questioned back.

“Yes,” he replied.

“Ok moley, you go with him. Anyway our car is already full.” She told Nisha.

Nisha took Ammachi’s hand and waded through the people. Most of the cars were already revving up and the first ones started to move.

Johny was accommodating each guest into the waiting cars. He got into the last one, driven by Raju which was decorated with evergreen leaves and roses. The bride and her parents travelled in that.

There were two more ladies waiting by his car as Johny gave them instructions come in this. So Ammachi and those ladies climbed into the back seat. Nisha, obviously pleased, climbed into the front seat. He put the car in motion.

Ajit tried to make conversation with Nisha, but she was not very forthcoming. He attributed it to the presence of other ladies behind them, but was concerned when he saw her clutching her abdomen, with her left hand, the hand that was hidden from Ajit’s view and squinting as if in pain.

“Nisha, you look tense. Are you all right?” Ajit questioned.

For a second Ajit thought he saw her face flush. It could have been the sunlight, he reasoned.

That’s when Ammachi, from the back seat, answered.

“Aji, you drive carefully Ok? Don’t talk while you drive.” And there were some whispers and giggles from behind. He looked at Nisha. Yes, she was blushing deep now. And there was a smile on her face. Though he could not see it properly, the ever-so-light suggestion of a dimple on her cheek made him think that she was smiling and trying to suppress it.

The rest of the journey went smoothly, with occasional whispers from the backseat. He thought he heard one of the lady commenting “Look at the timing” or something of that sort.

He parked at the church compound near to the exit. He was aware that, after the wedding, they have to head back to the house for reception. Once that was over, Nisha would be gone. The thought saddened him. He could not imagine how and when he would see her again. He had no excuses to go to Trivandrum, nor could Nisha come here.

Ammachi and the other two ladies got out and started walking towards the church entrance where most of the guests were standing. The bride was still sitting in the car, which was parked right in front of the main door of the church. Ajit and Nisha got out, locked the doors and walked towards the door. There the photographer and the videographer was busy filming the bride and the relatives. Nisha went directly to the bride, whispered something in her ear and both smiled.
Ajit chose to stand away from the crowd and watch the proceedings. He was watching Nisha as she moved away from the bride to where her mother was standing. Just then somebody announced that the groom had arrived. The cars came followed by a tourist coach, a bus usually used for picnics and weddings. All the other vehicles other than the groom’s were parked right below the church compound since there was not enough space at the compound. The groom’s car parked right behind the bride’s and he got down.

“He is a tall, smart guy,” Ajit thought. He was wearing a cream full sleeve shirt, with a Kasavu Mundu. As he got down there was a commotion as the photographers competed with each other to get a good angle. Flashes burst in quick succession.

Soon the bride and groom entered the church followed by the others. The wedding was about to begin.

Ajit was about to get into the church when he saw Nisha standing in the porch, leaning on to the pillar. Why she is not going in? He asked himself. Since he was tall, he always preferred the last row. Otherwise people would scold him for blocking the view. He walked over to her.

“Nisha, why you are not going inside,” he asked.

Nisha looked up into his solemn eyes. She knew he was concerned, but she chose to ignore his question.

“Why you are not going in?”

“I was about to when I saw you standing there.”

“Well, I…. just…. not feeling well,” she managed.

“Why? What happened?” He was really concerned now.

“It’s nothing. Just a little headache.” She tried to play it down.

“Head ache? Shall I give you some Vicks?” He always keep the pain balm in his dash board when travelling with Ammachi. She would get these head aches when travelling.

“No. Nothing required. It’s just….. nothing.”

“Then why you are not going in to see the wedding?” He was insistent.

Nisha thought for a moment. He is not going anywhere unless he gets a satisfactory answer.

“See, Aji, I can’t go in. I got a problem. Don’t ask me what. Okay?” She hoped that she was not ticking him off.

“Problem? Nisha, I love you and you love me. Then why you can’t tell me?” He was speaking in a soft voice.

“Jesus Christ! How do I make this boy understand?” He put her hands on her head.

“By telling me what the problem is.” He sported a grin.

“Ok. According to our custom, a girl shouldn’t go into the church when....” She covered her face with both hands.

“When?” Ajit was confused. Why girls shouldn’t go into the church?

“Oh my God.. You idiot. You don’t know anything” She exclaimed and gave him a pinch.

“Nisha, If you want to tell me, tell me directly. Don’t go in circles.” His face clouded. He thought she was making a fool out of him.

She took his hand, pulled him towards her and whispered in his ear.

For a minute, he stood there, not understanding what she said. Then a foolish grin spread across his face. He stood there, looking at her with a mixture of emotions. It is because she thought of him as her man, she chose to disclose about her period and he knew it. He felt pride and affection towards her. At the same time, the thought of parting with Nisha hit him hard.

“Ok. I’ll stay with you. We have got very little time to spend together,” he suggested.

From her expression, he knew she was more than pleased.

They talked about so many things in hushed tones. Finally he asked her what was next.
“I don’t know Aji. I was thinking about it all this while. The only option is your coming to Trivandrum for your degree” She said with some desperation.

“You know that is not possible. Father would never approve it.” He hated his father more than ever now.

“What we can do is, Make my Acha agree to this idea, then we can ask him to talk to your father. They were close friends” Nisha suggested.

He was less optimistic. But seeing no other option, he said that he would try. But that was some eight to nine months away. Till then?

They were still pondering over the question when the wedding ceremony was over. Johny came out, saw them standing there and gave a huge grin. Then he ran off to arrange the next things.

The bride and groom were posing for photographs in various positions as suggested by the photographers. There were three of them now, one from the bride’s side and two of them belonged to the groom’s entourage. Johny came back and dragged both Ajit and Nisha to them.

“You two stand with the newlyweds and take a photo” He commanded them and the photographers as well.

Reluctantly they stood with the bride and groom. Ajit stood at the groom’s side and Nisha on bride’s side. That’s when Ajit remembered something he thought of last night.

The next available moment, he whispered to Nisha.

“I want a photograph of you. Just to see you when you are away” His voice was soft and pleading.

“I don’t have any good one, Aji” She said in a tone that touched his heart.

“I just need some thing. To see you, to remember you.” He was insistent.

“I have one passport size photo, in my mom’s bag. But it’s black and white” She suddenly remembered. Susan always kept two photographs in her bag. One is Raju’s and the other, Nisha’s.

“That’ll do.” He brightened.

While going back, Nisha was quiet. She too was thinking about the impending parting of ways and was saddened.

They had lunch, a grand meal consisting of chicken curry, beef fry, fish fry, among other dishes and rice. Ajit felt the time was flying. As the moment of departure neared, his heart started to beat faster. As they were washing their hands, she whispered to him.

“Stay in the car. I’ll come down in a minute with a photo.” Then she fled.

It took only two minutes for her to obtain the photo from her mom’s bag. She picked it up and ran towards the car. She heard her father bidding farewells.

She got into the car and sat beside Ajit. With trembling hands she took his hands and placed the photo into them.

“I don’t need a photograph of you. Your face is etched in my mind” She was feeling really bad and was afraid that she may cry. She slowly let his fingers slip away from her hand. As the tips were slipping away, she took hold of them once again, raised them to her lips and kissed them. Then she opened the door and ran towards the house.

Ajit raised the photograph. He saw a fifteen year old girl, with her jet black eyes, smiling at him from it. He lovingly caressed it, letting his fingers run over her eyes, nose, and lips. Then he slowly raised it to his face and kissed it.

Forsaken - Chapter 17

2011-05-15T14:36:00.000+04:00

Chapter 17
Ajit was not walking. He was floating. The final questions were answered. Nisha wanted to be around him as much as he wanted to be. Her asking him to accompany her to Ranny pleased him no end. After all somebody wanted him. Somebody thought he was worthy of being with. He saw colors everywhere. The world has suddenly become much more beautiful. He walked with a spring in his step.

The breakfast was appam and chicken curry. Compared to last night’s dinner, it was a mute affair. There was no laughter and the conversations were minimal. Raju was having a terrible hangover and it was apparent from the way he pressed his temples. Everyone concentrated on attacking the food, and so it was over pretty soon.

The ladies were crowded around the bride, inspecting the ornaments and the bridal dress. The ornaments and sarees were purchased from a leading shop in Kottayam, famous for their bridal collections. Lissy, the bride, was sitting in the middle, as they tried out the ornaments on her. She was basking in all the attention. They commented on how beautiful she would look once dressed up in her bridal dress. That evening, they had to separate seven threads from the manthrakody, the saree that she has to wear once the groom tied the knot, and starch it to make the twain to put the Minnu, the symbol of matrimony. The Minnu is a tiny heart shaped locket, on which seven small gold bubbles form a cross. They were all excited.

The truck that carried the folding chairs and tables arrived. Ajit made himself busy with helping the unloading and arranging into neat stacks near the porch. The cars were taken out from the yard, Raju’s Ambassador and Ajit’s Maruti rested in the drive way. Ajit was sweating all over from the exertion, but did not mind it too much. He was happy to be of any assistance. All the while he searched for Nisha, but she was somewhere inside the house.
As the day wore on, Ajit felt depressed. Not once did he get a chance to see Nisha. He had been kept busy by Johny, who made him run on several errands. By the time lunch was served, he was a little tired.

After lunch, when Raju and Johny were resting under the shadow of a huge mango tree at the corner of the front yard, Nisha and Susan came to them. Ajit was talking to George, who was clearing the obstacles from the drain pipe, which was provided to drain out the rainwater from the yard.

He saw Susan and Nisha walking towards Raju. He became a little tense. What if Raju Uncle disagrees? What would he do once they leave for Ranny? True, he was not able to see her since morning, but knowing that she was around was soothing enough. He hated to think what it would be like when they go back to Trivandrum, after the wedding.

Raju was shaking his head vigorously. Ajit’s heart sank. Then Susan was saying something with her arms flailing out. Johny intervened and spoke to them, pointing to him. Raju looked at him, thought for a minute and then shook his head once again. But this time it was in an updown motion, as if he was saying yes.

Johny came to him with Nisha and Susan in tow. He explained the situation to him. Raju could not get away now, since there were a lot of things to be done and Johny required his presence. He could not oversee each and everything alone, therefore Raju could not take them to Ranny, where Susan and Nisha wanted to go very badly. Susan wanted to visit one of her aunts who was ailing and on her deathbed. Nisha wanted to see the school she once attended, the place where she lived as a child, and some of her childhood friends. So, Johny asked Ajit if he would be kind enough to drive them to Ranny and return before it was dark.

Ajit thought he saw a glint in Johny’s eyes, when he said Nisha’s name. He did not want to admit to it so soon.

“If you insist, I guess it’s okay.” He was jubilant but did not show it.

“So that settles it. Susan, you two go with him. He is a good driver, I know.” He turned and winked at him.

As Johny and Susan left for their respective positions, Johny back to the shade of the tree and Susan to upstairs to get ready, Nisha put on a defiant look, put both her hands on the hip and questioned him.

“Only if Kochappa insists, huh?”

“You silly, I was trying to act normal. If I show my eagerness, wouldn’t it be too obvious to them to guess?” He tried to make her understand.

“Ok. You get ready. Let’s go.” She smiled at him that cute, dimpled smile. The smile he loved the most in her.

On their way to Ranny, Susan kept complaining about Raju. Nisha was sitting with her mother, in the back seat. He twisted the rear view mirror in such a way that they could see each other. They reached Susan’s aunt’s home by three o’ clock. As her condition was very critical, Susan chose to stay back with her for a couple of hours and suggested that Ajit and Nisha continue to go to the other places.

The school was some three kilometers from that place. She still sat in the rear seat when they started. As they turned to the main road, she asked him to stop the car.

Wondering why she wanted to pull over now, Ajit obliged. Ajit was really happy to see her opening the front door and sit beside him.

“Aji, I don’t want to go anywhere,” she stated.

Ajit was surprised.

“Why?”

“I was planning to go to see all those places. Just to feel that nostalgia. But when I saw you, I saw my world. I just want to be with you” she was looking directly into his eyes. The shyness, the embarrassment, everything was gone. Instead her eyes shone from the realization that this was the man she loved.

Ajit’s heart melted. He was feeling this kind of emotion for the first time. He never thought someone could love him so much within so short of time. But the time is irrelevant here, he thought.

“Nisha I don’t know what to say except that you are my life now.” He doubted that he has expressed himself well.

He took her hands in his, gave a kiss on it. She closed her eyes to feel the warmth of his kiss on her hand.

They sat there, content and in complete ignorance about the outside world. They did not talk.
After a few moments, she broke the silence.

“Let’s go to your home.”

“It’s locked and key is with Ammachi,” Ajit answered.

“I know. I just want to see the house. It has got a lot of memories attached to it” Her eyes were half-closed as if she was in a trance.

Ajit put the car in motion. He took the right turn from the next junction. As they were climbing the steep, winding road that leads to his place, she turned in the seat to face him and enquired.

“Kurien Uncle still beats you?”

Ajit froze. He did not know what to say.

“Well, uh… No” He managed. Somehow he felt ashamed about Nisha knowing it.

“Acha was telling that incident when you broke your leg playing football. Johny uncle told Acha” She was full of sympathy. Her voice was very soft.

Ajit did not say anything. He silently drove the car. Nisha turned towards the window to see those familiar landscapes as they were approaching his home.

She was asking what had become of this and that as they passed each house or some landmark. This was the route they used to go to church. The church stood on top of a small hillock, with its thirty-eight steps starting from the bottom of the hillock. As they passed the church and the cross tower right below the church, she paused a moment in prayer.

He parked the car outside the gate, since it was locked. They entered through the mini-gate at the backside, which was always kept open for the maids and the milkman to enter. She circled the house, recollecting the incidents when they were still kids.

“Do you remember this place? This is where I fell down and scraped my knee. You brought some leaves and squeezed out its syrup and applied it on the wound” she exclaimed at one spot.
And at another spot, “This is where we built our first playhouse.”

And so on. Ajit just trailed her. He did not have any pleasant memories about this house. This was his prison, the place where he was rotting. “It is not mine. I am just a guest in a hotel. When I grow old, I will buy my own house somewhere else, but not this,” he determined.

After about half an hour, Nisha said they should go back. Ajit obliged and they drove back.
She was doing most of the talking. He loved to listen to her, slightly nasal, yet soft voice. As they were approaching the Aunt’s house, she asked the question that plagued his mind since afternoon.

“Once I go back, when will we see each other?”

Ajit hated to think about it. But he knew that she would go. She had to go. He could not go with her too. The thought depressed him.

“I don’t know. I just can’t think about it,” he said soulfully.

“Aji, can you come to Trivandrum for your degree studies?” She was exploring possibilities.
“Nisha, you know father. He won’t allow all that.”

“Then how? We are seeing each other after all these years. Now I don’t want to loose you” She wanted him to come up with something.

“Tomorrow afternoon, right after the wedding and reception, we will go back.” As she spoke, she felt the pang. Not seeing him was a thought she could not entertain.

“We shall call each other. Then once I finish my pre-degree, I’ll convince Ammachi to send me to Trivandrum for degree”

She gave him her home telephone and he gave his.

Before they were to turn to the house, she took his hand and kissed it.

“Until we can see each other with parents not around,” she smiled at him.

Ajit felt goosebumps all over his body. He thought of giving her a peck on the cheek but they had already reached the house.

When they reached Mecheril, the pandal was already up. The labourers were decorating it by first pinning white sheets along the tarpaulin roof’s inside and plastic garlands hanging from it in designs. They parked the car outside and walked in.

Johny and Raju were nowhere in sight. Ajit went directly to his room and changed his clothing. Then he went to the kitchen. He wanted some coffee. He found Gracy aunty, who was, as usual, busy with the chores and asked her. She obliged and poured a cup of coffee from the flask.
Ajit went out to the pandal and watched how they were making designs on the overhead sheets. They were making a big circular design, with colorful garlands right on top where the bride and groom would sit. From the middle, they hung few garlands to form a cylindrical shape. One of the guys explained that as soon as the newlyweds would sit on the chairs, they will pull a string to burst a balloon in the middle which will be filled with golden, glittering stars.

Ajit tried to imagine how it would feel to sit right in front of hundreds of guests as newlyweds. He thought of Nisha and him, sitting there on the kingly chairs, side by side when a rain of golden stars fell upon them. Then they would get up, drink tender coconut water from the same shell, using two straws. He was still thinking about it, not knowing he was grinning, when a voice woke him up.

“Day dreaming, huh?”

It was Johny. Ajit lowered his eyes, afraid that Johny would find out what he was dreaming.
Johny raised the boy’s face with his palm, looked straight into the eyes.

“Tell me, how was the trip?” He was speaking in a hushed tone.

“I took them there, then brought back” He tried to avert his gaze.

“Susan told me she stayed back with that old lady, when you two went for a spin.”

Jesus! He should be a detective, Ajit thought. Then with a smile, he nodded his head, knowing only too well that he could not hide it anymore.

Johny’s demeanor changed to a more serious one. He sat beside him.

“Look, just don’t let anybody know it now. I am worried about your father. If he comes to know about it, no doubt, he will make a mess out of it. When time comes, I’ll talk to Raju and sort things out. Kurien should be told only when it is absolutely necessary”

Ajit was indebted to his Kochappa for his farsightedness for solving a big problem that may arise later. He looked at the man with a tender heart.

“Don’t worry. I think you two make a very good pair. Just stay in the limit, okay? Don’t do anything that is….. Umm…. You know what I mean.” He gave the boy a big, sly smile and started to leave. Then he turned back, came closer to him.

“Did she know about your feelings?”

“Yes” He said it with more emphasis than necessary.

“Good. I knew it from the first time I saw you both talking there in the verandah. The way you looked at each other, the surreptitious touches.” With that he walked towards the backyard where they had started preparations for the lunch tomorrow.

Forsaken - Chapter 16

2011-05-15T14:33:00.000+04:00

Chapter 16
Ajit could not sleep. He was in a state of euphoria. For long, he had listened to his friends boasting of their escapades with girls, how they fell in love and how it would be to have a girl friend. The term for making a girl friend was valakkal (pure translation is bending) or Tuning. He wasn’t interested in the tuning, or pretended that way. In fact he was afraid of asking any girl. Plus the fear of his father. But now, I have a girl friend. He wanted to shout to the world. “I too am in love.”

He remembered how the soft, warm body of Nisha snuggled against his, how her hands were clutching his back. It felt wonderful. He has become a man. A man with a mission. Till now, his life was aimless. He was living under the perennial fear of his father, letting the days pass by, nothing to live for in particular. Now he had found his niche. He was sure that this was not a passing fancy of adolescence. As Nisha said, the love was ingrained in the heart since their childhood. It came out at the first opportune moment, which was dormant for all these years.
He heard somebody opening the door, and a light entered the room. He pretended to be fast asleep. Then he heard Johny uncle’s voice.

“Ok guys. I’ll sleep here with the boy. Raju is in the next room. You guys go down and one room is arranged there. Adjust wherever you find space. Okay?”

They all murmured in assent. Ajit sensed a body eased into the bed. Then not having enough space, Johny tapped on the boy’s shoulder.

“Monay, Move over a little.”

As if in sleep, he moved towards the side. Johny lied down and the next moment started snoring.

The overnight torrential rain had washed away all the leaves from the front yard. The laborers had arrived to erect the pandal, a flat roof made out of tarpaulin, where all the guests would sit down for lunch after the wedding. It was surprising to see Johny Uncle milling around with them and giving instructions despite the boisterous late night celebration. Raju uncle was nowhere to be seen. Ajit woke up earlier than usual, despite not being able to sleep properly.

His heart was aching to see Nisha but she was nowhere to be seen.

He wandered around aimlessly. Johny was coming from the back yard, carrying a bunch of coir and a shovel. He playfully patted the boy’s head with the coir.

“Kochappa, where is Raju Uncle?”

Johny stopped abruptly. Then sporting a mischievous smile, he asked him,

“Do you want to see Raju or Nisha?” the Nisha was given ample emphasis.

Ajit flushed. He wondered how he had found out.

“I just asked since I haven’t seen them,” he tried to defend his question.

‘I know I know. Monay, we all passed through this age, okay?” He gave the boy another impish, sizing-up look and moved ahead.

Then he stopped abruptly. “Nisha and Susan are down there in kitchen. If that’s what you want to know.”

Ajit was relieved. He feared that they had gone for some social visit since their relatives were staying not far from there. He kicked himself for not checking the kitchen.

He watched Johny. He was busy with the men who were digging the ground to erect posts.

Making sure that Johny was not watching, Ajit discreetly moved away from there, as if just loitering. Once he was in the hall, he moved towards the kitchen. The power was restored in the morning and he could hear the water pump motor outside. As it was yesterday, the kitchen bustled with activity. In the midst, he saw Nisha was sitting on a low stool which was no more than half a feet from the ground, known as Kurandi, close to her mother, who was sitting on another Kurandi and busy slicing chicken. As he entered the kitchen, she raised her head and their eyes locked. He saw a flash of excitement. Just for a moment. Then she lowered her head and whispered into her mother’s ear.

“How many times do I have to tell you Nisha?” Susan raised her voice in anger.

“What is it Susan? Why you are scolding the poor girl?” enquired Ammachi, who was sitting close to the other exit to the back yard and was peeling garlic. As per the custom, close relatives assemble a day or two before a wedding and helped in the preparation of things. The men were supposed to help in erecting the pandal, arranging the seating and tables and the night before, oversee the cooking of the big meal the next day.

“She keeps asking me when we are going to Ranny. I have told her already that it will be in the afternoon,” Susan wiped her face with the forearm.

That is when Ammachi saw Ajit.

“Monay, where were you yesterday? Johny told me you were sleeping upstairs. I could not climb all those stairs, so I slept here downstairs.” She was talking as she peeled garlic.

“I was upstairs, with Kochappa,” he answered, while walking towards her.

“Are you hungry? Do you want something? Coffee, tea?” It was Gracy aunty.

“No, nothing, I just came to see things,” he answered.

“Then go out. When it is time for breakfast, we will call you. Okay?” Gracy told him half-mockingly. There were all sorts of things on the floor. Not an inch of space.

He heard a giggle. It was Nisha.

“Then why you are letting her sit here? She doesn’t do anything too” Ajit retorted pointing to Nisha.

“Correct. Why are you sitting here, eating my head?” It was Susan who was clearly fed up with Nisha’s pestering about going to Ranny.

Ammachi Intervened. “Ok. Both of you go and check if Raju has woken up. If he has not, wake him up.”

Nisha made faces at her mother as she was getting up. She was feeling very shy in the presence of Ajit. She had trouble sleeping last night after the intimacy with Ajit and was clearly embarrassed.

Ajit made a winning laugh. That further provoked her.

She stuck out her tongue and made a scornful action. Then she stormed out of the kitchen. Ajit followed her.

“Nisha, I was searching for you all around since morning,” he whispered, as he came close to her.

She smiled. A cute, dimpled smile. He was walking along with her to the first floor.

“Nisha, please say something,” his voice was bordering on annoyance.

“Aji, I am little embarrassed” Finally she spoke.

“Why? Because of last night?”

She just nodded. Her cheeks turned rosy once again.

Ajit heaved a sigh. He was worried that she was having second thoughts on her declaration of love.

“Nisha, we are meeting after long eight years and we are in love. You can’t just go like this, not talking,” he remarked.

They were upstairs. As they walked towards the room, she stopped in the middle of a stride.

“Aji, I am little worried. If anyone comes to know about yesterday, Amma will kill me”

“Who will tell her? Me?” His face told her that he is hurt.

“No. I am not saying that you will tell anyone, but just in case if they come to know…” , the words trailed off.

“If you act this way, then they will definitely guess that something must have happened. Act normally, I mean the way we were yesterday.”

“I’ll try. Listen, we may go to Ranny this afternoon. Can you come with us?” She put her hand on the door knob.

“On what pretext? How can I come with you?” He could not find a reason to go back to Ranny, that too with Raju and family. Everyone would be curious.

“I’ll find a way, but make yourself available. Okay?” With that she opened the door.
They found Raju lying on his bed, snoring in his drunken stupor. She came to his bedside and shook him by the shoulder.

“Ache, Ache. Wake up. It’s eight ‘o clock”

It took another round of shaking and calling out before Raju opened his eyes. He smiled at his daughter, got out of the bed, marched towards the bathroom.

Forsaken - Chapter 15

2011-05-15T14:31:00.000+04:00

Chapter 15
Ajit was sitting in the car. He parked the car in the parking lot of the hotel, and was waiting for Raju Uncle to return. He was cursing himself for not turning back at the moment he recognized Raju. That would have been the best move, but he did not foresee all this. The greed for money, coupled with Chandrakant’s threat, made him stretch his luck. Now what would happen? Would Raju call his father? Or had he already done that? He imagined the reunion. “He must be very angry with me,” he told himself. After all the name of the family was tarnished forever. “He wouldn’t want to see me again.”

And Nisha. Would he tell Nisha? The thought shriveled him. He thought about the conversation in the car. Now he knew why Raju was quiet. He has recognized him at the hotel car park and did not want her to know the reason. So he may not tell her, he hoped.

He was expecting to see her with her children and husband. But he knew that if she turned up that way, he would have been more melancholic. Somehow, he still could not visualize her being married. Even Raju Uncle did not ask anything about her husband or children which was not usual. Perhaps she is not married yet.

“Married or not, I don’t stand a chance,” he smirked at himself for the crazy thoughts. A chance for what? Marry her? He laughed aloud despite the precarious situation he was in. “Who are you trying to fool? She wouldn’t even come face to face with me. It ‘s natural. The more you love someone, the more you hate when something goes wrong. “

“I forsook her pure, angelic love,” he thought aloud. He never thought he would be losing her. It was a match made in heaven. He still remembered the night when he had touched her.

**************

After Susan Aunty left to assist Gracy Aunty, both of them stood there, side by side. He could hear her breathing. Suddenly there was some tension in the air. Half an hour earlier, they were talking freely, but now there was something that forbade them from talking. The silence was loud between them.

Finally, Nisha chose to break the roaring silence.

“So, you did not answer my last question.”

“What question?” He spoke in a very soft voice. He was afraid that she would come to know the thoughts that were going on in his mind.

“Do you have any girlfriends at college?” she blurted out.

“What do you think?” his answer was another question.

“I don’t know.” She admitted.

Ajit’s heart was pounding. The next question may solve this dilemma. He was clearly attracted to this girl. But if she did not feel the same way towards him, everything would be spoiled. If she complained to her father or mother, they may, in turn, tell his father. Then everything would be finished. He would be subjected to another tirade.

Somehow he found the courage. If this chance was lost, he may never be able to tell her his feelings. He prepared himself.

All of a sudden, the sky was awash with a blinding light. The next moment, like the sound of a giant tree falling, the thunder came.

Nisha jumped with fear. The next moment, she was hiding her face on his chest, grabbing his sides desperately while she let out a wail. The sound of her screaming drowned in the thunderous noise.

Instinctively, Ajit’s hands wrapped around her.

From downstairs Susan called loudly. “Aji, is Nisha ok?”

He heard the voice from far, far away. He did not let her go. She was enveloped in his strong hands. He replied to Susan loudly.

“She is ok, Aunty.”

As if shaken by some invisible force, Nisha came back to her senses and found her to be in an embarrassing situation. She tried to break free. The grip was tightened.

“Aji, Leave me” She pleaded. In the dim light she could see his eyes. It was sparkling. The face looked down upon her was flushed and she could see the flames of the lantern reflecting in the eyes.

Without any preamble, he blurted out his heart’s content.

“Nisha, I love you”
“Aji leave me please. Someone may come upstairs.”

“No. Tell me you love me too.” He was calm since the burden in his chest was unloaded.

She just looked downward, unable to meet his eyes. But she stopped wriggling.

“Nisha, if you don’t tell me, I will die from anxiety. I want to know. Please” he pleaded.

“Do I have to spell out everything? Aji, I loved you since I was a child,” she whispered.

Ajit was in heaven. The feeling of being loved by his childhood sweet heart elated him. He held her tightly towards him and this time Nisha did not try to get away. Instead she moved closer and they embraced.

Ajit was feeling the warmth of her body. Her tiny breasts were pressing against his ribs. He could feel the slender hands touching his back. His heart began beating furiously. He was afraid that anytime it would burst. The rush of blood to his face made it flush deeply.

Then slowly raising her face with one hand, he kissed her on the forehead. Then he kissed her on the eyes. His lips moved downwards. She did not move. It was like she was transfixed by his touch. She slightly parted her lips and was ready to be kissed.

Suddenly they heard footsteps and a light coming up the stairs. She suddenly broke free from his grip, moved away and ran into her room.

Johny came up the stairs holding a candle in his hand. Raju and few other men, clearly intoxicated from the drinking, paraded towards him.

He was sure, they had not seen anything. But still, his heart pounded with fear.

“Down there, we could not play due to this damn wind.” Johny explained. His words were slipping at the edge now.

They moved to the last room in the row, opened it.

“Monay, do you want to join?” Raju asked playfully.

“Hey, he is a kid. Don’t speak like that,” somebody in the group chastised him.

“Hey fellaw, I was just kidding,” Raju roared amidst another round of laughter. Then he turned to Ajit once again before going in.

“Monay, Goodnight. See you tomorrow morning”

“Night Uncle.” He responded in a disappointed voice.

He dared to steal a glance into Nisha’s room. He could see her silhouette in the dim light. She was lying on her stomach, one leg still outside the cot. He softy called out.

“Nisha.”

She did not respond. So he raised his voice a little bit. Still there was no response. He stood there, listening to the loud banter and laughter from the next room. It was obvious that they had resumed the play.

He looked around. Seeing no one, he contemplated going into her room. At that instance, he could hear somebody coming up the stairs.

He stood there. Susan Aunty’s figure came to light.

She was carrying a blanket in one hand and a jug in the other. Seeing him alone, she looked around.

“Where’s Nisha, Monay?”

“She said she is sleepy and went to bed” He lied.

“Oh. She is always like that. Sleeps before nine.” Then coming closer, she asked him.

“What happened? You look scared.”

“Nothing. I am sleepy too.”

“Oh. Then go and sleep. I think they are going to continue this all night long. After all it’s been some time since all the cronies got together” She was referring to the din from the next room.

He put on a forced smile and walked into the room.

Forsaken - Chapter 14

2011-05-15T14:28:00.000+04:00

Chapter 14
When Raju declared that they all have to go Johny’s daughter’s wedding the next day, Nisha was excited. She always wanted to go to her ancestral home though they did not possess a home there now. It had been eight years since they had visited that place. When Raju moved to Trivandrum to develop the business, they sold off everything and left the place. Since then, Raju has visited his friends a few times, but Susan and Nisha never went there. Since Raju’s parents had died long back, and not many relatives around left, it wasn’t necessary to visit very often.

So when she came to know about the impending trip to Ayroor, she was exhilarated. To see all those places were she walked as a little girl. She was not sure whether they get a chance to go to Ranny, since it involved more travel. So she asked her Dad.

“Ache, could we go to Ranny?”

“I suppose. Tomorrow we go to Ayroor, Johny Uncle’s house. Perhaps the day after tomorrow, provided I am free, we could go there.”

On this Susan interrupted.

“What do you mean by if you are free?. You don’t have much to do the whole day. It would only be a couple of hours.”

Raju winked at Nisha. The “if I am free” statement was just to provoke Susan. He knew that there won’t be much to do the next day. In fact, he was planning to go only on the previous day of the marriage, but decided otherwise. It had been too many years since they had had a get together. Johny was very special to him. He could leave his business for a couple of days since he was not expecting any new shipments that week.

Nisha was not expecting to meet Ajit when they went to Ranny. Since her childhood he was her soul mate. They were inseparable. They went to church together, they played together by making playhouses and pretended that they are father and mother, scolding their fictitious children and cooking those dishes made of mud and leaves. They went to school together when she too started school. When Raju moved to Trivandrum, she was the most inconsolable. She cried for days and was unusually pesky. Gradually, the memory faded and it remained in one of the dark corners of her consciousness. Now when they were going back to Ranny, she was glad.

As soon as they reach the Mecheril House, Raju got sucked into a group of men who were discussing the climate, the fluctuating prices of rubber and other general things. Susan was grouped with other women with their usual banter. Nisha was sitting in a corner of the dining room, playing with two children. She was bored since after the initial introduction and exclamations about her being a big girl now, they started serious gossiping. She was left to her own devices. So she found solace in these two boys, who were about five years old. She was singing a rhyme to them when her mother touched her shoulder.

She was crouching to make even with the boys. She looked up from that position to hear her mother asking a boy whether he recognized her.

So she stood up to be recognized. Then she saw the boy’s face. He was a tall boy, at least a foot taller than her. He was good looking too. Right above his upper lips, there was a suggestion of a moustache. She could not recognize him either.

She put on a smug smile as everyone was watching them. Then the boy’s face lit up. He was grinning from ear to ear as he uttered the word.

“Hey, it’s Nisha.”

Everyone laughed. The reality dawned upon her too. Yes. It is Ajit.

Both stood there for a couple of minutes, just looking at each other. A thousand memories flooded through their mind.

“You both don’t have anything to say to each other? Nisha, you did not recognize him?,” one of the ladies called out.

“Yeah. I did.” Nisha replied. Suddenly she felt a little shy. Blood was rushing to her face and she blushed. Her fair complexion did not help either as her face turned to a rosy texture.

“Hey look, she is blushing. She is feeling shy.” One of the ladies shouted amidst roars of laughter.

Finally it was Ajit who broke the trance. He was feeling a strange emotion within. He could not understand what it was. It was something like a tickle in the heart, a sweet ache.

“Hello Nisha. How are you?” He was surprised at his voice. It was barely audible.

“I am fine.” She said averting her gaze from him.

“Which standard you are in now?” He was sure that she must be in 10th grade. She was three years younger to him.

“10th.” She replied.

Then they started talking. They walked out of the room, found a comfortable seat at the edge of the verandah, where he was standing earlier in the day, when Johny came to him to talk. She shared her experience in the big city and he boasted about his growing cricketing skills. They both made a world of their own and were completely unaware about their surroundings. By the time dinner was ready, they had almost exchanged their stories of eight, long years.

While talking to Ajit, Nisha felt a tingling in her heart. She wanted him to go on and on. It was really nice to listen to him and tell him her experiences. From the way he looked at her, he was trying to send across some message. She guessed he too was feeling the same. When Ajit touched her to stress a point about his heroic exploits in the cricket field, she simply loved it. She laughed her heart out when he cracked some jokes.

She was not at all amused when he spoke about some girls in his class. She was afraid that one of those girls was his girlfriend. So she asked him with dread, hoping the answer would be negative.

“So do you have any girlfriend at college?”

Before he could answer, they heard their name being called out. It was Johny uncle, searching for them. He was coming towards them.

“Hey I was searching for you two.”

“We were just talking about our experiences, Kochappa” Ajit explained.

“Ok. Dinner is ready guys. Let’s have something to eat, and then continue the discussion.” From his demeanor it was apparent that he was drunk. The cheeks were flushed a deep red and some words were slurring.

As they were about to get up, another figure emerged to the verandah from behind the curtains of the front hall. It was Raju and he came to them. As he saw his daughter in the group, his face brightened.

“It looks like it will rain” He spoke to Johny and turning to Nisha, “Hey molu, you guys caught-up with each other?”

They both tried to answer at the same time. Then both stopped at the same time and once again started speaking together. Then they laughed at their own naivety, Ajit looked at her and motioned to speak.

“Ache, do you know, Aji is the captain of the cricket team in his college.” She made it sound like he had been selected the National team captain.

“Is it? Good. So you are the goalie, huh?” Raju too was drunk and slurring.

“Ache, goalie is in football.” She wore a censuring look.

“Oh yeah, I know. So you are the captain. Good. Let’s have dinner and then talk about it. Ok?” He leaned onto the huge pillar.

“Ok. Let’s go” Johny led the way, with Raju behind him followed by the boy and girl.

They ate their dinner in without uttering a word. The truth was they did not get a chance to talk. The drunkards were enjoying thoroughly, cracking jokes loudly and laughing hysterically. The ladies served the dishes as was the custom. The ladies would wait until their men finished dinner and then they would all sit together and eat. They never shared a table with their men, at least publicly. If anyone did that, she was branded as an Ahankari (respect-less). Nisha and Ajit sat opposite to each other on the big table. They stole a look at each other, every now and then. Nisha has become so self-conscious and nibbled at her food. She felt butterflies in her stomach.

A bright light flashed followed by a thunderous noise. As if on cue, the lights went out. Nisha let out a scream.

Groans went up many throats the same time.

“Ok. Everyone, be seated wherever you are. I’ll bring the candles” Gracy, who was standing near the kitchen, shouted.

“Damn it, look at the timing to go off” Raju cursed.

“Here, if a wind blows, the light goes off. I don’t think it will be back for today. Tomorrow I have to go to the electricity board, bring the lineman, and check whether it is a fuse, or the transformer it self.” Johny spoke between chews.

“Here it is no big issue. You can sleep without the fan if you open the window. But in Trivandrum, if you do that, all the heat and mosquitoes will eat you up” Raju explained the plight of city-living.

Gracy brought up lighted candles and fixed it on the table. Once again the procedure started. The rest of the dinner went on in near silence except for the clanging of spoons against the dishes and the occasional banter.

The men assembled in the porch around the coffee table with packs of cigarettes and playing cards. The women gather around the dining table for their turn. Ajit went to upstairs, to the room that was allotted to him.

Ajit was standing on the narrow balcony, leaning on to the hand-rails, trying to catch the rain drops in his hand. It started to pour. The flashes lit-up his face. The laughter and banter from downstairs could be heard amidst the sound of rain falling on the tiles above him. Then he heard someone talking, and climbing up the stairs. He turned to see, Susan Aunty and Nisha coming towards him. The lantern he brought upstairs was placed on the window sill. It threw long shadows behind the two figures approaching him.

“Is that you Ajit?” Susan called out.

“Yes aunty”

“Did not sleep yet?”

“No. I don’t usually sleep this early”

“I came to show her the room” Susan stated motioning towards Nisha.

She opened the next room to his, fixed the candle on to a small table by pouring the molten wax from the candle itself and made the bed.

Nisha accompanied her mother into the room and helped her spread the bed sheet properly and tucked it under the bed. They both came out together.

“Ok, Money, I have to go to the kitchen to assist Gracy. There are so many things to do.” She said to Ajit and turning to Nisha “Are you staying here, or coming down?”

Ajit prayed she stay put.

She did.

“No Amma, I will stay here.” She answered her mother.

“Won’t you be scared?” She was referring to the bolt. Nisha was very scared about the lightning.

“No Amma. He is here, right? And we have so many things to tell each other” She hoped that she was not being over enthusiastic and her mother would not be suspicious about her feelings.
Susan thought for a moment and nodded.

“Ok. I’ll come back once we are through with the cleaning. Then we could go and sleep.” And turning to Ajit “Monay, She is very scared about the lightning. Don’t leave her alone. OK?”

Ajit was more than willing. He just nodded his head.

The sudden jangling of the phone jolted Nisha out from her reverie. For a full minute she had difficulty in comprehending the surrounding. She checked the wall clock. It was 3:30 PM. The phone went dead.

“Oh my God!” She exclaimed. In her tiredness, she forgot to set the mobile time to Indian time or set an alarm.

Once again the phone started ringing insistently. She clambered out the bed and took the bedroom extension.

“Hello” She said in a sleepy, tired voice.

“Is this Dr. Nisha Jacob T.?” A male voice asked from the other end. Jacob was Raju’s official name and T stands for Thottumkal, her ancestral house name.

“Yes?” She said into the mouthpiece.

“Doctor, this is from the reception. Your father, Mr. Jacob Thottumkal left instruction to call you at 3:30 PM” he pronounced the Thottumkal in an awkward fashion.

“Thank you.” With that she disconnected the line. God bless Acha. She was very thankful to her father. Without the phone call, she could have slept for god-knows how long. She cursed herself for not being alert and forgetting to set the alarm.

She stood there for a minute totally disoriented. The memories were haunting her for too long. But she learned to turn off the tap with some practice. Lately she never thought about Ajit, or her bonding with him. It was too painful. She learned to live with it, pushing all of it under the carpet. She was surprised to know that, even after all these years, it was crystal clear. It was as if she is seeing it on a screen.

For one thing she was grateful to God. It did not hurt anymore as it used to earlier. Now she could think of him and the time they spend together, with some amount of casualness. It still ached, but not as much.

She hurriedly went through the shower and put on her dress. She contemplated about a little make-up and then thought otherwise. She just applied a little bit of lipstick, combed her hair and neatly tied it into a bun. By 4:15 PM she was on the lobby and was escorted to the banquet hall by one of the volunteers.

Forsaken - Chapter 13

2011-05-15T14:21:00.000+04:00

Chapter 13

Nisha was baffled. As she waited in the lobby, she was feeling the fatigue. The long, tiresome flight from London to Mumbai, the ride in the taxi, under the humid conditions and the jet lag made her feel very edgy. Another thing that was bothering her was her father’s strange behavior. Right after stopping for lunch, he had started acting very weird. She was sure it was not a fight between Amma and him about her not going home. While in the car, she has seen many times Raju fidgeting and clearly he was under tremendous pressure, then his wanting to go to Worli to pick Paappan Achayan. She could see only one possibility. The contentious matter of her marriage. He must be planning something that will make her agree for it. Perhaps he was thinking that if Paappan Achayan compels her, she may give in.

The mere thought of marriage made her uneasy. It always did. That subject always brought unpleasant memories. The memories of Ajit. All these years, she deliberately tried to suppress any thought about him. Even after the long years, the wounds were still fresh. How many years had it been? Fourteen or fifteen? She had an inkling that her parents were aware about Ajit and related that to her reluctance to get married. But they did not know the real reason.

Wanting to shrug off these thoughts, Nisha got up from the huge sofa on which she was sitting and treaded towards the door. She was getting impatient since Raju had not turned up yet. She wanted to rest her tired body. As she approached the huge glass doors, she saw a rather peculiar scene. Her dad was still sitting in the cab with his hand resting on the shoulder of the driver. The driver was facing him and it looked like they were having an argument. As she watched, Raju got out of the car, thought for a moment, leaned into the car and said something to the driver. Then he straightened and walked towards the door.

What were they talking? Nisha wondered. She knew her father was an amiable person, but some times he had a hot temper. Perhaps the driver has asked for too much money and he must have been negotiating. Or he might be trying to persuade the driver to take him to Worli. “Oh, what the heck,” she thought, “I don’t care about all this.”

Raju’s bulky frame entered the lobby and immediately came face to face with her. He squinted his eyes to adjust his pupils to the comparatively dimmer light inside.

“Ache, let’s go to the room. I am feeling very tired.”

“Ok. Let’s go.” With that he picked up her bag, and walked towards the lift.

They got out at the 7th floor, with Raju leading the way, they turned left. The room was booked by the organizers and confirmed by Raju in the morning. He was allowed to go to the room since she explicitly made a request in her delegation form that her father would accompany her. Now they were in the suite, a moderate one, compared to the Taj standards, while luxurious compared to any other. It consisted of a small living room and a bedroom with attached bathroom and toilet. The living room had a couch and a coffee table. A TV was present in the far left corner of the room and a small, miniature fridge next to it. A telephone was present near the couch, on a small stand.

After using the restroom and freshening up, Nisha declared that she would like to sleep for an hour. It was 2:30 PM and the conference would not start in another hour and a half. She could show up as late as 4:30 PM so it gave her about an hour to catch up on lost sleep, before she took a shower and joined the introduction meeting.

Raju took a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and drank almost half of it. Then he deposited the half-empty bottle back into the fridge and was ready to leave. He explained to her about the facilities in the hotel like the intercom number list, what was the number to get room service or to get an outside line etc.

“Ok Moley. Just bolt the door. I will go and come back with Paappan Achayan.” He was raring to go.

“Ok Ache. Just come back before the conference is over” She said in a tired, sleepy voice.

“Ok. I promise,” with that he left the room.

Once left alone, Nisha had difficulty sleeping. “Was it because of the time difference or the thoughts about Ajit?,” Nisha mused while she turned and tossed in her bed, trying to stave off the thoughts that were coming back with a vengeance. After a few futile attempts to push them off, she resigned with a shrug.

Forsaken - Chapter 12

2011-05-15T14:19:00.000+04:00

Chapter 12
Raju decided to call the drama off. He wanted to speak to Ajit. He wanted to tell him so many things. He could not just let him go. That’s when he decided his next step.

He put his hand on Ajit’s shoulder and called him the name used only by those who loved him.

“Aji.”

He saw the man shudder and let out a funny squeal. As Ajit turned around to see the origin of the sound, Raju saw the eyes. The eyes stared at him from two deep crevices. The face resembled that of a ghost. His jaw dropped. He was not breathing.

For a moment Raju thought the man was having a heart attack. He was not breathing or seeing anything. It was like as though the man was seeing right through him. The blank, wide stare. Then he shook Ajit by his shoulder.

“Aji, it’s me. Raju Uncle.”

The dropped jaw stayed the same, the blank stare remained. But he started breathing.

“I….. I…. don’t know wh..wh..what y..y..you are s..s..aying.” Ajit tried.

“The hell you don’t know. Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t know me.” Raju demanded in an authoritative voice.

“Wh..wh..o are you?” He too tried to bring some rudeness into his voice. But an inner voice told him that it was over. All the while Raju knew who he was. He remembered the incident at the hotel parking lot. Yes. He must have recognized the photograph and put two and two together. There was no defense anymore. It was all over. Fifteen years of anonymity... fifteen years of invisibility, all over.

“So you don’t know me? You don’t know who I am?” Raju was getting worked up. He was getting angry at the man. This fool has spoiled everything. He has done the nastiest thing in the world. He spoiled his daughter’s life and was still trying to hide behind the non-existing façade.
Raju was looking straight into his eyes. He saw Ajit’s facial muscles twitching. Then after a full minute, as reality dawned upon him, the face sank. Finally when he spoke, the voice trembled.

“Please let me go, Raju Achaya,” he spoke in malayalam. From experience, Raju knew that the final defense barrier was broken. He was about to threaten him to bring in the cops, reminding him about the man-missing complaint filed when he went missing. He was about to tell him that along with his taxi registration number, it would be easy to trace him. But none of that was required. The quivering voice pleaded to let go.

“How can I let you go? There are so many things I want to know, I want you to know,” he retorted.

“There is no use. It’s all over. Why? Why do you want to talk to me?” Ajit was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

“Monay, I still love you. That’s why.” Raju’s voice softened.

Ajit wore a resigned look.

“See, I’ll come back within half an hour. You stay here. We will go to some place where we can talk. Ok?” Raju was ready to get out.

Ajit merely shook his head. Raju got out of the car, and as an afterthought, leaned into the car.

“Don’t try to run away.” Raju warned him with his idea about calling in the cops.

Ajit knew only too well. The perennial fear which prevented him from furnishing the D/L as address proof at the hospital came true. His past unearthed. Nothing is going to save him from the humiliation that he is about to be subjected to.

He once again nodded meekly. Raju got out of the car and walked towards the huge glass doors, through which Nisha just disappeared a few moments ago, leaving a paralyzed Ajit right in the car.

Forsaken - Chapter 11

2011-05-15T14:17:00.000+04:00

Chapter 11
“Ok Dad. Enough is enough. Are you going to tell me what happened at the hotel?”

Nisha’s voice brought Ajit back to the present. He quickly realized that he went on a trip down the memory lane, while he was driving mechanically. He has coursed through these roads innumerable times and as if put on Autopilot, he was negotiating the curves and oncoming traffic without knowing it. It was as if the car had its own intelligence and was taking the all too familiar routes by its own.

Raju squirmed and was searching for a right answer. He stopped fiddling with his fingers and looked up from his reverie. All along, he was pondering over the same problem. Now he had to come up with something foolproof. Sensing Nisha’s apparent lack of enthusiasm, due to his behavior, he decided he would have to say something that would satisfy her curiosity.

“Moley, I had a fight with your mom over the phone while you were inside the hotel.” It wasn’t a lie.

“About?” She wasn’t convinced.

Raju thought for a moment. If she could be convinced with this, it may kill two birds with one stone. If he tells her that it was about her not coming home and Susan’s inability to meet with her, the question about the “convince” statement he made at the airport over the phone would also be quelled.

“I promised her that I would convince you to come home. You have told her before your departure that you may not come home this time. So she is upset.” He managed without batting an eyelid.

“So this is what was the convincing me stuff back at the airport, right?”

Bingo! The birds have been killed.

“Yes moley” He struggled to hide the smile of satisfaction from his face.

“I explained her why I couldn’t come. I came here for the Asian Medical Conference, my hospital is paying for my travel and I have to return by day after tomorrow. She knows all this. Why the fuss then?” She was indignant as if they were accusing her of lying.

“She is your mother and wants to meet you. She won’t understand the reasons” he said with a meek expression.

What Raju said wasn’t entirely a lie. Susan wasn’t pleased at all about Nisha’s travel plans. Her question was “If she can travel all the way from London to Mumbai, why can’t she travel to Trivandrum and come home?” She suspected that Nisha is trying to avoid another discussion about marriage hence not coming home.

“Ache, at least you understand my situation. Travelling up to Trivandrum is manageable. But I won’t get much time at home since I have to return so soon. Also it’s been not so long ago. Only six months back I came home.” Nisha looked at her father questioningly.

Raju averted her gaze by looking away. All he has to do now is just let the time pass and get to the hotel. He looked at his watch. It is five minutes to two.

“How much time it will take from here?” The question was directed at Ajit.

Since he was listening to each word that is spoken between Raju and Nisha, Ajit immediately knew it was directed at him. They were crossing the Bandra Bridge. Underneath them, a western railway local train thundered away.

“Another 10-15 minutes, Sir.” Ajit dutifully replied.

So it was time to play the final game, Raju thought to himself. He cleared his throat, steadied himself and sat forward on his seat.

“It was very nice of you to wait at the airport for so long and pick us back.” He said to Ajit.

“It’s ok, Sir.” Ajit replied. He was relieved. At the same time, he was saddened.

Relieved, because of the mounting anxiety throughout the trip was about to end and saddened because Nisha was parting. He would never, ever see those lovely eyes, that wavy, long hair. He would never hear that nasal voice, which once excited him to no end.

He thanked God for giving him an opportunity to see her once more. All his fears came to naught. He managed to remain invisible, yet he could take the immense pleasure of seeing her, listening to her soft, sweet voice. He adjusted the rear view mirror as if to check the traffic behind, but he set it directly towards the side where she was sitting.

He was absorbing the last view of her when Raju asked his next question, which startled him.
“Could you take me to Worli, once we get to the hotel?”

It did not take him a split second to answer.

“I am sorry, Sir; I have to go back now.”

“See, you are driving this cab for money, right? Why can’t you take me?” Raju was determined.
“Ache, why you are going to Worli?” Nisha interrupted Ajit.

“Paappan Achayan expressed his wish to meet you. As you don’t have much time, he said he would come to the hotel.”

“Then let him come. Why you are going there?”

“What will I do once you go for your conference? So I thought, I can go there and kill time.
Moreover, he can’t drive the car, his son is at work. So it’s appropriate that I go there and pick him”

As Nisha fell silent, Ajit guessed it was his turn. But he waited.

“It wouldn’t be long. Once I show her the room, we will be on our way.” Then turning to Nisha, “Moley, you freshen up and go to the Conference. I got the program schedule at the reception. It is in the Banquet hall. Today is just the introduction. They will wrap up the session by 7:00 PM followed by dinner. By that time, I’ll be back.”

Nisha just nodded her head in affirmative. She was annoyed by the weird behavior of her Dad. He never acted this way. She was damn sure that something was going on in his mind.

“Sir, I am really sorry, but I can’t come.” Ajit expressed his unwillingness.

For some time there was no conversation once again. Ajit guessed he wouldn’t be pressed anymore.
He drove up the winding road that leads to the Taj, Land’s End. As he pulled over his car, the concierge, with a Maharaja turban and a red, long shawl draped across his pristine white uniform, opened the door. Nisha got out first.

“Ok Moley, you go and wait at the lobby. I’ll pay him and join you in a minute.” He called out to Nisha.

“Ok Ache” She was visibly tired from the jetlag and all the travel in the hot, humid weather.
She checked her watch. It was quarter past two. She could take a quick nap, she fathomed.
Raju watched Nisha disappear behind the gigantic glass doors. Then he asked Ajit in an even voice.

“So you won’t take me to Worli?”

“I am sorry, Sir. But I have to go the workshop. The car has some problem.” Ajit sensed a change in Raju’s tone. It was friendly all along; despite his deep baritone it never felt intimidating. But now, was there a hint of arrogance? He dismissed the thought. He checked the meter and referred to his card and made a mental calculation. The trip would cost them seven-hundred-and-fifty rupees, plus the waiting charge. Then without turning to face him, he blurted out.
“It’s thousand-two-hundred sir.” I take the extra money as the compensation for all the tension I went through, he decided.

As soon as the thought passed his mind, a strong, masculine hand fell on his shoulder and a booming voice called out his name.

Ajit knew he was tense and edgy and he has a reason to be. But he never thought that such an incident would startle him so much, that a squeal would escape from throat. He jerked from his seat as if he has been struck by a lightning.

Forsaken - Chapter 10

2011-05-15T14:15:00.000+04:00

Chapter 10
Ajit was driving and Johny, after taking a couple of pegs surreptitiously, was in a jolly mood. He kept speaking to Ajit, as if to alleviate the boy’s perennial gloominess. After all, he understood what he had to go through and how the mere mention of his father’s name would terrify him. So Johny never brought up that subject again. Instead he talked about his would-be son-in-law.

“You know Ajit, Benny is an Engineer in one of the American Companies in Dubai”

“Good. Chechy (elder sister) is lucky” Ajit replied.

“Yeah. He is going to take her with him after a few months” Johny said proudly.

Ajit smiled at this. He was not sure what to say. As they reached town, Johny asked him to stop near a cold-storage. Dusk was falling upon the town and the sky was a bright orange at the horizon. Ajit parked the car, in front of the shop and both of them got down. Johny ordered five kg chicken and paid for it at the counter. There was a little delay, the shop keeper informed them, as they have to slaughter the chicken, skin it and remove the innards.

Johny told him to get the finished chicken and wait at the car.

“Where are you going Kochchappa?” Ajit asked him.

“I’ll be right back,” he replied and walked off to the other corner of city.

Ajit took the packets from the counter, neatly packed in multiple plastic carry bags. He deposited the packets onto the back seat and waited. Johny took another fifteen minutes. He was carrying two big, black, plastic carry bags and was holding them carefully.

As they climbed into the car, Ajit heard the jangling of thick glass. He understood it.

“So you went to buy liquor?” he queried.

“Yeah monay, there are all those guests and they wanted to spend the whole night talking, playing cards and this. He raised one plastic bag.

“Umm.. Umm… I’ll tell Gracy aunty.” He teased Johny knowing of Gracy’s disapproval of drinking.
“Oh Monay, please don’t spoil the party,” he playfully pleaded.

Both laughed and started back.

As Ajit pulled over to the front yard, he saw another car, an Ambassador, was parked in the porch. The huge front yard has space for at least another eight to ten cars. The entire house was awash with bright lighting and the freshly-painted exteriors stood out in the dark background. The huge, vase-like, wooden pillar’s polished exterior reflected the light thrown at them. He parked his car parallel to porch, outside of it. As he was rolling the window, Johny got out, put the liquor on to the car floor, and grabbed the chicken packets.

“Aji, Keep these bottles in here. I’ll get it later otherwise Gracy would make a big brouhaha.”
“Ok Kochaappa,” he replied as he locked the car.

As they were making their way into the hall, one of the men who was sitting on the verandah’s half-wall and leaning to a pillar asked Johny.

“Where were you Johny? We were searching for you. Raju has come and was searching for you.”

He turned to see the face of his neighbor George. George was Johny’s helping hand. George knew Raju since they had visited Johny’s home many times during their school years and even after that. Johny and Raju were classmates. Johny studied in Ranny, staying with Kurien’s family, as there wasn’t any school in Ayroor at that time. The three, Raju, Kurien and Johny went to the same school and the same class.

“We went to buy some chicken for dinner. When did he come?” Johny asked.

“They came about ten-fifteen minutes back” He replied while looking around for Raju.

“They? He came with Susan?” Raju was Johny’s close friend, now a wholesale dealer in hardware and ran petrol pumps in the capital city, Trivandrum.

“Yeah. Susan and the daughter, Nisha”

“Oh. I thought that bastard would make some excuse this time too.”

“Monay, could you give this to Gracy aunty. She will be in the kitchen”

Johny called out to Ajit, who was out of earshot. He handed over the packets to Ajit.

Ajit took the packets and headed towards the kitchen.

As he passed through the hall, then to the dining hall, he saw a group of women talking animatedly in the dining hall. Some of them were sitting and munching the left-over Pazham Pori, and sipping tea. He tried to go past without attracting their attention. He almost crossed the dining hall and was about to enter the kitchen when he heard his name being called out.

Without looking back, he replied. “I am coming. Let me put this into the kitchen.”

He handed over the packets to Gracy Aunty who was giving instructions to the numerous servants executing different tasks. One was washing the soiled cups and plates. Another one was grinding the scraped coconuts on the traditional “Ammi,” a sheet of thick, flat rock, coupled with a stony roller. Another one was cutting the fish into small pieces.

She took the packets while asking “Where is Johny Achayan?”

“He is out there talking to someone,” he replied as he tried to make his way out.

She called out after him. “Did you have tea and snacks?”

“Yeah,” he answered and left the kitchen.

The team of obese, chatterbox women were expecting his arrival. Sosamma, the sister of Johny, who had married a planter in Kottayam, was close to the passage and grabbed his hand.

“Why you are so shy Monay? Let us see you. It’s been some time since I saw you.” The arm that grabbed him was completely hidden behind golden rings. Thick, round golden rings. When she moved her hands, it made a mute, metallic clanging sound.

He was pulled into the middle of the group. Then there were the introductions.

“Ayyo, you don’t know him? He is Kurien’s son.” And in a hushed voice, “His first wife’s son.
She died when she gave birth to him.”

Ajit knew they were showing their affection towards him. They were not at all accusing him of his mother’s death as his father did. But somehow, this annoyed him. But he kept quiet, while sporting a foolish grin. Just to satisfy them.

And at that moment, a lady, who was sitting just beside him, stood up, took his hand, and turned him towards her.

“Aji, do you recognize me?” She was sporting a smug smile.

He studied the lady who was standing in front of him. She was thin, wearing a golden color saree, and wore minimal ornaments unlike the other heavysets. Her calm, peaceful voice had a serene quality. Her eyes looked at him with obvious affection.

Yes. It is Susan Aunty. Nisha’s mom. Raju Uncle’s wife.

“Susan Aunty. Nisha’s mom” He whispered shyly.

Raju and Susan were staying close to Ajit’s house. They had a medium-size hardware shop in Ranny. It was when Raju took a franchisee of a well-known hardware brand, they shifted to Trivandrum. It was eight years back.

“Ok. Then tell me who this is.” She turned around, touched the shoulder of a girl, who was sitting near to the cup-board, and playing with two small children.

As the girl turned towards them, Ajit saw her face.

Forsaken - Chapter 9

2011-05-15T14:12:00.000+04:00

Chapter 9
Ajit was firm in his decision. He would return by evening once he dropped Ammachi to his grandfather’s ancestral home. His grandfather, Mr. Thommy Idikkula had passed away even before he was born. Grandfather’s younger brother’s granddaughter was getting married. The place was fifteen kilometers from Ranny. It was a laidback village, with its mud roads and peasant-like neighborhood. The place was called Ayroor. It was here that Ammachi lived after her marriage to Mecheril Thommy Idikkula before they sold his share of property and migrated to Ranny.

As he was leaving for college in the morning, she reminded him about the impending trip to her husband’s ancestral home. It always brightened her otherwise somber mood. Most of the gloom came from thinking about Ajit and his future once she departed for her heavenly abode and he definitely knew about it. So he would not want to spoil her good mood and agreed to drive her there.

He skipped the afternoon session of college, and came home by 2:00 PM. Ammachi was all ready, packed her bags and fully dressed up in her “Chatta and mundu” with a Kasavu Neriath (a traditional Keralite Christian dress). Ajit showered and finished his lunch in haste. Then he went to the garage, removed the parking cover of his father’s Maruti 800. He was aware about his father’s admonition. “If you ever touch the car, I will break your hands.” But Ammachi had insisted and assured him that she would take all the blame, if Kurien ever came to know.

Ajit did not possess a driving licence, but he was confident no policeman would stop him. He had driven this car many a times, mostly taking Ammachi to her relatives or going to church. On a couple of occasions, the police did stop him. But seeing an old woman travelling in the car, they invariably let him go. Ajit’s appearance too helped. He had developed a suggestion of a mustache and had started shaving once in a week. His voice acquired a baritone. He looked much older than his seventeen years.

The wedding was scheduled for Thursday. He could understand why Ammachi was going two days in advance. She had not been there for too long. It’s the time to catch up with old acquaintances and share their life stories. But Ajit was adamant that he would return the same evening and come back to the wedding on Thursday. He had a practice match of cricket the next evening, preparing the college team for the upcoming inter-collegiate tournament.

The drive to Ayroor was uneventful. They reached the Mecheril tharavadu by 3:00 PM. Seeing the car coming in, the host, the bride’s father, came out from his serious political discussion with his guests, to receive them. Johny was in his late forties and was very close to Ammachi, much closer than he was to his own mother. He used to call Ammachi “Aley Kochchamma.”

As Ammachi was climbing down from her seat, Johny came forward to offer his hand. He took her hand and helped her get out of the car. Then they embraced each other.

“Do you still remember the way here?” Johny complained about her not visiting for too long.

“Poda. I am getting older and can no longer travel in bus. What happened to you? You could come there as well?,” she retorted.

“Kochchamme, you know how things are. I have to look after the farms, the house and everything. Not a second to spare.” he expressed his apparent inability to come and visit her very often.

“Ok. Ok. Where is Gracy?” Gracy was Johny’s wife.

“She is in there. Come, I’ll take your bag.” He hoisted her shoulder bag on to his back and walked a few steps along with her. Then he suddenly stopped and turned back.

“Oh! Monay I completely forgot about you. Come on, why are you standing there. It’s your house!” he called out to Ajit.

Ajit was standing next to the car watching the conversation between Ammachi and Johny. Johny Uncle and his father were almost the same age. Johny was very fond of Ajit and was very critical about Kurien’s attitude towards the boy.

He walked back to Ajit, sized him up, and put his hand around his shoulder.

“You have become a man, son!” He exclaimed as he pressed him against his side. “And strong too!”

“Kochappa is not weak either!” Ajit playfully poked him on the rib. Every one in the family was aware about Johny’s weakness. His being extremely ticklish around his ribcage and the mere touch would make him jump. The same happened this time too and he jumped away from him while laughing.
Johny came back raising his palm as if to spank him and gave a playful pat on the boy’s back. “If you do that again, I’ll beat you to a pulp. Do you understand?” He got hold of the boy and together, laughing, they headed towards the verandah, where the others were sitting. They exchanged pleasantries with Ajit. Most of the queries were regarding his studies and some enquired about his father. Whether he would come anytime soon, would he write letters to him etc. He politely answered the queries about his studies, and smiled and nodded for the other ones. His eyes searched for Ammachi. She had already found few of her contemporaries and had started an animated conversation.

Ajit hated to go to any family gathering just because of this. These uncles and aunts and cousins and god-only-knows-who relatives keep asking him about his father’s return. The very topic he loves to hate. He promised himself that he would leave as soon as he got a chance.
Mecheril house was a palatial bungalow. It was built half a century back by the great-grandfather of Ajit, Mr. Idichandy Idikkula. The Patriarch was a feudal lord at his time and owned almost half of that village. As time passed, the next generations sold off portions of the vast empire as Ajit’s grandfather did. As the youngest child, Johny’s father got to keep the house and the others, a proportional share of the properties. The bungalow had huge teak pillars at the front portion, running along the verandah. The floors were relaid with cement and black oxide and polished with tons of egg-white, as Ajit had been told, to obtain a glazing, deep black hue. It had eight bedrooms, a very big hall, which was meant to serve as a meeting place for the patriarch and his family, but now partitioned into two to serve as a dining hall and living room. The ground floor has three bed rooms and the upper one had five.

After putting the bag into a room that was arranged for Ammachi, Johny announced that tea was ready. They all congregated into the dining hall where tea was kept, took a cup each, grabbed one pasham pori (ripe banana dipped into gram flour, and fried) and moved to their respective gangs and continued the discussions. After helping himself to a tea and Pazham pori Ajit ventured out.

Ajit was standing near to the edge of the farthest verandah, when he heard footsteps. He turned back to see Johny coming towards him, a tea cup in his hand. As he has done earlier, he put his free hand, the right one, over Ajit’s shoulder.

“Come, I have to talk to you.”

Ajit obliged by walking with him. They were heading towards the backyard. Once out of everyone’s earshot, Johny asked him.

“So how are your classes going?”

Ajit instantly knew Kochchappa had something more serious than enquiring about his studies. Nonetheless, he answered dutifully.

“Going okay, Kochchappa.”

“It shouldn’t be just okay. Okay?”

“No. I am trying hard.”

“Yeah, I know” He gave a deep sigh and was searching for a right word.

Few moments passed with both of them lost in their own thought.

“I heard Kochchamma telling Gracy about that incident when you broke your leg”

Ajit did not reply. The wounds were still afresh in his mind. The mere thought of that night brought back all the pain.

“He is a creep. You don’t worry. You have us. Okay?” Johny saw the pain in the boy’s eyes, the big feminine eyes.

Ajit felt like crying. He was craving for a touch, a hug, a soothing word from a father-figure. True, Ammachi always was there, but having an assuring touch of a man, the secure feeling when you are enveloped in a strong, masculine hand, can not be substituted with anything else. When he found it, his heart melted. The next moment, he hugged Johny and sobbed.

“Hey, hey, don’t do that. You are a big man. Everything will be all right” he said in a soothing voice while he patted the boy’s back.

They stayed that way for a few moments. Then Ajit wiped his eyes and straightened.

“Monay, you see, He will come to you one day. He will repent for what he is doing now, I am damn sure.”

Johny wasn’t sure things will ever change. He was aware about Kurien’s feelings towards Ajit. The problem was that nobody could admonish Kurien. After all Ajit was his son and Kurien would definitely tell them off.

“Ok. Forget all that crap. Now I want you to drive me to town. I have something to purchase.”

“Kochchappa, I have to go back today. I’ll come back on Thursday morning” Ajit revealed his intention.

“Why? Your wife is waiting there?” He scorned him.

Ajit smiled at this. Then he replied.

“I have to go to college tomorrow. We have a practice match. Our Inter-collegiate tournament is coming up.”

“I know you can do without this practice. You are a good player man. You are not going anywhere.” Johny said.

Ajit tried to convince him. But Johny was adamant and finally Ajit had to give up.
As things unfurled, his life would have been totally different if he would have gone back.

Forsaken - Chapter 8

2011-05-15T14:10:00.000+04:00

Chapter 8
Ranny is a sleepy town on the shores of Pampa, a holy river for the Hindus. The major product of this town was rubber. The endless rows of rubber trees spread across acres of land. An entire work-culture had been developed around this product. The tapping of rubber, or more properly Latex, collection of it, making it into sheets and then smoking it to a golden brown were the procedures involved. The tapping would start early in the morning and collection would follow. Then the white, syrupy fluid is filtered and poured into aluminum dishes, approximately 2 feet long and 1 ½ feet in width. This liquid was mixed with formic acid to transform the liquid into sheets of latex. Then these sheets were fed to a roller, a flat one first, to squeeze out all the water content, making it thinner, then through a helical patterned roller, to make the sheets ready for smoking. The smoke-house, as it is called in Kerala, were in fact smoke chambers, built without a window or ventilation except for a few small rectangular slots at the top where the walls met the roof, had GI pipes running along it’s width to hang these sheets. From an opening through the wall, logs of wood are burned to generate smoke and heat. These sheets of rubber are then sold to the dealers.

The Mecheril House was situated adjacent to the Ranny-Mallapally Street adorned by rubber estates on both sides. Mecheril was an ancient tharavadu who proudly claimed that their forefathers were one of the first Brahmin families converted to Christianity by St. Thomas or Thoma Shleeha, as the saint is known in Syrian Christian denomination. The present generation in this house were Aleykutty, her son Kurien Thomas Mecheril, his wife Molly, and their children Ajit, Anish and Anita, in that order. Kurien was running his business in Dubai for eight years now and had amassed a fortune. Kurien’s wife Molly was assisting him in business, while the two younger children, Anish and Anita were studying in Dubai. Ajit was staying at home with his grandmother Aleykutty.

Ajit’s mother died when he was born. His childhood and early boyhood were a complete struggle. Kurien’s business was just started, they did not own any rubber estates then and Ajit did not even have a good pair of clothing. But as business improved, things became more and more comfortable.

When he was five years old, his father married again. He married the younger sister of his mother. Molly initially was very caring and loving to Ajit, but when she gave birth to Anish, things started changing. She was not outright step-motherly to him, rather she just avoided him. She never acknowledged his presence, or answered his needs. Her world was centered on her own son, Anish.

Kurien’s approach was something very different. He found a perfect scapegoat in Ajit, for everything that went wrong. He blamed Ajit for his wife’s untimely demise, for his failure in business and for everything that went wrong in the house. He punished him severely for even small mistakes Ajit made. His favorite line was “The moment you were born, I started losing.” Once for breaking a drinking glass, he made Ajit kneel down on the verandah for a major part of a night. Hence Ajit hated the days his father was at home and tried to make himself invisible as long as his father was around.

Once Anish started going to school, things become worse. The constant comparison with his half-brother was intolerable. On every chance, Kurien would boast about his younger son. “He has got 1st in every subject” or “You know what my brilliant boy did yesterday? He repaired my clock by himself. Such brilliance at this young age. You see he will become world famous.” Turning to point at Ajit “This fool, he will clean Anish’s toilet, idiot.” The moment he looked at Anish, his face would fill with pride and compassion and the moment he saw Ajit, it would turn dark and contemptuous.

Ajit tried everything possible to please his father. He tried to repair a clock that wasn’t working for more than a month. When he opened and examined the innards, it became apparent that he won’t be able to fit everything back into the clock. This was when Kurien was at home. He did his best to fit everything back, but a few components always remained. Upon learning of his misadventure, Kurien rewarded the boy with a severe beating with his leather belt for spoiling a good clock and cursed him “You could never be like Anish. You are the scum of earth.”

He was an average student. To please his father, he tried to study hard. Whenever his father was around, Ajit would open his book and study. Kurien never noticed or pretend not to notice.
When he won the Painting competition at school, he came home euphoric. The news was conveyed to Kurien who was in Dubai. His response was “Tell that bastard not to waste time in such foolish activities. If he passes the 10th, I would be surprised.”

The most painful incident, both physically and mentally had happened when Ajit was in 9th standard. It was the onset of monsoon and the last days of football for the local kids. Ajit took permission from his father, through his grandmother to play in the nearby paddy field, barren after the harvest. He collided with a player and twisted his right ankle in the process. The leg pained a lot but more than that, he was scared of his father’s reaction. Ajit limped his way back home, despite the excruciating pain, he tried to walk normally as he approached home.
Since it was summer vacation, there wasn’t any scathing verbal attack when he went to his room to sleep. He pretended successfully as if nothing had happened and ate his dinner. But once he turned in, the leg started paining. It was swelled and the pain was ever worse. He tried to sleep. He could not. As time passed by and as each light went out in the house, he was unable to control. He stuffed the bed sheet in his mouth to prevent himself from crying out. The pillow was wet from his tears.

By around 2 ‘o clock in the morning, the pain was unbearable. His ankle resembled a football. He could not see his foot. The whole area was ballooned out. He tried to get up, without aggravating the pain, but wasn’t successful. His grand mother slept in the same room, on the other bed. He softly called out for her through tears.

“Ammachi!”

He had to repeat a couple of times and raise the voice a little bit to wake her up. From the voice, she sensed trouble. She had noticed him since the evening, guessing that something was wrong, but she attributed it to his wariness whenever his father was around.

“What happened?” as she put on the light and came to his bed, she saw that he was crying. She was well aware about his lonely plight and tried to compensate for the absence of love from his parents. Now she was really concerned.

“Ammachi, my leg” He managed through sobs, yet keeping his volume to a barely audible level.

“Oh my God!” She just glanced at the swollen ankle and exclaimed as her hand went up to cover her mouth.

“What happened, Monay, how did you get this?”

He tried to explain the incident at the football field.

“Now what shall I do? It sure looks like a fracture.” She knew about fractures and bruises since her father was an Ayurvedic Vaidyan (Doctor).

“Ammachi, apply some oil or some ayurvedic Kuzhambu. I can’t bear this pain” He was speaking each word with great difficulty.

She tried to caress the injured portion carefully. To the very touch, the boy bounced on his bed. And he let a squeaking wail escape his throat.

That instant, much to the boy’s chagrin, the lights in his father’s room came alive. And he heard his father’s voice, raspy from the sleep.

“What happened, Amme? Who was screaming?”

She took the boys hand, and gave it a loving squeeze to assure him that she would not let his father harm him. Then taking a deep breath, she called out.

“Eda Kuri, you have to come. Ajit’s leg twisted and it is horrible.”

She used the sobriquet ‘Kuri’ as short for Kurien.

Ajit knew only too well that how much his father loves his beauty sleep. Nobody would be dared to wake him up during his afternoon nap, not to speak about in the middle of the night.

He heard him mumbling “The punishment of having a useless, damn son” or something of that sort. His heart started to beat faster.

Kurien came to the room alone. For the first time in his life, Ajit heard his father calling him “Monay.” He could not determine whether it was real or extreme sarcasm.

“What happened, Monay?”

Ajit was in a sitting position, leaning on to the wall with his leg stretched on to the edge of the bed. He was grabbing a handful of bed sheet, as he tried to cope with the pain.

Kurien came to the bed, looked at his swollen leg. Nobody expected the next act.

His right hand came down in an arc motion, connecting exactly with the ankle and made a miffed “thud” sound.

Ajit saw stars. For a moment, he felt like his leg has been severed. There wasn’t any pain, but only an emptiness. His leg did not weigh at all.

The next moment, a sharp, excruciating, mind-numbing pain overcame him. It was like a roaring current of water escaping from a reservoir when it is opened. It started to flow from his toes, and making its way up, up to his forehead. His heart forgot to beat. His lungs stopped working. The whole body was working to tolerate the pain. There was only pain.

Ajit screamed. And he urinated. As the warm wetness spread across his thighs, he fainted.

The next day he woke up in the hospital, Ammachi at his bedside.

Ajit’s leg was on cast. His throat was dry. As he came back to earth, he saw his Ammachi’s face. As the surrounding became clear, he understood where he is. It was a hospital ward. He saw his neighbor, Thankachan, standing next to his bed.

He motioned towards Ammachi for something to drink. He tried to speak, but only a croak came out of his parched throat. She poured a glass of water and held the glass to his cracked lips. He slowly opened them as she tilted the glass ever so lightly.

Ajit learned, from Thankachan who came to visit him in the hospital during his time there, what happened that night after he fainted. After that savage act, Kurien let his contempt loose on the poor Ammachi for spoiling Ajit. And he went back to sleep. Ammachi went to Thankachan’s house, woke him up, and explained everything. Then Thankachan called up one of his neighbor who owns an auto rickshaw and took him to hospital.

Ajit was tempted to ask where his father was but refrained from it. He learned much later, after his discharge from the hospital, that Kurien left for his In-laws house the very next day and came after two days, only to collect his things to go back to Dubai.

Since that incident, Ajit hated his father. Kurien was the least remorseful and kept spanking the boy on several occasions. Ajit made it an art not to come across his father. Whenever he was around, Ajit made himself invisible. This suited both, father and son.

Ajit passed 10th standard with second class. Kurien was as chastising as usual and scorned the boy with his trademark reference to cleaning his brother’s toilet. The only consolation was Ajit would not have to listen to the insult since he never spoke to his father after that broken leg incident. The insults were directed at him, but spoken to Ammachi. The poor lady absorbed all the tongue-lashing but never told Ajit anything.

He joined the St. Thomas College, Ranny for his Pre-Degree. By the second year, he was made the captain of the College Cricket team, an unusual feat since captaincy was always reserved for the degree students. But the coach, Prof. Sathyapalan, realized the abundance of talent in the boy and rewarded him with the captaincy.

Forsaken - Chapter 7

2011-05-15T14:07:00.000+04:00

Chapter 7
Ajit was dead stunned. He could not decipher the look on Raju’s face. Was it recognition? Or just plain surprise to see a grown up man crying like a baby? Did he see the photograph? Did he realize that it was Nisha’s? What was he going to do now? Would he tell Nisha? Thousands of questions passed through his numbed mind. The numbness was not only on the mind. The whole body was numb. He wanted to run away from here. But could not move his hands to turn on the ignition. His vision was blurred. Was it tears that welled up in the eyes? He could not raise his hands to wipe them away.

Ajit sat there, aware about his surroundings, but unable to move. Some time passed and he regained his composure. With his trembling hands, he took out the ignition key and got out of the car. He thought his legs would buckle under him. He took hold of the door handle to steady himself. Another minute passed and the wave of shock subdued. He locked the car and with unsteady legs walked out of the compound, towards the nearby food stall. He took an empty glass from the makeshift rack, and poured himself a full glass of water. He drank the water in one gulp as if he had hit upon an oasis in the desert. Another glass followed by the first one. This time a little slower. He put away the empty glass back on the rack and lit a beedi.

Now he realized that he could not just drive away. The security at the main gate must have noticed him. Moreover Nisha’s bag was there. He could not just park the car and leave, which would attract the attention of the security. He did not want to be branded as a thief.

Ajit puffed hard on his beedi. It was about to go off, but the timely intervention rekindled it. He inhaled deep to calm his throbbing nerves. After a few puffs he realized he had not eaten anything since morning. The timely reminder of the medicine, in the form of a pricking pain in his abdomen has made him to order a Vada Pav. He took a bite from it. It was bitter. He could not swallow it. First he thought of the Vada Pav being old, he threw it into the nearby carton which was serving as a garbage bin. He took another Vada pav and a tea. The taste was same. He took a bite or two, and threw that too to the same waste bin. Then he took out two pain killers from his shirt pocket and downed it with a glass of water. As he was sipping on his tea, he felt better.

Raju’s mind was in turmoil. He could not decide what to do. As he was approaching the main exit, the same security guard who ushered them in a while ago, opened the door wide and gave a smart salute. He was sporting a big grin, showing most of his tobacco stained teeth. Raju dished out a 50 Rs bill from his wallet, handed over it to the security and made his way out.

“Two immediate problems, I must address now,” he said to himself. “First one is what to do with Ajit. Should he inform Kurien? Or should he tell Ajit that he had recognized him? The other one is keeping Nisha uninformed regarding the current problem. She is sure going to demand an explanation for his behavior during the lunch. What am I going to tell her? It must be something convincing.” He thought it would be better to seek Susan’s opinion. He moved to his left, opposite of the car park, stood under a badam tree, and pulled out his cell phone. Before he dialled, he scanned the vicinity, for fear of Ajit overhearing his about-to-happen conversation with his wife. Then he dialled his home number.

Susan answered the phone immediately.

“Hello”

“Hello, Susan, it’s me,” he said in a low voice.

“Where are you? You sound unusual. What happened?”

“We are on our way to the hotel. We stopped for lunch. But there is a problem!”

“What is it? Don’t go around in circles. Just tell me. You both are all right?” There was concern in her voice.

“We both are all right. But I found Kurien’s son”

“Who?” She did not comprehend what he just conveyed.

“Susan, D o you remember Kurien from Ranny, my friend. His son Ajit, who went missing a long time back? I found him”

He clearly heard a gasping sound. For a minute there was no response.

“Susan?”

“Yeah I am listening” her voice cracked. Then came a barrage of questions.

“Did he recognize you or Nisha? Nisha recognized him? What is he doing? How did you find him?”

“I don’t know. He is our driver” he answered.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “So did you speak to him?”

“Sure I did. He is my driver. But I did not tell him that I recognized him.”

“Now what do we do?” She was asking herself as well as Raju.

“I too am confused. What shall I do?” He was hoping she would have an answer.

“I don’t know. You said he is a driver. Right?”

“Yes. And he looks like he is in trouble. I mean his torn clothes and dirty look…” he trailed off.

“Don’t let Nisha recognize him. You know she still has some soft corner for that bastard. He deserves what he got” As God-fearing as she was, she chose a profanity to express her disgust.
“I was thinking the same. But I have to speak to him sometime later. I mean, atleast I owe that much to him”

“You don’t owe anything to him. You don’t have to speak to him. Just let him go and get another taxi for the remainder of your trip” She was now seething with anger.

“Susan I can’t do that. I have to speak to him. He may have erred, but he has had his punishment” Raju still had trouble believing that Ajit would stoop to such low levels and commit that grave crime everyone accused him of.

“I don’t know. You have never paid any heed to my suggestions. Then why did you call me in the first place? Do whatever you like.” She hung up the phone.

“Good advice” Raju smirked and put the cell phone back into his pocket. Now that he had told her that he wanted to speak to Ajit, his mind cleared a little. But this is no place or time to do that. Nisha would come out soon and he did not want her to know about his situation or intention. He devised a plan. He would go to the hotel and take Ajit to Worli on the pretence of bringing Paappan Achayan. Then he can talk to him and later he can return in another taxi along with Paappan Achayan.

He made up his mind and walked towards the nearest shop to buy a cigarette. He was successful in kicking the habit for six months. But now he wanted one really badly.

As he was lighting the cigarette, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Ajit was standing opposite to the road, near a tavern and sipping tea. He deliberately ignored him. As he inhaled the first puff, his throat protested by way of a slight burning sensation and a cough. He coughed once more and cleared his throat. He took another drag and this time it was much better. No cough or burning of the throat. A couple of puffs and he could see Nisha emerging through the doors. He dropped the cigarette immediately for the fear of getting chastised by his daughter. She warned him so many times in the past to quit smoking and made him promise against it. He had tried to keep his promise, until now.

They both reached the car, almost at the same time, him from outside and her from the hotel. She did not utter a word and her face was clouded. She waited at the car to get the door opened since Ajit locked the car when he left. Raju turned to the direction of the tavern to give a yell to the driver but Ajit was already on the run. He quickly crossed the road, and came running towards the car.

Nobody spoke anything as Ajit eased the car out of the gate and into the main road. At the intersection, the light turned red as they approached it. He stopped the car, killed the engine and impatiently drummed on the wheel.

Sixty seconds later, they were on the highway and cruising towards Bandra.

Ajit was sure that something went wrong within the hotel between Raju and Nisha. Both were not speaking now and as he could see in the rear-view mirror, Nisha was sitting at the right side and was interested in the landscape. Raju suddenly found something very interesting with his fingernails and was occupied studying it. There was tension in the air.

Ajit was relatively less tense. He was totally submissive to his fate now. His instincts told him that Raju recognized him. He was not sure about Raju telling it to Nisha. Anyway he did not care much now. This trip will be over in an hour or so and he would never see them again. His mind was somewhat peaceful now. He got a chance to see his beloved Nisha. He heard her speaking. He got a whiff of her perfume. He was content. Asking for anything more would be blasphemy. God gave him something to cheer him up, something to cherish for the rest of his, otherwise forsaken, life.

What a waste of life, Raju said to himself. He was studying Ajit surreptitiously ever since they left the hotel. As he remembers him, he was a cute boy. A rather tall boy for his age. And his eyes were the feature that stood out. It was feminine with long eyelashes. He always thought that the boy would make it big in cricket. Where has that boyish charm disappeared? Where is that cute smile? He loved him like his son. But that single incident changed everything. To be caught red-handed with a prostitute. Why did he do it? He always behaved well. Raju was aware about the feelings between Ajit and Nisha. He was bothered the least since he liked the boy and the social status of both families were on par and more important, they belonged to the same church. But he never shared his feelings with anybody. He was waiting for the appropriate time since both were too young to think about marriage and everything was spoiled by an act of foolishness. Susan was right, Raju said to himself. He deserves it.

The sudden jangle of cell phone woke Ajit from his reverie. It was his cell phone ringing. He pulled out the mobile from his khaki shirt, and checked the caller ID. It was Radheshyam Tiwari, his neighbor in the slum. It was very unusual for Tiwari to spend a buck on calling since he was the reincarnation of Shylock. Ajit owed Tiwari a 1000Rs. It was borrowed when he was hospitalized.

Apprehensively Ajit answered the call.

“Hello Tiwari ji”

“Ajit Bhaiyya, big trouble here” was his opening statement.

Ajit‘s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“Our homes are razed by the municipality bulldozer. They have demolished the entire line”

Fantastic. “Why?” he asked lamely since he knew the reason. The shanties stood on the sidewalk.

“They are clearing up the area. You had to come fast. I have collected all your things and put it at Babaji’s Scrap store.”

As if there were a lot of valuables. He smiled inwardly. He has some soiled clothes and a mattress to sleep. And an old briefcase.

“There is nothing in it. I am like a snail, I carry my home on by back,” he mused.

“Tiwariji, please keep those things there. Even if I rush there, there is nothing I can do. Tell Babaji that I’ll come in the evening and get those things and thanks for what you did” Babaji was an old Muslim scrap-dealer, with his trade-mark white long beard and shaven moustache, whose shop was right opposite to the shanties. Nobody knew his real name and everyone called him Babaji.

“Ok.” The phone went dead.

“So from today I am homeless.” Strangely the thought did not bother Ajit. “I have the car for next two nights and I can sleep in it. By the end of that time, either I could move to some other area, or rebuild the same shanty,” he reasoned. He had done it before.

“Being homeless is not a new feeling to me,” he thought. It was like yesterday. The first time he left his home. “No, it wasn’t my home, it never was,” Ajit thought bitterly.

Forsaken - Chapter 6

2011-05-15T14:03:00.000+04:00

Chapter 6
Ajit let out a sigh of relief as both his passengers got out and walked towards the hotel. He was stifling a cry for too long now. He had to let it out; otherwise it would burst his heart. Something was stuck in his throat. He had to cry. He leaned on to the steering wheel and let an audible wail escape through his throat. His whole body shook violently. Streaks of tears ran down his cheek and nose.

Then as if controlled by an external force, his hands moved to his wallet. He took it out. It was torn at the corners from years of service. He opened the wallet and sat upright. Then with trembling fingers he searched in the front panel of the wallet and pulled out a photograph. An old black and white passport size photograph.

A fifteen year old girl smiled at him from that photo. It was faded, and lost the print at corners. Still the face was intact, with those wide, jet black eyes smiling at him. It was Nisha.

It was one of the two possessions he kept from his past. The other was his Driving Licence. He kept both the things with him all the time. One was feeding him, and the other brought the sweet memories associated with it. He lovingly caressed the photo with his fingers. It was like old times. He ran his fingers over her eyes, over her nose and over those lips. He raised the photograph to his face, and lovingly kissed it.

Suddenly he saw movement at his side which startled him. The photograph slipped from his hand and fallen to his lap. It fell with its printed side up. He raised his eyes to see Raju standing there.

Within a fraction of a second, blood drained from Ajit’s face. Raju was just standing there, a blank look on his face. Ajit was not sure whether Raju saw the photograph. As soon as it fell, he covered it with his hand. He frantically searched for some thing to say. Nothing came to mind.

Raju stood there saying nothing. He came back from the lobby to call his driver for lunch. While walking back to the car he thought about calling him to hotel, then decided otherwise. He decided to give him some money and tell him to go to some small hotel. Or he could get a take-away from the hotel and deliver it to the car. This is not because he was ashamed about having lunch with the driver, but he thought the driver, being the poor guy he was, would be intimidated by the star-hotel and may not be able to eat the dishes on offer.

As he approached the car, he saw the figure resting his head onto the steering wheel. Poor guy, he thought, must be exhausted with all this driving. Then he noticed the shaking of the body as if he was sobbing. As he came closer to the car, he stood there, frozen in his step. He clearly saw the guy crying the hell out of him. As Raju stood there watching, the driver reached for his pant’s back pocket, took out a wallet and pulled out something from it. It looked like a piece of paper first. He was whispering something and was caressing the paper. And he raised it, and lovingly kissed. Definitely the guy was not aware about him standing there. Then Raju saw what was in his hand.

Raju was shell shocked. The driver was holding a photograph of his daughter. An old photograph. Then the reality hit him like a train. To make sure, he came a little closer to the driver. At that instant, the driver looked up, dropped the photograph and covered it with his hand. But that split second was more than enough for him. There was no mistake. It was Nisha.

So that’s him. Kurien’s son. Ajit. Fifteen years ago, he went missing. He could not believe his eyes. The smart, young Ajit that he remembered was nowhere. Not the slightest resemblance. If it had not been for this photograph, he would have never recognized him. But now everything was crystal clear.

He could see that he had startled the driver. His face looked like that of a corpse. Even if you would prick him with a needle, not a single drop of blood would come. Raju could see the mortal fear in Ajit’s eyes. He had seen it before.

Raju was not sure about the feeling he was experiencing. Was it anger, pity or guilt? What should he do? Should he let him know that he had recognized him? Then he recalled how meticulously this guy was avoiding questions about his original place and how he pretended to be from UP. “May be he has recognized me and wants to prevent my knowing the truth. So if I tell him, he may run away and I may never see him again,” he calculated.

“Were you crying?” he asked as if nothing has happened. It took a lot of effort to show ignorance.

“Nn..o sir” Ajit stammered.

“Are you all right? I came to invite you for the lunch. Would you like to join us?” he was speaking in malayalam.

“N…o. I… I…. .” He could not say anything.

“It’s ok. Do you want some money so that you can go and have something to eat from outside?” Raju was surprised that he could control his emotions the way he did now. Acting was never his forte. His face was the mirror-image of his mind. But now, he summoned the courage and control somehow.

“N…o Sir, I.. I… have money, I’m j…ust fine” Ajit managed.

“It’s your wish” with that he walked back.

Raju was perplexed about what to do next. He had definitely liked him as a boy. At one time he thought Ajit and Nisha would make a nice pair. He harbored the ambition of their match but never told anybody. But now he can’t let Nisha see this guy. He realized Nisha’s reluctance for marriage was definitely linked with him. At this stage, if she sees him….

He was still pondering the next move when Nisha shook him by the shoulder.

“Ache, where were you? You haven’t eaten anything”

It took a little time to realize that he was sitting in the restaurant with his daughter.

“Well, Nisha I don’t feel like eating. You finish the lunch. I’ll wait at the lobby”

“Dad, you are acting weird. What’s the issue?” When she was really angry with him, she called him Dad.

“Nothing Moley” he tried to bring as much compassion into his voice as possible. “It’s just a little head ache. Perhaps it was this long ride in the taxi. You finish lunch. I’ll wait outside.” He never left his daughter alone in any place. But she is a big girl now. He needed some time to think.

He did not wait for her response. He pulled out some cash from the wallet, put it on the table and left a bewildered looking Nisha, yanked open the door and walked out into the blazing sun.

Forsaken - Chapter 5

2011-05-15T14:01:00.000+04:00

Chapter 5

“Ache, you have to tell me what you meant when you said convincing me” Nisha asked her father.

“Nothing Moley” he tried to evade her query. Let Paappan Achayan join him in the evening, and then he could present the case. Alone, he was afraid, he could not argue with her. She will have her way with him.

“No. You have to tell me.” She was adamant.

“Listen, the driver understands malayalam, so I can’t speak anything now.”

Raju whispered in her ear.

“Is he a malayalee?” She matched his tone.

“I think so, but he denies it.”

“But you are going to tell me what it is when we reach the hotel. Okay?” She demanded.

“Done” He had no intention of telling her without Paappan Achayan’s presence.

Raju has decided that somehow, they have to make her agree for marriage. This was a precarious subject whenever he brought it up. In the beginning, she made excuses, “Let me complete my specialization” and “Let me start my career” etc. Of late, she avoided the subject altogether with a blunt “I am not ready now. I’ll tell you when I am ready.”

He remembered her childhood. It was Acha’s word that was final for her. Even if she wanted a pen, it would have to be Acha’s selection. Until he agreed, she would never buy / accept anything. Since her migration to UK, some thirteen years back, the differences in opinion were growing. He understood the root cause of her hesitation but it has been a long time. Time heals all the wounds. This is too much of a time.

In line with the customs of the Christian community in Kerala, the girls have to be married off by twenty-six. Within one year they have to produce an offspring. Otherwise, every other person would enquire about the same thing.

“Any good news?” and if the answer was no, then the next salvo is fired.

“You should consult a good doctor. I know of this doctor who is a friend of my daughter-in-law’s friend’s friend, who knows him personally. You shouldn’t wait any longer” goes the line.

He was tired of answering all his relatives, friends, parishioners about why his daughter was not marrying. He had his personal ambitions too. Since she was the only child, who would continue his blood line? He has worked really hard in his young days and amassed a decent amount of wealth. It was enough for two generations and where will it all go once Susan and he die? And the painful urge to be a grand-father, to cradle his grand child in his hands, to hear it calling him “Apacha” (grand father), to see it growing up, how would it all be fulfilled if she is not marrying? So this time he had come prepared. He had called up his cousin, who was settled in Worli, a major township in Mumbai, years ago. He was in his late 70’s and Nisha shared a good rapport with him. He was determined to bring him to the Taj and let him talk her into marriage.
Two months back, when he had almost given up hope that Nisha would ever marry, a new alliance had come up through his parish Vicar. The proposals had stopped coming lately. The boy hailed from an old Orthodox (a Christian denomination), wealthy family from Kottayam. Subin George was his name and he too was working in the United Kingdom as a Doctor. The two families spoke to each other, exchanged photographs of the would-be bride and groom and both families liked what they saw. Since she was the only child nobody spoke about the dowry, a common impediment in many a proposal, if the families were not that well-off. Subin’s family knew that Raju was affluent and all his riches will be Nisha’s after his lifetime. Moreover the girl was also a doctor, working in UK, so it sounded like a match made in heaven. Raju thought Nisha could not possibly resist this. But when he tried to speak to her regarding this alliance, she hung up the phone. Hence, Paappan Achayan had to come into the picture.

Ajit was listening to every bit of conversation that was taking place behind him. Every nerve in his body was throbbing. That sweet, nasal tone of her voice hadn’t changed after all these years. It still sounded the same way it used to be. He was taking in every sound, every gasp and every breath she let out. So many times he controlled the urge to turn back and look into her eyes and scream “Nisha, I am your Aji.” His heart was beating furiously in his throat. He was afraid that any time, he will loose control and will do something stupid. That’s when the conversations stopped and for a long while nobody spoke. Then once again, the soft voice of Nisha could be heard.

“Ache, I am feeling hungry. Let’s have something to eat” Nisha’s voice brought Raju back to the present.

“Ok Moley” He agreed and called out to Ajit. “Will you please stop at any good hotel?”

Ajit did not dare answer. He shook his head in affirmative. He was terrified that she could recognize his voice. During those countless phone conversations she told him many times about it.

He would playfully change his voice and pretend to be somebody else while calling her. Not a single time he succeeded. Every time she caught him with the first “Hello” itself. Then he would ask how could possibly she recognize his voice.

“Aji, I may forget my voice, but I could not forget your’s. It’s ingrained in my heart” She would always reply.

They were crossing the busy Chakkala Junction. On their right, a beautiful statue of St. Mary stood in the compound of Infant Jesus church. Nisha and Raju crossed themselves and said a silent prayer. Ajit took a left turn from the main road and after about hundred meters, turned into the parking lot of a hotel.

The Windsor Palace hotel was relatively empty. They got out of the car and headed towards the main door. That’s when Raju remembered the driver too hadn’t eaten anything.

“I’ll go and ask the driver to come with us” He said to Nisha and walked back.

She waited in the lobby, just standing there and looking around. The place was freshly mopped and a faint smell of some good cleanser lingered in the air. The lights were matching the ambience and the restaurant could be seen through a glass wall. On both sides of the glass door, the Windsor Palace name and emblem was printed. White-uniformed waiters, with their inevitable order book in hand, were standing around. Only a handful of people were present in the restaurant. Two uniformed men waited there by the door.

“Can I help you Ma’am?” A man came to her from behind the counter. He was wearing a white shirt, black pants and suit and a red tie, with yellow stripes. He wore a rimless glass and was clean shaven.

“Thank you, I am waiting for somebody.” She replied pleasantly.

“Ok Ma’am, if any assistance required, please let me know” He walked back to his seat.

It took another five minutes before Raju returned alone. He wore a confused look. The creases on his forehead were more accentuated. He turned back to the direction of the car as he entered through the door. The security man opened the door for him followed by a smart salute.

“Why you took so long? And where is he?” Nisha enquired.

“Huh?” Raju appeared shaken. He looked at her blankly.

“Ache, I asked why you took so long. And the driver is not coming?”

“Well, yeah. Nothing. I did not see him. He must have gone for his lunch outside somewhere.”
There were a row of street side vendors selling, Vada Pav, a Mumbai version of Burger and other eatables.

“Ok. Let’s go and have something to eat. I am famished” Nisha led the way to the restaurant. The uniformed waiter, who was standing at the door, opened the door with a “Good Morning Sir, Good Morning Ma’am.”

“Good morning” She reciprocated as they passed him.

They sat at a corner. A waiter suddenly appeared beside their table and presented them with the menu.

After studying the Menu, they ordered.

During lunch, Raju was unusually quiet. He frequently turned back, looked towards the car park and appeared to be in deep thought. Nisha found this silence annoying, but she refrained from asking, knowing her Dad only too well. She knew that when he was really disturbed, he wouldn’t want to be aggravated. He would calm down eventually and tell her what was bothering him. So she too ate in silence.

Forsaken - Chapter 4

2011-05-15T13:58:00.000+04:00

Chapter 4

While Ajit was driving to the Airport, after agreeing to pick Raju & Nisha back to the hotel, they exchanged cell numbers. It was Ajit who explained about the parking system in Chatrapathi Sivaji Airport, popularly known as Sahar Airport. The Taxis are not allowed to park at the upper terminal, where all the international flights arrive. So he had to park the car at the bottom level and asked Raju to call once his daughter came out. He dropped Raju way before the scheduled arrival and took the cab to the lower level. He parked the car, raised the windows and sat there. It has become very hot outside. But still he preferred it this way. He took out two pain killers from the shirt’s pocket and swallowed it. The long drive had caused uneasiness in his stomach. He felt the pricking pain within his upper abdomen.

“It’s growing fast. We have to remove it” The doctor has said.

“Doctor, I have nobody here if I go for surgery. Is there any other way?” He enquired.

“None. You go for surgery and then we can try chemotherapy.” Since he was alone, the doctor chose to reveal the exact nature of it to him.

“You have very little time. It’s already spread to vital organs and is in secondary stage. Even if we go for removal, it’s only a 50-50 chance. But let’s hope for the best and do it.”

That was some three months back. A slight persistent pain, usually in the mornings had caused him to visit a local doctor, who, after initial examination suggested Gastric problems and treated him for a month. When the pain did not ease, he referred the case to the Bandra Government Hospital, which was a big hospital. There they diagnosed it as cancer.

“I have nobody,” he had told his doctor. In a sense it was true, but a complete lie as well. “I have everybody. Or rather I had everybody. Did I do the correct thing in running away? What if I had not run off and instead chose to face the wrath of father? He might have punished me severely, but still I could have had a life. But an 18-year old wasn’t thinking about the consequences. The only thing he was thinking was about the pain and the humiliation.”

And now life has completed a full circle. It had started from Nisha. It probably will end very soon. He never thought he could see her again. Not in this lifetime. But miraculously Nisha was coming back. Not to his life, true, but at least a chance to see her.

Sweat was running down all over his body. Big drops of sweat formed on his forehead and found its way down to his chin, through the stubble-filled cheeks and dropping down to his shirt. His head started to pound. The pain has subdued a little but still the uneasiness was giving him much discomfort. He partially opened the window and let the breeze come in. Ajit rested his head on to the steering wheel.

He was riding the bike. A Yamaha RX100. It was the must-have for any young man of his age. But he could never dream about one, let alone owning one. This one belonged to Raju uncle, his father’s close friend. A young Nisha was riding pillion with him, her slender hands resting on his shoulder, grabbing his shirt as if afraid of touching him. He was showing off his skills on riding, by taking off both the hands from the handle. She was admonishing him, not to speed or show any stunts. As the speed increased, she frantically pulled at his shirt, urging him to slow down. He was gaining immense pleasure in scaring her. She was screaming into his ear, pleading him to stop. But he wouldn’t. She was screaming and screaming until he woke up to find that it was his mobile that was ringing.

It was his new customer, once his beloved Uncle Raju. He pressed the Accept button and put the phone to ear.

“Hello, Can you come up now. Let’s go” The voice at the other end asked him.

“Yes Sir” Ajit replied and hung up as he started the car.

Forsaken - Chapter 3

2011-05-15T13:19:00.003+04:00

Chapter 3

The flight from London had landed thirty minutes back. Dr. Nisha was waiting for her luggage to emerge from behind the dark curtained wall. Around the conveyer belt, people were milling around, eyeing each piece of luggage. Those who identified their luggage heaved it up and put it onto the waiting trolleys. As they left, others joined in the crowd. Finally Nisha located her trolley-bag coming out of the hole. She picked it up, pulled out the wheel liver and started walking.

She was 5’7,” worked out three times a week in a gym and conscious about her diet. As a result, she did not look her age. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, even though she was thirty one.
She walked with an air of exuberance and dignity. As she walked out of the main exit, she scanned the waiting crowd for her father. Finally she saw the hand waving at her. He was standing near the exit ramp, his face lighting up once she made eye contact.

They embraced each other. They stood there scrutinizing each other a few minutes. Then laughing at their own impish nature they embraced once again. This was their customary hello. Both had the same things to say.

“Acha, you have put on weight. You are not following the diet and your cholesterol level must be sky-high!”

“Mole, you don’t eat anything? You have become thinner than the last time. How do you manage to go to work?”

According to Raju, the sign of well-being was being obese. If you were thin, it meant you were not well-off. The health-conscious that Nisha was, she never approved of his dietary habits, his love for eggs and red meat. At the end of the debate, he would shrug off her criticism by saying “I have lived a good life. Now if God calls me, who cares.”

He took her luggage and started walking away from the crowd. They stopped at the near-by coffee vendor and ordered two coffees. After taking a sip, he pulled up his cell phone and dialed home. Susan answered at the first ring, as if she had been waiting for it.

“Hello”

“Susan, Nisha just came out”

“Then why are you talking? Give it to her” Susan answered with all the anxiety that was eating her.

“Here, your mom is on-line. Now she doesn’t want to speak to me.” He said humorously.

“Hello Amma”

“Hello Moley, How was your flight?” She enquired.

“Flight was okay, Amma. How are you? Why did not you come with Acha?”

“I can’t travel that far Moley. You know I have all kind of problems, arthritis, High B.P. etc. When are you coming home?”

“Amma, I’ll speak to you later. Right now I am tired and I have a conference to attend this afternoon. Please don’t mind. I’ll give it to Acha.” She handed over the phone to Raju.

“Yeah Susan. I am taking her to the hotel now. The conference starts at 4:00 PM. Once that is over, I’ll try to convince her.”

Nisha was eyeing her father quizzically now. Convince?

He spoke softly into the phone for a couple of minutes and then hung up.

“What was that Ache? Convince me?” She quizzed as she threw the empty cup into the steel garbage bin.

“Nothing Moley. Let’s call up the driver. He is parked down there. Here parking is not allowed” as he was speaking, he started dialing. He was not yet ready with the subject. Every time they raised the subject about her marriage, the debate ended in some sort of a fight. She always stood her ground and they had to concede to her arguments. But not this time. He had a plan. The phone rang at the other end and it continued for full eight rings and got disconnected.

“What happened, he is not answering” Raju told her.

“Let’s catch a cab from here. There, one cab is coming and it is empty,” she said.

“No. I had paid him extra money. He said he will wait and take us back to hotel.”

“Ache, how could you believe a taxi driver? He must have gone away with the extra money”

“No. I don’t think he will do that. After all he will earn double that amount if he takes us back to the hotel. Let me try once more.” He pulled up the call-log and redialled the number.

This time Ajit answered the call.

“Hello, Can you come up now. Let’s go” Raju spoke into the phone.

“Yes Sir” Ajit replied and hung up as he started the car.

Forsaken - Chapter 2

2011-05-15T13:18:00.001+04:00

Chapter 2

“These fellows are all weird” Raju said to himself. He had made deliberate attempts to make conversation with his driver few times. But the response was not very encouraging. Whenever Raju was travelling outside his native place, he was a little apprehensive. He thought of all these shopkeepers and taxi drivers as people with devious minds, out to cheat whoever they identified as an outsider. So in order to make them a little conscientious, he always tried to make friends with them. But this fellow was very aloof, resisting all his friendly gestures with his evasive silence.

“He is so peculiar. He doesn’t look like an UPite, people who hail from Uttar Pradesh. Despite his accent, he looks like a south Indian.” Somewhere from his demeanor, Raju could sense a south Indian trait. Since he travelled a lot around India in his business days, he had seen and interacted with people from almost all the states. The way this guy pronounced ‘R’ in Hindi, was not the way people from UP or Bihar pronounce it, they said it as ‘D’. He once again tried to make small talk, just to kill time.

“So is this your own car?.” He knew most of the cabbies didn’t own their cars, but would use it on hire.

“Ji Nahi” (No sir). There he goes again. The H is very silent in that word. He pronounced it like “Nai.” UPites always pronounce ‘H’ with high emphasis.

Raju decided to play a game.

“Have you ever been to South India?”

“Nahi”

“Where are you from basically?”

“Sir, I would like to concentrate on driving rather than talking and invite an accident” The driver retorted in Hindi.

So he doesn’t want to talk. Raju tried to kill time by studying his driver. As he could see from the back seat, the driver had a suggestion of a beard. Like he hadn’t shaved for about two weeks. He looked so frail and vulnerable. Raju checked his watch. It was ten past ten in the morning, like they showed it in watch advertisements. The weather had changed from cool December morning to a warm mid-morning and the driver was perspiring. A streak of sweat ran down his cheek, which he brushed away with his left hand.

They passed Vile Parle and were about to turn to the Swami Narayan Temple junction. All of a sudden the traffic came to a halt and Raju could see the road was completely blocked. At the beginning of the block, he could see one wheel barrow lying on the road and its luggage, huge gunny bags, disengaged from the bound and scattered around the road. Many people were crowding around the pavement.

“What happened sir?”

Raju asked a passer-by who was just now chased away from the scene by a lone constable who was unsuccessfully trying to dissipate the crowd.

“Accident. Teen ladkiyon ko ek carwallah maar diya” (Three girls were run over by a car) he answered and started to move. Then he stopped once again to explain a little more.

“The car came from the other side and hit this wheel barrow and spun to the sidewalk where these girls were walking. It dragged all the three for about 50 meters. Those guys ran away. Rascals!” with a satisfied smile that he has discharged his civic duties, he joined the crowd who was standing on the opposite sidewalk, just to observe.

“Oh my God! People are witnessing a horrible accident-scene and passing by as if nothing has happened?” Raju exclaimed.

“This is Mumbai, Sir” Ajit stated matter-of-factly, in Hindi “Here we see death, be it by accident or murder, every passing hour. You know, every day at least ten people die from local train accidents, right in front of many people. Gangsters kill for money and revenge. We are kind of used to it now and shrug of these incidents as if they had never happened.”

“But this is disgusting. I mean people don’t have any emotions?”

“If you show compassion, try to help them and in case the victim dies on the way to hospital, you will be harassed by the police or will be spending the next two to three years in the courts as a witness. Anyway who has time for all these? Everybody is busy”

“Jesus Christ! If they are alive, can’t they be saved?”

“That’s the duty of the police. They will come and get them to a hospital.”

“You guys are cold-blooded. No sympathy towards a human life.” Raju was shaking visibly. He could not stand the thought of three young girls, lying in a pool of blood, pleading silently to those deaf ears, to save their lives.

“Shall we take them to the nearest hospital? If you help me, we can get them to the hospital”

“Sir, you came to receive your daughter. Do it, mind your business only” Damn it! Ajit suddenly bit his tongue. He knew he made a big mistake.

“Hey how do you know that I am going to receive my daughter?” Raju questioned.

Ajit searched for an answer. None came to mind.

Raju was eying him suspiciously. He knew it. He could feel those big eyes sizing him up.

“I know a little bit of malayalam. I heard you speak on the phone” Ajit tried without much conviction.

“How do you know malayalam? I mean you said you have never been to Kerala.” Raju was not leaving it at that.

“I have few Keralite friends. I learned from them”

Fortunately, Raju did not pursue the issue. As they waited, they heard the wailing siren of an ambulance.

“Ok. I think the traffic will move now. Ambulance is on its way”

Within few minutes the police had cleared the road. He put the car in motion and eased into the highway.

They passed Andheri without any further incidents.

“Could you do me a favour?” Raju asked in Malayalam.

“What?” His response was in Hindi.

“Could you wait until she comes out and pick us back to the hotel?”

Ajit hesitated. So far he was lucky despite his slip-up. His luck may not last long. Moreover Nisha in the car. That thought horrified him. Even if Raju recognized him, he could stand it. But Nisha, he could not allow her to see him in that condition. The visible signs of poverty, the dirty, worn out clothes and above all, the humiliation. He could not face her.

Then another thought occurred to him. If he has any resemblance of his old self, Raju could have recognized him. The struggle of fifteen years has made him un-recognizable. It was like being hidden behind an invisible curtain. They could see his silhouette, but never recognize the man behind it, like in a shadow-play. Time and the struggle had erased the last traceable link from him. Ajit started to gain his confidence and thought about the money in offer. He could charge them a thousand. Or maybe a thousand five hundred. Plus a last chance to see Nisha once more.
The voice of Dr. Kulkarni from Bandra Govt. Hospital rang out in his ear.

“You have to get admitted in the hospital right away Ajit. The growth is spreading. Stop drinking and smoking and get admitted as soon as possible. We may not have much time.”

But he could not stop drinking. If he did not drink, he could not sleep. The ghosts of the past would haunt him for hours in the night. May be this is a God-sent opportunity to see Nisha, who was once his life.

“Okay, but you will have to pay for the waiting time and return trip.”

“No problem”

The thought of seeing Nisha has pepped him up since he has made up his mind. He wouldn’t face her. Ajit promised himself that he will take extra care in not showing his face to her. He felt more comfortable now than when he had started the trip. “My Nisha! After all these years, I get to see her once more. How would she look like?” He remembered her as a lean, fair fifteen year old girl. Now she would be in her thirties. Even after all these years, that one face never faded in his memory. Every day and night, he thought of her, thought of the dreams they once had. The pure bliss he experienced whenever he saw her, the dimpled smile and the long wavy hair that gave him reason to live for.

As always, two tears rolled down his cheeks at the thought of Nisha. Of late, he wasn’t thinking about her very often. Ever since he learned of his illness, he was somewhat pre-occupied with it. He was scared. What lay in store for him? How would be the last days and where he would spend it? The cancer has spread its tentacles to his liver and kidneys. Every day when he would go to sleep in his drunken stupor, he thought it was his last day. The painkillers were numbing the pain, easing a little bit but not killing it completely.

The Doctor suggested that he get himself admitted in the Government-run medical college, where he could get treatment free of cost. But still it would require a lot of money for medicines and diagnosis. The doctors demand bribes for everything. To avail of the free-treatment, address proof documents were required like ration card or driving licence. The perennial fear of someone from his family or friends finding out ruled him away from furnishing his D/L as proof. And he did not have enough money for the pain killing tablets, let alone the treatment. “So here I am, driving a rented cab, trying to feed myself, and buy the cheap pain killers to cut the days,” he thought to himself. He knew that this could not go on for long and very soon, he had to surrender to his fate. But he would not surrender to cancer, bearing all the pain. He was determined that at the first sign of unbearability, he would end his life. And he only knew too well, that the day was not very far.

“Nisha, here I come, to see you for the last time,” he said to himself and accelerated.

Forsaken - Chapter 1

2011-05-15T13:17:00.001+04:00

Chapter 1

“Kitna hua?” (How much?) The Marvadi sett (people who are from Marvad, Rajasthan are known by this name and generally into Pawn brokering and Jewellery businesses) asked him.

Ajit checked the taxi meter and consulted the rate card. “One hundred and thirty, Sett.” The taxi meter has always annoyed Ajit. In Mumbai, the taxis had a peculiar meter. It did not show the fare amount. Instead it displayed an index like, 3.5. 4.4. Either the driver had to commit it all to memory, or refer the card on which all the indexes and respective rates were printed.
“What? I did not ask the price of your car.” The passenger scorned him.

“Settji, you check the meter and here is the card.”

“You cabbies are all alike. You know how to loot poor people”

The Marvadi sett was searching for a hundred rupee in his thick wallet, filled with five hundreds. He pulled out a hundred.

“This is enough. Okay?”

Damn it! The first trip is going to be a fighting one. Ajit tried to ebb the flame that was simmering within him.

“Settji, I only asked what is there on the meter. I don’t want to create a scene here. Give me 130 rupees.”

It took another five minutes and a slight altercation to collect the extra 30 rupees from that poor man, who wore seven gold rings round his fingers and many gold chains around his neck.
Ajit was driving aimlessly in the general direction of Bandra railway station, in the hope of picking up a long-distance trip when his cellphone rang. He took out the phone from his pocket - the phone that Chandrakant had sold to Ajit for 500 rupees, when he had bought a new, expensive one.

Chandrakant was his boss, the owner of this car. He met him through another Keralite taxi driver who used to drive this car. When he bought a second-hand car, he had introduced Ajit to Chandrakant. The deal was to pay Rs.3000 a month as rent. He had to take care of petrol and maintenance and had to return the car everyday to Chandrakant.

He saw the caller ID and saw his boss’ name on the monochrome screen. A foreboding feeling dawned upon him, since he knew why Chandrakant was calling.

“Hello Bhai” (Hello Brother)

“Where are you now?”

“I am near Bandra Railway Station”

“I was in a hurry in the morning, so could not ask you this. Where is the money?”

“Bhai, I….. I…” Ajit stuttered.

“You know I am very particular about financial dealings? Every month 20th is your day. Last month also you gave half the money. I said Ok. Now what?”

“Bhai, the car had to be repaired for a gear box problem. So I lost a lot of money in that. I’ll pay within a week”

“Within a week? I’ll return from Kolhapur day after tomorrow. I want the money then, or the car will rest at my garage, and you, in a hospital”

“I’ll pay bhai. I’ll pay”

“You better pay.” The line went dead.

“Beautiful start to the day” Ajit cursed under his breath. Chandrakant meant business. He was the local goon. If he had threatened to break a leg, you could be sure of that, plus a rib or two as a bonus.

He picked up another fare from Holy Family hospital stop. This one was a neatly dressed old man, who resembled Sunil Dutt, the yesteryears hero of Bollywood. He wanted to go to the Taj, Land’s End Hotel. Ajit put on the meter and drove towards the hotel.

“How am I going to pay Chandrakanth?” Ajit asked himself. “This month the due has become 4500 Rs., If I drive day and night for the next two days, maybe, if really lucky, a 1000 could be managed… the rest?”

He was still pondering the current problem when he reached the hotel. The passenger paid him off without any fuss. As the old man was getting out from the car, Ajit heard a voice calling.

“Taxi!”

Ajit turned his head to see a man coming out of the hotel lobby.

“This may be my lucky day, I guess.” He smiled inwardly. “If this is the trend, I could make that 1000 today itself. God is not that cruel after all. He knows this is the only livelihood I possess, and he may be kind enough to let me make a few quick bucks by which I can silence Chandrakanth. At least for a month” , mused Ajit.

The man opened the backdoor and got into the taxi. Ajit put the vehicle in motion and waited for his fare to announce the destination. He took to the main road from the hotel driveway. Still no word from the man. Fortunately, as the hotel’s name suggests, it is situated on a dead end of the road. The other side was the ocean. So he kept driving for a couple of minutes more, while studying the man in the rear-view mirror. He must be in his early or mid-sixties, Ajit estimated. He could only see the man’s face. It looked familiar. Thousands of faces travelled in this taxi. This face may belong to anyone of them, he reasoned. But no! This face looks familiar by every passing minute. “Where have I seen him? Damn it! As long as he is giving me a good trip, I don’t care.” He tried to pacify his curiosity by this argument and concentrated on driving.

“Kahan jaana hai saab?” Ajit ventured after a few minutes.

“Oh I am sorry. I forgot to tell you. Airport” the fair replied in a deep baritone.

“Kaunsa Airport sir? Sahar or Santacruz?” Sahar was the International Airport and Santa Cruz was the Domestic one. Santa Cruz was near by, whereas Sahar would fetch him a good amount.

“Sahar Airport.” The fair replied.

“This indeed is a good day. Sahar Airport will fetch around 400 Rupees. After all the day is not that bad.” Ajit thought while negotiating a sharp curve.

Suddenly a malayalam Christian Prayer song rang out in the Car. Ajit was aghast for a minute since the music was so loud and sudden. It was the man’s cellphone.

“Hello, Susan, Njan Airport le povukayanu.” The man answered his phone in malayalam.

Now Ajit was completely scared. The man was speaking Malayalam. He was a Keralite. It had been fifteen years since Ajit had left Kerala, but still he got that shiver down his spine whenever he saw his fellow natives or heard anything in malayalam. The fear that someone would recognize him.

“Illa. Njan correct time ne ethum. Mol vannittu njan angottu vilikam. Ok?” (No, I will reach in time. Once daughter comes out, I’ll call you back). The man spoke into his phone and hung up.
So he is going to pick his daughter who is coming from god-knows-where. Ajit thought. Now he studied the face in the rear-view mirror more closely. The nagging feeling about the familiarity is starting to annoy him. This face is really very familiar. The man had thick eyebrows and a long scar running just next to his left eyebrow.

Nooooo! His mind screamed as he braked hard. The car screeched to a halt in the middle of the road. There was a miffed thud from the back as the vehicle right behind his car just collided with his.

“This is Raju Achayan. Nisha’s father!” Ajit’s mind screamed. (In Malayalam, Achayan is a word used to address elders in the Christian community)

The honking from behind was unbearable. Ajit did not even bother to check whether anything was broken. He pulled over the car to the side.

“What happened?” The man asked from the backseat. It was obvious that he was surprised at this sudden halt.

Ajit did not bother to answer as he got down from the car to examine the damage. He needed to catch his breath. The long scar. The thick, bushy eyebrows. The booming voice. Oh God! Why now?
As Ajit bent down near the broken indicator as if to check the damage, he pondered his next move. He could not let this man identify him. The shame, the humiliation, the pain, it was all too much to bear once again. He heard the door opening and the next moment Raju was standing next to him.

“Oh, Nothing serious, I guess” Raju commented.

Ajit was perplexed as to what to do next. His mind screamed for him to run. To run away from this man. To run away from his shameful past. He wanted to die then and there. The feeling of thousands of creepy insects crawling over his body was overwhelming. It was apparent that Raju could not speak Hindi. All along he was speaking English only. So there was every chance that he did not recognize him. They would never expect Ajit to be in this situation.

In the broken steel ring around the indicator, he saw his image. An awkwardly bulged, but a clear image. A dark face, with circles around the eyes. The eyes peered out from two deep sockets. The beard was thin, and grey. No way could they trace this face back to fifteen years. Ajit got some of his confidence back.

“Zyada kuch nahi saab” He answered in Hindi, deliberately putting on a UP accent.
“So you understand English. Can you tell me why you stopped the car? I mean I could not see anything on the road. No hump, nobody crossed, nothing of that sort.” There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“It’s because of you” Ajit whispered to himself. Then turning to Raju, he said loudly in Hindi.

“I thought I saw a cat crossing the road.”

“For a minute I thought, I was going to fly out through your front glass” Raju laughed hysterically as if trying to shake off the sudden incident from his mind. Ajit did not think it was important to respond to that. He was busy calculating the next move in his mind. If he let Raju travel in his car, there might be a chance that he will identify some traits of his old self. But the money on offer was simply irresistible. He could even charge five hundred rupees and Raju wouldn’t mind. The tug-of-war did not last long. The booming voice once again woke him up from his thoughts.

“Come on driver, I had to reach the airport before 12:15. Let’s move”

“Ok Sir” he answered and got into the vehicle. He had made up his mind. If he is careful, there is no way Raju could identify him. He could charge him 500 Rs. with a little more luck; he could save something which would keep Chandrakant silent for another week or so.

Forsaken - Introduction

2011-05-15T13:15:00.004+04:00

Introduction
Khar, one of the perennial slums of Mumbai woke up to another drab morning. The numerous make-shift shanties, with its gunny-bag curtains flapping against the tin walls competing with the passing local train’s thunderous noise, started to come alive like a bee hive. These shanties, dotting the busy railway tracks, resemble a cheap, local made pearl necklace worn by the local prostitutes.

6:00 A.M - December 23, 2006

The cacophony of women abusing each other to get ahead in the line for water woke him up. Through the crack on the tin wall, which once served as an advertising board, he saw the regular view. Pigs feasting on the garbage heaps and splashing in the black, syrupy water of the open drains. Beyond that, the rush of Khar station, office goers, vegetable and flower vendors running in all directions to catch the next local train.

Ajit got up from the mattress on which he was sleeping. As he pulled up the smelly, soiled bed sheet, which served as a blanket as well as protection from the all-pervading mosquitoes, an empty pint bottle of cheap whiskey rolled away to the corner making a clanging sound.
He took out a beedi from the soiled khaki shirt, the uniform of a taxi driver in Mumbai.
Isn’t it ironic, that the police, post-men, securities and taxi drivers wear the same color? He mused through the coils of smoke, while grabbing a small aluminum bucket from the corner and filled it from a big vessel. The bucket resembles my life. He said to himself. Lost it’s sheen due to overuse, shrunk at the bottom and used for only one purpose. Once it had everything. Color, shape and good utility.

“Hey Ajit bhaiyya, Kya soch rahe ho? Line lambi ho rahi hai.”

(Hey Ajit Brother, The queue is getting longer. What are you waiting for?)

Called out Radhe Shyam Tiwari, his neighbor. Like Ajit, he too was carrying a small plastic bucket and was rushing.

“Aa raha hoon bhaiyya” (I am coming, brother) He replied while jumping over the open drain.

The queue at the public toilet had around ten people. Three toilets, ten people. He calculated the approximate time frame. Five minutes each and the people start banging on the door. So fifteen minutes in the queue and five minute for himself. Twenty minutes. He had to be at Chandrakanth’s house at 7:00 AM to collect the keys of the car, or there will be no car for the next three days. Yesterday night, while returning the car, Chandrakant had reminded him that he will leave for his native place, Kolhapur, at 7:00 A.M. For three days, until his return, Ajit could keep the car and drive it day and night, if he wanted to.

He threw the Beedi into the open drain. It had gone off awhile ago.

The front-liners already started banging on the door and using choicest profanities.

“Abbe, Bosedi ke, kya pooja kar raha hai kya? Jaldi kar”

Pat came the reply. “Abbe Mother Chod, itna jaldi hai to track pe ja. Time lagega”

This had become a daily affair…the long, irritating wait in the toilet line, the foul smell, the conversation with the queue mates. Somewhere from the adjoining shanties, music was playing loudly.

“Ab tere bin, jeelenge hum, zehar zindagi ka pee lenge hum,” a popular song from a super hit film of his young days.

“Now, I’ll live without you, I’ll drink the poison of life.” A sad smile appeared on Ajit’s face.

The rumbling within had become stronger and now unbearable. The pricking pain started to increase. Another fifteen minutes is not possible. He turned away from the queue and walked towards the bushes near the Railway tracks.

2007-04-16T15:56:00.001+04:00

CON-Spiracy

I am feeling pathetic. It’s not the money you see, it’s the way I am being fooled, that too by a girl. Normally I am very vigilant, and never fall for such con. But when she said it was her father, I mellowed. May be because I went through the same at a very young age. But how dare that darned girl can do it to me? I can’t believe someone can be that good an actor or they can say things that she said.
I was working in one of those countless private computer firms in my native place. I left a good-paying job in one of the metropolis, just to be in my village. You see, I love this place. I love those end-less rubber estates, the smell of drying pepper, the little waterfall down the road, those lovely girls standing in the nearby bus stop, the cacophony of school going children. I loved everything about the place. So I decided, though the pay is much lesser than what I got at that big, fast and suffocating metro, to stay here. I joined the new office as an Administrator. On the second day, I was checking the muster and I found, for more than a week, one row was empty where they mark the attendance against one name.
Tina Philip. That was the name. I summoned the head clerk and asked him about it.
“Sir, she is a part timer but for the last one week she didn’t turn up”
“Has she informed about the continued absence?” I asked.
“No”.
“Did you check what happened?”
“No sir, she didn’t leave a telephone number and her cell phone is switched off”
So, that’s that. No way to trace her. What about mailing her, I asked him.
“I thought she would turn up anytime. So didn’t send mail”
“Ok. Write one right away, will you please?”
“Ok. I’ll do it. But she stays in a women’s hostel.”
“Ok. Send one to that address and try her mobile as well”
On the second day, the clerck informed me that he was able to get her on the mobile.
“What did she say?” I questioned.
“She said she will come within a day or two and explain everything”

Exactly on the fourth day, a pale, thin figure emerged from the blazing sun into my cabin. She was clutching her bag and umbrella in an awkward fashion as if to pour the contents onto my table. And she was sweating profusely, due to the sweltering heat outside.
“Good morning. What can I do for you?” I questioned.
“Sir, I am Tina Philip”
“Ok”.
I completely forgot about her. Now she was looking at me expectantly.
“Sir, I am working here part-time and was absent for one and a half week”
“Oh, I remember. Sit down please”
She sat on the edge of the chair opposite to me. Definitely she was anxious. Now I watched her intently. She was a beautiful girl, in her early twenty, with those wide eyes staring at the table top. I would say she is beautiful and there is something in her that makes your heart melt.
“So why were you not coming to the office all these while?” I enquired in a soothing manner. “Last week“ she said with her eyes still fixed on the table top, “ my father died”
I was taken aback.
“I am sorry. I really didn’t know. But why didn’t you just let the office know?”
She didn’t answer. Her face tilted downwards and her small, petite body shook a little as if she was sobbing. I saw one or two droplets on the glass top.
“Now, now, please don’t cry.”
“Sir, I am the only child of my parents and my mom is an emotional wreck. She needs my presence more than anything in the world. But when I got your call….”
The sentence trailed off as if she was accusing me. I felt much worse. Here a beautiful young girl, sitting in my office, sobbing and accusing me of not considering her feelings. Am I such an iron-hearted man? Now, whatever happened, I should make amends for it.
“Tina, please wipe your eyes. Now go home, be with your mother and console her. I know you need more time to settle things. So please feel free to go now and come back whenever you feel you are ready. And this is my personal mobile number, please feel free to contact any time”.
I wrote the number on a piece of paper and handed it to her.
“Sir, I need a loan to manage things. You can deduct it from my salaries when I join back”
“How much do you want?” I had to take sanction from the Md if the s um is high.
“Three salaries as advance sir”.
That’ll be about my one months salary. I can easily sanction it since it is under the limit. “Ofcource. Go to the accounts and tell the accountant.”
“Can you please call them up and authorize it? Otherwise they may not do it”
“Ok. You go there and I’ll tell them”
“Thank you very much sir.”
She left the room for accounts and for a full minute there was a faint smell of her lingering about. I picked up the intercom and dialled accounts.
“Hello, Is this Anil?”. Anil is the chief accountant.
“Yes?”
“This the Admin. Our part-timer Tina is coming to you for some loan against her salary. Please sanction it”
“Are you authorizing the payment, sir?” He queried.
“Yes I am.”
“Sir, but..”
“No.” I interrupted him. “Please don’t say anything. She is already upset and I don’t want to make it any worse for her. Anyway she will be working here so that you can deduct it from her salary. And she is not asking any big amount. It’s only three salaries.”
“If you insist, then I see no problem” I sensed a slight sarcasm in his sound. May be I am just imagining things.
“Ok. So please send the loan voucher, and I’ll sign it”
“Right Sir”.

That was on a Friday. On Saturday, I had to travel to the town for a personal visit. I was waiting at the signal for the light to change green. Suddenly a bike snaked through the little gaps between waiting vehicles and stopped at right beside my car, the passenger side of my car. The boy was laughing hysterically about something his pillion, a smartly dressed girl said. Since my window was open, I could hear them talking.
“You should see his face man. It was absolute sorrow, as if it was his father.” She said from the back seat amidst laughter.
That sound seems to be familiar. She was looking the other way so I can’t see her face.
“And he himself gave the order to give the cash. Poor fellow, His first salary is what we are spending now. They will deduct it from his salary” She slapped the boy on the back.
“When is your flight scheduled?” The boy asked.
“in a couple of hours. My dad will be waiting at the airport. So drop me there now”. The girl replied.
Suddenly I recognized the voice. No! it couldn’t be! How can it be!
And then that exact moment, the signal turned green and I saw Tina Philip, riding pillion, rode away into the horizon.